Great therapy--you will change for the better

books:

	• It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy Greg Behrendt, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt Broadway, 2006 - 288 pages average customer review:based on 135 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

A Must-Have!

This book is a must have to anyone who's stuck in a breakup. I got this book after ending a three year relationship. It slapped me in the face with reality, and made me stop lying to myself. After reading this, I was able to start picking up the pieces and moving on with my life.

Right now, this book is loaned out to a friend who read, and also fell in love with "He's Just Not That Into You." I love how self-assured and empowered you feel after reading this book. So what's the difference between a girl stuck in a miserable breakup and one who's actually on the path of being happy alone?? This book!

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Reassurance in a book

I love this book, and I'm only 1/3 of the way through. I had a pretty "unconventional" relationship - an online, long-distance relationship with a long-time friend. Our friendship was 3 years and counting, the relationship was 3 weeks. I had a seriously hard time letting go of both the relationship and the friendship. This book outlines EVERY single one of your thoughts and stops you dead in your tracks. Thinking about calling him? Don't even go there! Rationalizing all the good things about him instead of the bad? No way, he dumped you! Going over all the things you did wrong, or could have done better? Don't think it's your fault! This book gives you practical, no-nonsense advice and insight. It also constantly reassures you that you're an awesome person, you deserve way better and that you WILL get over this. Everything you're thinking and feeling is totally normal and you shouldn't feel guilty for being sad and upset, but you SHOULD feel guilty for not moving on and proving to him (and you!) that you're a strong, confident person. I'm also glad this book doesn't force the whole "you should hate him for the rest of your life and take revenge" attitude, which I don't want, because I don't wish to hate someone I was so close with. I found that some other books (specifically Behrendt's "He's Just Not That Into You") make you feel WORSE about the situation because they tell you how much he doesn't want you, and that's not the reality check you need right now.

I highly, HIGHLY recommend "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken" to any woman who is brokenhearted over a guy.

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Tells it like it is!

I am a direct, in-your-face communicator, so when I started reading Greg and Amiira's advice in this book, it was perfect for me. They acknowledge the emotions and realities of a failed relationship as two people who have been there. They continually remind us that something was broken in your relationship if it ended, that you should not re-visit only good memories of the relationship as the dumpee, nor doubt yourself about your decision if you were the dumper. They also reiterate that no matter how long you were in the relationship, you cannot speed up the recovery process, and that it will take time to mourn the person who is no longer in your life. Excellent advice.

I don't care for the foul language in the book, but at times it is funny, and the his-and-hers tag team approach is fresh. This book was just like having an honest, objective friend coaching me whenever I needed one. If you're thinking about ending a relationship, or need to get over a relationship that has ended, get this book. Like me, you'll have a hard time putting it down.

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Great therapy--you will change for the better

The abridged CD was great because it had the two authors telling it like it is. To me it is good to hear their perspective, and they are fun to listen to. But the point of the material is to give you a perspective that will make you more powerful. At some level you know the truth but, you look at the truth and then quickly look away, or say, "Yes that is a truth, but..." This CD will help you fully believe the truth about that broken relationship. You won't look at what are currently your ineffective behaviors or uninformed attitudes concerning the broken up relationship as anyting but ineffective an uninformed. This CD will help to liberate you. It will really show you what you have not let register, but you need to let register, because that is why you are considering buying this CD.

Now Greg tells you you are a superfox, and you can decide if that is true or not, but you are worthy of a relationship that works seems to be his real meaning. As was pointed out in his "He's Just Not That into You" book, Greg doesn't seem to adequately address what you do if pickings are lean and this broken relationship may be the only love you think is out there. Well tough, that is part of life, despite Greg's optimism. But you don't have to make a fool out of yourself just because you are suffering. And besides you can build your life into something better and rediscover/reinvent who you are as a person.

I once discovered that I do really cool and fun things when I am dating someone and less so when I was not dating anyone. So part of the wonderful time I missed having with a broken relationship was that fun of doing those cool things.

Someone once said this: it is not about how you feel about them but how they make you feel that should determine the value of a relationship to you.

I am a straight guy and I loved this CD and the CD "He's just not that into you". There are no analogous materials for guys and I found both of these CDs to be very beneficial for me. A woman being just not that into a guy is not much different than the other way around, so the stories and concepts worked fine for me.

If you need a double dose, also get the "Just Not That into You" CD. This is deprogramming technology at its best!

As another reviewer noted, the unabridged Breakup audio (available on iTunes) does not have the actual authors doing the voice, but rather some reader. Get the abridged CD with the original authors.

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The fun way to recover from a broken heart

This book is a blast. The author of "He's Just Not That Into You" returns with his wife Amirra to pen a book on how to recover from breaking up with "dude," whether he was that into you or not.

Greg Behrendt has his own daily talk show on the CW and I hope you can tune in. That's where I found out about this book. I confess to being one of the lucky ones--I'm not going through a break-up, but I remember from experience how painful and debilitating they can be. That's how I know that this book is packed with recovery tips and lots of insight from fellow sufferers who have been there and done that.

The concept of the BREAK-UP BUDDY is an awesome idea. You NEED someone you can call 11 dozen times a day when you're obsessing and tripping, but if you don't have a designated person for this, you're gonna scare off everyone who knows and loves you.

Another great feature of this book is the humor. LOVE the PSYCHO CONFESSIONAL. I don't know why the one from Anonymous in Raleigh NC is in this section; sounds to me like the son of a bee-otch got what he had coming to him. It's hilarious! Wish I'd thought of that one.

I'd say read this book *before* the break-up. As a wise person once said, "get the house built before the storm comes." But if you can't do that and you find yourself in a world of pain, pick up this volume and have a few good belly laughs on your way to recovery. Humor heals the heart.

As Greg would say, "Continue Rocking," you Superfox!

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reviews: 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, page 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20

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