If he loves you he won't make you cry.......

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	• This Affair is Over!! Nanette Miner BVC Publishing, 1996 - 56 pages average customer review:based on 22 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Resolution of the Self

I met a married man, but it wasn't until I did my own investigation w/n 1 month of meeting him that I realized he was married. He never denied it and admitted to only being "informally" separated. Later I came to find out when he told me that before he married her 30 years ago he told her he was not the kind of man to be faithful to her, but if she wanted to get married he would. 30 years later he regrets getting married, admitted to being scared for the first 10 years for reasons I do not know. Through his stories he has revealed numerous extramarital affairs. And from all indications, his wife has known and accepted it. In his own words, he gives her all that she wants (as far as he knows), money, home, children, security.... As for the other women, me included, he promises to do anything I want in bed, or give me anything I want. He is not driven by a need for numerous women, but a need to accept himself (through the ego). Although 6'3" with a hard body, 7% body fat, self made millionnaire, this is not enough. Having been raised in an affluent lifestyle and father who was a major partner in a prominent DC lawfirm, he too attended Ivy League schools. With 3 degrees to his name, worldwide travel, prominent entrepreneur in real estate development, it's not enough. Something inside will never be satisfied by me or any other woman. I'll move on eventually, as I've looked at this as a moment in time to discover myself. He'll move on to other women and interests. The constant will be his wife with the small guarantee that he will stay the course with her until one of them dies. He's successfully raised two children with his wife, both live abroad, neither of them (in their 20's) have jobs or are interested in employment. They have no motivation to earn money when Daddy provides it, yet his frustration that they don't have the same drives and compulsion he does drives him crazy.

I hope this book helps other women or men in affairs with married partners. For me, it has helped me realize it's perfectly acceptable for me to take this time and opportunity to discover myself. They key, of course, is that I have numerous partners outside this one to separate my emotional relationships from my physical relationship with this married man.

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Excellent Book!

I recomend this book to anyone in an affair. I thought my affaire was unique. But it is like all the rest of them. This book helps you get through it. Your not alone!

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If he loves you he won't make you cry.......

I met the most beautiful man - he was everything
I looked for in a man. I loved him. That was the moment I saw
him. On our first meeting he told me he was married - unhappily but married. Our romance, friendship and 'relationship' lasted 5 months. 7 months later ....... I am on my own. It turned out his love for his wife meant more and that leaving her would be far more painful than giving up his love for me. I was under the sad illusion that I was the love he had only ever dreamed of. I waited to read this book because I knew it would tell me things I had previously not wanted to hear. For any woman who has loved a married man, this will help you move on as you will realise how far down the priority line you actually are. When reading this book, prepare to read things you don't want to read, feelings you don't want to feel and realities you don't want to face. Remember - if he loves you he will do whatever it takes to be with you and will never want to see you cry. If he lets you cry, he doesn't love you. Heal your heart and strive for true love. I have every hope that its out there. My heart goes out to all women that have loved married men. Nothing changes the love for my married man but I am on the willing yet long road to having to live without him. Best of luck in your struggle to move on......

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My situation was Unique? ha!

This book is full of things you don't want to read. We all think our situations are unique, our loves are special, our relationships with married men are different. Ha! This book dispels all those lies we tell ourselves to make it okay. It opened my eyes to the reality of the situation and the realization that every affair is the same. It was an eye opener and it really did help me.

As to the affair itself, my guy dumped me to work on things with the wife just as the book said they usually do. Time has passed and he has decided to leave his wife and get a divorce. We are trying to pick things up and make a relationship work. Does this make my affair different? Not really... but sometimes the outcome is different. I guess I got a guy in the 1% of men who really do leave their wives...

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lots of insight

I have been pursued by a married man for the last three months, and was curious why. This book flatly explains that it is only because the man is sick and that *I* as an individual have nothing to do with it. It says "it doesn't need to be YOU, he will go and get any woman he can," and with all the clues listed in the book to prove this point I was suddenly aware that this is true. Also I don't need to feel guilty any more, because if this man will anyway pursue any woman, it is not inherently in me to invite him to this nasty behaviour. I think this type of book is rare, and it gives lots of insight into the real feelings of women. There is no romanticizing it, which is what most women need when being fervently pursued by a married man.

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