wonderful example of a father daughter relationship

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	• What a Difference a Daddy Makes: The Indelible Imprint a Dad Leaves on His Daughter's Life Kevin Leman Thomas Nelson, 2001 - 256 pages average customer review:based on 26 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

What A Difference A Daddy Makes, by Dr. Kevin Leman

When I got married five years ago, I don't think I truly realized the awesome responsibility that loomed before me. Several years before that, after breaking off an engagement with someone the Lord did not intend for me to marry, I got a glimpse of how unprepared I was for the burden of being a husband. My ex-fiancé and I would've been ill-matched anyway, but as the relationship dissolved, I was painfully aware of the mistakes I'd made, and that even though I had been "ready" to get married from a commitment to one person perspective, I was nowhere near ready to accept the welfare of someone's daughter. It hurt a lot, and took many years of introspective study and prayer before God made me ready for my beautiful wife and true soul mate, Abby.
However, even then, I don't think it ever hit me what role I was going to have to play someday as a father, and that's pretty natural - for the first couple years, I was focused on not screwing up the husband part (which God willing - and thanks to a very patient wife - I managed not to do). However, just about two years ago, a new world of hopes, dreams, responsibility - as well as gut-wrenching nightmares - was opened up when our daughter Madison Kennedy Lucia was ushered into the world. Even in the middle of all that, though, it was easy to get caught up in `proud, doting father' syndrome, and it only really settled in about six months later the impact I would have on my daughter.

It happened naturally enough, but gradually I realized that Madison spent an enormous amount of time watching me. And watching me.

And watching me some more.

Watching everything.

And then doing everything I did, copying me to the very `T'.

It hit me like a sledgehammer then, as I'm sure it does many dads - my daughter/son watches my every movement; everything I say, do, and will someday model themselves after me.

Wow. Talk about massive reality check. The thought a small child, so helpless, innocent, and without their own self-determination, would base their initial perspectives of the world on someone like me was awe-inspiring, humbling - and just plain frightening, all at once.

However - at least it hit me, because sad to say, we're living in a world where many men never make this connection - even Christian dads. They get caught up in so many other, manly things - doing chores, (which of course, do need to be done eventually, unless you want to hack your way to the front door with a machete), picking up an extra job or working later hours so they can provide better financially for their family - you know, all the man stuff. Plus, it's tough to give up playing hoops with guys, shooting a round of golf, or tooling around in the garage. After all - as babies, they're noisy, stinky, and not very interesting - and let's be honest, this is not what men do, right?

Sadly, these men miss out on the formative years of their sons and daughters' childhood, their once in a lifetime chance to bond with their children passing them by, leaving their kids with memories of a dad who always too preoccupied with "man stuff" to ever build a relationship with them.

Dads - if you're reading this and it strikes a chord, or even if you think you're "all good", as they say today - go to your nearest Christian bookstore or go online and get What A Difference A Daddy Makes, by Dr. Kevin Leman. This is an insightful devotional that focuses especially on the relationship between a father and his daughter, but it embodies principles that all men should incorporate into their lives. Dr. Leman presents advice and Biblical direction in a conversational, frank, and practical way. He couches no terms in this book, presenting the Biblical model of a man, which clearly contradicts the world's concept of "manliness".

The most humbling aspect of this book is how, in many ways, men have abandoned their crucial role in their daughter's lives, thinking that the sole responsibility of raising a girl should go to - well, the other girl in the family, the older one - mom. When a father starts considering that he models not only a healthy marital relationship to his daughter, influencing what type of mate she will pick someday and what type of wife she will be, but also acts as an archetype for how his daughter will someday relate with her heavenly father, the implications are astounding.

Men, don't miss out on the precious relationship that you could have with your children, especially your daughters. Go buy What A Difference A Daddy Makes at a Christian bookstore nearest you today, or better yet - put off the lawn until tommorrow, don't worry about the timing on the truck engine, and take a break from golf. Play with your kids, take them to the park - let them know who Dad really is.

[...]

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All about perspective...

You will like this book... and you will want to share it and the knowledge with others.

My wife and I are two true opposites. I enjoy cooking; my wife enjoys cleaning. I would rather cook; she would rather clean. She has six sisters and zero brothers. I have two brothers and zero sisters. What do these characteristics have to do with this book?

Everything.

From both perspectives (my wife's and mine), this is simply a superlative book! I consider myself quite savvy, emotionally attached, and a true believer of self and self-awareness. This book further elucidates the concept that the Daddy-Daughter relationship affects all of us.

Yes... mothers are affected by their respective fathers; but, more importantly, they are affected by their husband's relationship with their daughter(s). Before reading this book, my wife did not fully understand the scope of her father's relationship values (or lack thereof). Moreover, through our reading and sharing the knowledge within this book, my wife has learned to appreciate MY relationship with OUR daughter. She now understands the relative importance of me being "the "go-to" guy. She now understands that there are some things Daddies just know and do.

Much like the Mother's intuition, Daddies have a super sense of balancing teaching/learning; strength/subtlety; faith/hope; patience/expectations... and the significant-yet-natural-to-fathers concept of balancing parental expectations with our daughters' fears.

Dr. Leman covers the entire gambit in this quick read. Indeed, there are many other books available on related topics. However, Dr. Leman's approach is simple without being simplistic. You will like this book.

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Incredible, a must read for any dad

What a Difference a Daddy Makes is a great book that stresses how important the role of the father is in the life of his daughter. [...] any books by Kevin Leman before, but once I started reading, I couldn't put it down. Dr. Leman keeps the andecdotes coming fast and furious, and page after page is full of great advice.

After finishing the book yesterday, I know this is a book I'll need to revisit over the years as my three year old daughter gets older. Leman emphasizes that dads (and moms) need to be "good" parents. It's almost impossible to be great parents. We'll all fail at times, but it is important for dads to be their and to be involved. It is also important for dads to model what role a man should play in her life. If a girl has a father with bad traits, she will most likeley seek out the same traits as a husband. Leman also stresses to live out God in everything you do in your life. For example, don't set aside a time for devotions. Istead, constantly look to share the Bible, or talk about God, during day to day activities. Leman also points out that fathers are responsible for teaching their girls about the bad parts of life, about how not everyone is nice and about how there will be failure. This leads into one of Leman's strongest contentions: Men must take the lead in teaching their daughters about sex. That's a section I won't need for awhile, but he definitely knows what he's talking about and I believe has written books on the subject.

The father/daughter relationship is a special one. Leman's book is a must-read and a great resource for all dads out there given the privelege of having a little girl. I've also read "What a Daughter needs from a Dad" by Michael Farris, and it is a great book too, but I'd reccommend Dr. Leman's book over that one if you have to choose which one to buy.

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wonderful example of a father daughter relationship

This book gave excellent examples of father/daughter relationships and how to develop and instill them. A must read for any dad.

reviews: 1, page 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

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