I'm on the fence about this one... Good information mixed in a sea of other stuff...

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	• Sink Reflections Marla Cilley Bantam, 2002 - 256 pages average customer review:based on 344 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Unbelievable Results

In just two short weeks, this book has changed my life, my house even my brain from complete chaos to orderly and peaceful. It is easy and it is fun. It is written so you can't fail. Just focus on the "baby steps".

I'm on the fence about this one... Good information mixed in a sea of other stuff...

I bought this book because I'm a 24 year-old newlywed, part time substitute teacher, full time telecommuter with my online business, who's sensitive about the fact that I live in CHAOS, or "Can't have anybody over syndrome." I felt disappointed in myself for not keeping a clean house and felt that, even though he never said anything, that it was something that bothered him about me. I've long thought that if I could change one thing, it'd be the way I keep house. Enter this book. This book comes highly recommended, so I figured it'd be the motivation that I need to find myself and restore my house to a livable condition again.

Overall, I'm on the fence about the book. For every one thing I can find to recommend it, I find one thing that I disliked. The suggestions for house cleaning, the putting out your "hot spots," the "27 fling boogie," the 5 minute room rescue, and the marathon cleaning techniques were all extremely helpful. I found that doing these small things kept me from being not only overwhelmed with cleaning, but made an impact in the overall cleanliness of my home. The control journal is a lifesaver, the perfect way for tracking what needs to be done and when. It's nice to have a record of the last time you cleaned those "rarely cleaned" items, because I often found myself saying "well, I just cleaned ______" for about 6 months, past the point where it obviously needs to be cleaned again. The room zones were just brilliant. Breaking down the house into zones was an immense help and it really helped to make sure that along with your routines you spent time majorly cleaning or picking up a room. It is the perfect compliment to the smaller routines she suggested (hot spot cleaning, 27 fling boogie, etc). I even found the suggestions for the order of cleaning to be immensely helpful because I allow my rooms to get to a point of such disaster that I don't know where to start, so looking at a check list that lays out a plan of attack keeps me from being overwhelmed. This book is good for those of us who've lived in constant disaster for longer than can be imagined, who are just desperately seeking a place to start, some foothold to gain so that we can regain our lives. This book gave me a framework which I adapted to my own routine and cleaning ability, so even though I didn't follow it exactly, it gave me that idea I desperately needed.

My problems with this book... The author starts right off by saying she's writing the book because she was so deeply touched by ANOTHER book (Sidetracked Home Executives by Pam Young and Peggy Jones), which she adapted to form her routine, which she writes about in this book. My first thought was "well if that book worked so well for her, why did I buy this book?" I wondered if I might be better off getting the information from the source, instead of the reinterpreted information from the FlyLady. The other problem I had was that there was a lot of wasted information and space in this book... To get to the nuggets about cleaning and reclaiming your home from clutter, you read through countless pages by the author about how her method will rock your world and change your life. Even through chapter 6 she was still talking about how her methods will save you from disaster. And the entire book was packed with testimonials of FlyBabies who were thanking the FlyLady for chaning their lives. I got frustrated because if I didn't believe that, I wouldn't have bought the book, and so the constant readvertising of this instead of addressing techniques or ideas was frustrating to me. I kind of got the impression that this book was a warm-up act for the website.

The thing that, I think, bothered me the most was the constant reminder of your own accountability in keeping your house clean, the reminder that what you're doing is a "blessing" to the family, and that you should trudge along to reclaim your house because "it didn't happen overnight." But then she almost absolves the rest of the family from any sort of culpability in the house becoming the way it does, and in turn, for being any part of the solution. She says that because you don't set the example of cleanliness, they don't clean in response to you. She chapter 5 she even states: "Have a family meeting tonight. I would like you to sit down with your family and apologize for not setting the proper example in the past for them. Tell them about your new routines and FlyLady. Ask for help in establishing routines. Be honest! Kids love it when you are honest and apologize." I read that and I couldn't help but think that for those of us who feel sore about our lack of housecleaning, making an admission of full guilt in that doesn't help the situation. The insult that adds to injury is that just after this announcement that you make to your family, that you're doing a new routine and need help, she writes the following: "Quit being a martyr! Do the things that need to be done to get your home in order. If your children or husband are not doing their jobs around the house, then take the jobs back and do them yourself." I guess I just found it insulting to imply in one statement that you need to get help, then imply in the next that your family may be incapable of helping you so you should just simply take on their duties yourself. This makes cleaning more daunting because if you're in a family like mine where you're 50% of the mess, doing your part to make the house presentable without asking the same sort of thing from the people who live with you, you spend an inordinate amount of time cleaning up after people instead of maintaining cleanliness. When she said that you could reclaim rooms in your house or your cleanliness in "a few short months", I just wanted to shout, "If you get your family to help, it can be shorter than that!" I guess this was just frustrating to me. As was her constant speaking of how her house is in fantastic working order and she is happy and successful in her life in home. It was not motivational to me to hear her talk about her practical perfection, and it came off as sort of rubbing my nose in it, almost in hopes of shaming me to do the same.

I know that people in reviews also thought the idea of dressing up and putting on make-up and your good jewelry and pearls to clean (yes, she did suggest that) was a little too June Cleaver, and I have to admit that I myself have problems feeling productive cleaning when I'm wearing nice clothes with my good jewelry (bleaching things wearing a $4,000 wedding ring just doesn't seem like a good idea to me), but I understand the methodology and I imagine it works for some (though it worked better for me to have a "clean house wardrobe", something that was nice but that if it got ruined I wouldn't lose sleep over it). The chapter about how house cleaning is your testimonial to God and a way to worship him would be off-putting to some too, I imagine. I know being Wiccan, I found little relevance in this chapter to my life, but I applaud people who can. I was also hoping for a little more in the way of organization tips, ways to utilize space or have things laid out so that cleaning was easier and easier to maintain, but I got a book on organization to fill that gap.

I don't know. There is a lot to recommend this book, but there is a lot that was hard to palate for me personally. Nobody said it was easy to clean house, but I guess I'm still looking for that book that is the happy medium between June Cleaver and her guide to being a good wife and the disarray I'm living in now. I need help cleaning, I do not need 72 pages of member testimonial telling me why the FlyLady is so great... Especially when these testimonails are based off of information that was gotten off her website. I think that if she had weeded out the testimonals, cut back on the self endorsement a bit, and paired her information on cleaning with organizational tips and ideas so that when you did your hot spot cleaning there was a plan for what to do with the stuff, this book would have been an unbeatable tool for house cleaning. Instead I can't help but feel as if I've been given half the tools I need to regain my life and house.

I mean, it's all well and good to clean your sink to see your reflection, but is it really practical to clean the sink and then follow behind your family to dry the sink after every use of the water to keep water spots from forming (as she suggests), especially when you come from a point of complete organization disaster and CHAOS?

I can't say I wouldn't suggest this book to other people in my position, but I can't suggest it with the zeal that some others here have. It did help me develop a routine and a way to regain control of my house and clutter, and it did help me set up routines to change my life and house, so it did accomplish that goal. But I had to do a lot of fishing, sorting, skimming, rewritting, reforming, to get it. I guess that means I should write my own book... ;) I would say a book on organization is needed to get the full FlyLady effect though.

Just my $.02, it certainly isn't a popular $.02 considering her legions of devoted fans who find her to be an inspiration, but it's my honest review.

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Try It - Different Approaches for Different Folks

I like the suggestions to set a timer and spend 15 minutes in one room clearing clutter. This works for me, especially when I'm having trouble getting started. When it seems like just too big a job, then the 15 minute tip overcomes my resistance. Sure, I can manage 15 minutes. Once I start, I'm so encouraged by the results that I keep going.
Making something routine (making the bed, emptying the dishwasher) is a big help for me. My old tendency was to note something needing attention and promise myself to get to it later. Making the bed is now automatic to me and I don't even think of it as a chore. As you create the habit of tidiness, one chore at a time, your home becomes an attractive haven to you, not the constant reproach of undone tasks.
I did knock off 2 stars on the review for the drawbacks pointed out by some other reviews. The tips are great and do work for many, but the tone and organization of the book could improve. Most of us have tried a variety of clutter-busting books. Maybe this is the one that will fit you and make a change in your life.
I recommend also reading The 10 Minute Clutter Control and Christopher Lowell's Seven Layers of Organization: Unclutter Your Home, Unclutter Your Life.

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reviews: 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, page 19, 20

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