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The History of a Very Distinguished Family
CHAPTER I. - ANCIENT HEADS OF THE FAMILY.
Not more than a mile from the brisk little town of Nyack, on the Hudson
river, and near where the road makes a sharp turn and winds up into the
mountain, there lived, in the year 1803, an honest old farmer of the
name of Hanz Toodleburg. Hanz was held in high esteem by his neighbors,
many of whom persisted in pronouncing his name Toodlebug, and also
electing him hog-reef every year, an honor he would invariably decline.
He did this, he said, out of respect to the rights of the man last
married in the neighborhood. It mattered not to Hanz how his name was
pronounced; nor did it ever occur to him that some of his more ambitious
descendants might be called on in a court of law to explain the
circumstances under which their name was changed. I speak now of things
as they were when the old settlers around Nyack were honest and
unsuspecting, before Fulton had astonished them with his steamboat, or
those extravagant New Yorkers had invaded the town, building castles
overlooking the Tappan Zee, and school-houses where the heads of honest
Dutch children were filled with wicked thoughts. Hanz Toodleburg was short and stout of figure, had a full, round face, a
large blunt nose, and a small gray eye. Indeed, there was no mistaking
his ancestors, in whose language he spoke whenever the Dominie paid him
a visit, which he did quite often, for Hanz had always good cheer in the
house; and a bed for a stranger. In short, it was a boast of Hanz that
no traveller ever passed his house hungry, if he knew it. And it
increased his importance with his neighbors that he raised more bushels
to the acre than any of them, and sent better vegetables to the New York
market. More than that, he would tell all the big folks in the village,
with a nod of his head, that he owed no man a stiver he could not pay
before the sun set, and in such a way as to convey a sly hint that it
was more than they could do. The neighbors consulted Hanz concerning
their worldly affairs, and, indeed, received his opinions as good
authority. In fine, Hanz and the Dominie were called in to settle nearly
all the disputes arising between the country folks for miles around. And
it was said by these simple minded people that they got their rights
quicker and less expensively in this way than when they went to law in
the village and trusted to the magistrate and the lawyers for justice. As, however, there always will be idle and gossiping people everywhere
to say unkind things of their neighbors, especially when they are more
prosperous than themselves, so there were gossips and mischievous people
in the settlement who, when engaged over their cups, would hint at
suspicious enterprises in which Hanz's ancestors were engaged on the
Spanish Main. Indeed, they would hint at times that it was not saying
much for his family that his father had sailed with Captain Kidd, which
would account for the doubloons and Mexican dollars Hanz could always
bring out of a "rainy day." That Hanz had a stock of these coins put
safely away there could not be a doubt, for he would bring them out at
times and part with them, declaring in each case that they were the
last. But how he came by them was a mystery not all the wisdom of the
settlement could penetrate. It was conceded that if there was any man in
the settlement who knew more than Jacques, the schoolmaster, it was
Titus Bright, who kept the little inn near the big oak; and these two
worthies would discuss for hours over their toddy the question of how
Hanz came by his dollars and doubloons. But they never came to a
decision; and generally ended by sending their listeners home with their
wits worse perplexed than ever. It was all well enough for old Jacques
and the inn-keeper to show their knowledge of history; but the gossips
would have it that if Hanz's father had sailed with Captain Kidd he, of
course, knew where that bold pirate had buried his treasure, and had
imparted the secret to his son. Here was the way Hanz came possessed of
the doubloons and dollars. Indeed, it was more than hinted that Hanz had
been seen of dark and stormy nights navigating the Tappan Zee, alone in
his boat, and no one knew where he went. Another had it that he was sure
to part with a doubloon or two shortly after one of these excursions,
which told the tale. There were others who said it did not matter a fig
if Hanz Toodlebug's doubloons were a part of Kidd's hidden treasure; but
it was selfish of him not to disclose the secret, and by so doing give
his neighbors a chance to keep as good cows and sheep as he did. Hanz
was not the man to notice small scandal, and continued to smoke his pipe
and make his friends welcome whenever they looked in. Once or twice he
had been heard to say, that if anybody was particular to know how he
came by his doubloons and dollars he would tell them. There was a place
up in the mountain where he made them.
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