"What is it that makes each human being unique?"

books:


	• Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited Elyse Schein, Paula Bernstein Random House, 2007 - 288 pages average customer review:based on 65 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Fascinating

This is an enjoyable and compelling read. The diary like structure of the book provides a fascinating insight into the emotional impact of what must have been a completely bizarre and life altering experience for these girls.

Engrossing, riveting

I'm not a twin but one of many who have fantasized about how cool it would be to discover that one has a long lost one. This story was written like an adventure, as the twins go from discovering one another to finding out about their history like detectives. They way they alternated in telling the story and the humorous and honest way in which they went about it, sharing about how their reunion wasn't all Disney level perfect, made me not want to put the book down. There was a lot to glean in the story for non twins as it deals with imperfect families and the "ties that bind" whether blood or not. Great reading!

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Moving yet Educational

I was happily surprised by not only the warmth and charm of the story and writing but also the educational value. They have definitely done their homework about twins- and I was delighted not only to come out having read a fascinating story but also having learned a lot about the lives of twins. Elyse and Paula's made it easy to understand what they must have been feeling throughout incredible and unlikely circumstances and held nothing back to help us understand the roller coaster events of the reunion.

"What is it that makes each human being unique?"

Identical twins Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein were born on October 9, 1968 to a mentally ill mother and were subsequently placed in foster care. Before they reached their first birthdays, the babies were given by Louise Wise Services to kind and loving adoptive parents who had no idea that their daughters were part of a set of identical twins.

Fast forward to 2002. Elyse is at loose ends, living a bohemian life in Paris and hoping to become a film director. Although she has known for years that she was adopted, she suddenly decides to apply to the New York State Adoption Information Registry for information about her birth parents. Six months later, Elyse receives a letter from Louise Wise Services stating: "You were born at 12:51 p. m. as the `younger' of twin girls...to a 28-year-old Jewish single woman." This bombshell changes Elyse's life overnight. She has a million questions: Who is her twin, what does she do, and where does she live? When and why were the sisters separated? If Elyse were to contact her twin, would they get along? How could they possibly make up for lost time?

Meanwhile, Paula Bernstein is completely unaware that Elyse had embarked on a quest to find her. She is busy with her husband and two-year-old toddler, and has just begun settling in to her new apartment in Park Slope, Brooklyn. Elyse travels to New York and contacts Katherine Boros of Louise Wise Services, who quickly locates Paula and calls her to break the electrifying news. Shortly thereafter, the two women speak on the telephone for the first time. Finding out that they are twins is both an exhilarating and disconcerting experience. Although they look alike and have many things in common, Elyse is a single woman, footloose and fancy free, while Paula is a stay-at-home mom. They aren't completely comfortable with one another, and they occasionally argue. However, the sisters share a common goal--to learn more about their birth parents.

They interview a number of individuals and examine written records (some of which are difficult to access), hoping to learn the identity, background, and whereabouts of their "natural" parents. They also want to find out why the people at Louise Wise decided to separate them in the first place. The surprising answer reveals a great deal about the rigid and inhumane attitudes of psychologists and social workers back in the late sixties.

"Identical Strangers" is narrated in the twins' own words. Each woman describes her feelings and thoughts at every step in this voyage of discovery. Both talk about about meeting one another's adoptive families, getting used to one another's habits and quirks, and figuring out how to integrate a new sibling into their settled lives. They also include general information from scientific studies of identical twins, and their anecdotes are mind-boggling. Although the writing is far from elegant (the alternating voices of the narrators eventually become a bit jarring), the story of how the personnel at a prestigious adoption agency manipulated babies' lives in such a cold-blooded manner makes for compelling reading.

As sad as it is that Elyse and Paula did not know of one other's existence until they were in their thirties, it is heartening to learn that they are now happily reconnected and continue to be very close. The authors raise some intriguing questions: Are we the product of nature, nurture, or both? Who are our "real" parents--those who physically bore us or those who lovingly raised us? How can a person who never knew she had a sibling come to terms with the reality of this discovery? "identical Strangers" is a riveting human interest story with tremendous sociological, cultural, and psychological implications.

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reviews: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, page 11, 12, 13

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