unofficial exceptional unauthorized preposterous

books:

Bored of the Rings
Henry N.; Kenney, Douglas C. (The Harvard Lampoon) Beard

Signet # 451-W7054, 1969

X-Treme Latin: Unleash Your Inner Gladiator

8 reviews
Henry Beard

Gotham, 2004

Let Your Steam Out in Latin
The book begins on the humorous side and then, as the title suggests, goes overboard and to the extreme in profanity. I don't know how much you'd actually get to use these expressions (a good deal of them may appeal to a really angry male who would feel some relief from screaming profanities) - but you may enjoy few giggles from more light-hearted and humorous expressions in this book.

The Official Rules of Bad Golf

2 reviews
Henry Beard

Sterling, 2007

It's the ball's fault
Great gift for a golfer, this book has all the "rules" that he, or at least his friends, probably play by all the time. But here they're written up in a hilarious parody of an actual rule book and Beard hits the style just right. Beard also wrote a collection of parodies of famous poems, Poetry for Cats: The Definitive Anthology of Distinguished Feline Verse, and he's a master of the art. Here's ...

Bored of the Rings: A Parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings

205 reviews
Harvard Lampoon, Henry Beard, ...

Roc Trade, 1993

"That leaves only Fordor but even a retarded troll would not go there"
And thus spake Orlon And who can forget this: "There are those that say he acts like he's got something to hide, they say," came a strange voice from the corner shadows. The voice belonged to a man, a stranger to the boggies of the Bag Eye, a stranger they had understandably overlooked because of his rather ordinary black cape, black chain mail, black mace, black dirk, and perfectly normal ...

Latin for All Occasions

16 reviews
Henry Beard

Gotham, 2004

Amusing and Fun
I am currently a Latin student, and will be using this book to amuse and annoy my teacher. Latin is one of my favorite subjects, and this is certainly a great addition to your textbooks. Vale, lacerte!

Golf: An Unofficial and Unauthorized History of the World's Most Preposterous Sport
Henry Beard

Simon & Schuster, 2009

As a serious player, a high handicapper, or simply a baffled onlooker to the awesome nonsense that is golf, have you ever wondered why, say, the golf balls have dimples, and the tee is both the thing you stick in the ground and the place you hit from, and the hole is so small, and the courses have all these big pits full of sand where any sane person would put grass? Well, so did noted humor writer and avid hacker Henry Beard, who brought ...

Poetry for Cats: The Definitive Anthology of Distinguished Feline Verse

16 reviews
Henry Beard

Villard, 1994

Funniest thing I've read in years. Maybe ever.
I ordered this book from a used seller, and by the time it was finally shipped, I'd forgotten I ordered it. I opened up this mystery package on the way home from work and was thrilled. I opened it up, read one poem, and nearly peed myself from laughter. The author writes as one who must have observed many a cat over the years. Showing both a love of poetry and a love of the feline, this book ...

X-Treme Latin: All the Latin You Need to Know for Survival in the 21st Century

5 reviews
Henry Beard

Gotham, 2005

fantastic for Latin geeks worldwide
This book would be funny for those just learning Latin because the English translations are funny. For those who know a fair amount of Latin the laughs are doubled as you read the English then work through the vocabulary chosen to express the sentiment in Latin! Contains countless phrases to be turned into t-shirts for your Latin geek friends and relatives

Advanced French for Exceptional Cats

1 review
Henry Beard

Villard, 1992

In stitches
My husband and I read this book together (his French is better than mine) and we're both in stitches from laughing.

Sailing

9 reviews
Henry Beard, Roy McKie

Workman Publishing Company, 2001

Two different editions...
William F. Buckley, Jr. is credited with saying this is the funniest book he ever read. It IS hilarious, and a must for every sailor. Be aware, however, that there are two versions. The original edition was 8.5"x5.5". The current publication is a 4"x4" "pocketbook". In this newer edition, several things have been changed: the design and layout are different, and several definitions have been ...

Cooking: A Cook's Dictionary

1 review
Henry Beard, Roy McKie

Workman Publishing Company, 1985

Inessential or, When Satire Seems Redundant
Henry Beard remains one of the better satirists out there. Never high-profile, but always digging in at the edges and providing consistently funny material to keep the shelves of the nation's bookstores' Humor sections stocked, Beard and illustrator Roy McKie wrote this series over the course of the 80s and early 90s in the tradition of Ambrose Bierce to provide humor for many hobbies. Clever, ...

French Cats Don't Get Fat: The Secrets of La Cuisine Feline

2 reviews
Henry Beard

Crown, 2005

Henri de la Barbe est magnifique!
If you are familiar with French For Cats, Advanced French for Exceptional Cats, and Poetry for Cats (as all of my feline friends have been) you know what to expect. And Beard delivers. This man truly loves his cats and French language and culture, and remains the master at spoofing recent trends. His target this time is French Women Don't Get Fat, and you will laugh out loud at the clever way ...

Skiing (Pocket Dictionary)

4 reviews
Henry Beard

Workman Publishing Company, 2002

Good laughs
Funny definitions of skiing-related terms. Does not contain any stories, but it is a dictionary after all. Would make a great little gift for any skier. Makes me smile every time I open it up, and I've read through it multiple times.

Golfing: A Duffer's Dictionary

2 reviews
Henry Beard, Roy McKie

Workman Publishing Company, 2001

If you are a golfer...good or bad
If you are a golfer,, good or bad. This is a great book for you. Also give it as a gift to the golfer you know. It will cause you to laugh out loud, and you will see yourself and so many others within the pages. It`s just for fun, but packed with true-isms, and half true-isms! Good to pull out on those rainy days, while waiting at the 19th hole, or at golf parties !!!!

O.J.'s Legal Pad:: What Is Really Going On in O.J. Simpson's Mind?

8 reviews
Henry Beard

Villard, 1995

Hilarious Take on a Double Murderer
OK, if the humor of the title of this review evades you, this is not the "book" for you. If you think the whole situation is funny, then get this book. Page after page of doodles and notes that blow political correctness out of the water, and made me laugh out loud. This product is fall down funny. Again, a classic that is out of print. Shame, shame, shame.

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