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The young girl was completely subdued by him. She was frightened, not
of the man, but of the sudden revelation of forces which she did not in
the least comprehend and which made him another person. Though she
vaguely understood that she still dominated him, she saw that her
dominion came from something much more subtle than verbal command and
imperious bearing. All confusion and bewildered meekness, she melted,
partly because she had meant to, partly because his vehemence
overpowered her, and partly because she wanted to end the most trying
scene she had ever been through. "Will you say yes? Oh, you must say yes," she heard him imploring, and
she emitted the monosyllable on a caught breath and then held her head
even lower and felt an aggrieved amazement that it was all so different
from what she had thought it would be. He gave an exclamation, a sound almost of pain, and drew away from her.
She glanced up at him, her eyes full of scared curiosity, not knowing
what extraordinary thing was going to happen next. He had dropped his
face into his hands, and stood thus for a moment without moving. She
peered at him uneasily, like a child at some one suffering from an
unknown complaint and giving evidence of the suffering in strange ways.
He let his hands fall, closed his eyes for a second, then opened them
and came toward her with his face beatified. Delicately, almost
reverently, he bent down and touched her cheek with his lips. The lover's first kiss! This, too, Susan had heard about, and from
what she had heard she had imagined that it was a wonderful experience
causing unprecedented joy. She was nearly as agitated as he, but
through her agitation, she realized with keen disappointment that she
had felt nothing in the least resembling joy. An inward shrinking as
the bearded lips came in contact with her skin was all she was
conscious of. There was no rapture, no up-gush of anything lovely or
unusual. In fact, it left her with the feeling that it was a duty duly
discharged and accepted - this that she had heard was one of life's
crises, that you looked back on from the heights of old age and told
your grandchildren about. They were silent for a moment, the man so filled and charged with
feeling that he had no breath to speak, no words, if he had had breath,
to express the passion that was in him. Inexperienced as she, he
thought it sweet and beautiful that she should stand away from him with
averted face. He gazed at her tenderly, wonderingly, won, but still a
thing too sacred for his touch. Susan, not knowing what to do and feeling blankly that something
momentous had happened and that she had not risen to it, continued to
look on the ground. She wished he would say something simple and
natural and break the intolerable silence. Finally, she felt that she
could endure it no longer, and putting her hand to her forehead, pushed
back her hair and heaved a deep sigh. He instantly moved to her all
brooding, possessive inquiry. She became alarmed lest he meant to kiss
her again and edged away from him, exclaiming hastily: "Shall we go back? We've been a long time away."
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