a book i have never forgotten

books:


	• One Child Torey L. Hayden Avon, 1981 - 336 pages average customer review:based on 171 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

One Child (Layne Pearson)

When I started reading this book I didn't think I was something that I would like, but I decided to keep reading and I turned out a great book. First six years old Shelia never spoke, never cried, when she looked at you her eyes were filled with hate. She was abandon on the highway by her mother, and was abused by her alcoholic father. Next she was placed in a class for the mentally and hopelessly retarded. This was because she committed an atrocious act of violence on a boy 1 year younger than her. Finally Torey her teacher fought to get through to Shelia. She spent many months trying to find the way through those hate filled eyes. Truly this is a great book, I really recommend this book, and if you want to know more read "One Child".

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Thank you Torey!

As a victim of extreme child abuse and experiences not dissimilar to that experienced by Sheila, and as an adult who has become consistently drawn to helping children who struggle with various aspects that block their progress, I am compelled to say that I found both One Child and The Tiger's child to be an incredible journey and an amazingly cathartic read. I am grateful that I was privileged enough to share it with these two amazing people.

On the one hand, I could relate to Sheila in so many ways - and reading about her helped me to understand my own strength and courage, and through her, to respect what I have managed to achieve in my life, against the odds.

I also related strongly to Torey, who shows what it means when an adult truly tries to understand the child behind the behaviour. She shows us what it means to look below the surface, what it means to truly care enough to have an impact. She shows us what it means to choose to love and take a chance.

The risk of doing harm in this context pales in comparison to the chance of adding some sense of self worth to the psyche of a very damaged child. I cannot praise Torey enough for what she managed to do for Sheila. The value of what was offered far outweighs any cost.

Torey admits openly in The Tiger's Child that she discovered that her own disappearance from Sheila's life caused harm. She is very honest about this. She also expresses her own angst and regret at this fact. Sheila was definitely hurt by Torey's disappearance. However, she also benefited from the encounter in ways that nobody can understand unless they have been there and experienced it.

In my childhood, there was a psychologist/social worker who spent a short time sharing space with me when I was about six years old. I have always missed her since we parted ways and would still love to see her again - but the fact that she was there, even for five minutes, matters enormously to me, because she made me realise I had value, that I was important enough that I deserved help. I have never been angry at her for moving on in her life, and in fact never thought about it from the position of feeling abandoned until I read Tiger's Child.

In the end, it is a matter of choice of perspective - I chose to value the good that was offered to me and to hang onto that and find strength in the memory of it. I imagine many other children would make that same choice.

What Torey added to Sheila's sense of identity by being there for those five months when she was so small, was an idea that she had worth. She also showed Sheila that her life had possibility, that she could have a future - that it was okay to hope for something better. Without this hope, Sheila may never have survived for so long.

At a crucial time in her development, Torey gifted Sheila with an alternative view of the world, and let her know that she wasn't ever completely alone. It seems distinctly plausible that by doing this, she averted disaster and probably prevented Sheila from heading down a path of potential sociopathy.

The focus on IQ was, quite simply, on two levels - firstly, that Torey was so surprised to discover that this firey little ball of dirt and fists had such potential, and secondly, that it was an attribute that could be used in "the system" in order to achieve a new chance at a future for Sheila. In the era described, IQ carried great weight, and I know if I was trying to save a child from what I considered to be a harmful future setting, I would use whatever positive attributes that exist within that child as much as possible. The beauty of IQ in that context is that it is something which can be measured and demonstrated - and it works in a court of law.

Torey made no judgement of any of her other students who had lower IQs, clearly loved them all and was passionate about assisting each and every one of the to a better quality of life. It just happens that this particular child had a huge impact on her teacher, and in the end, that is what this book (and Tiger's Child) is about - the teacher's admiration for the courage, strength, endurance and tenacity of a young individual who is struggling against massive life obstructions.

I urge everyone to remain open to the idea that Torey's efforts, while possibly not perfect, were by far better than the consequences of no efforts being made at all.

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Whoopy Doo

Adam Hobbs
Once Child
Torey Hayden
Avon Books
©1998
354 pages

Teacher and literary genius Torey Hayden hits a high note with her captivating book, "One Child." I have been blessed with the opportunity to read this story and it truly is a masterpiece. The words set forth to paper in this story are more powerful than a Boeing jet and have the strength to move you on an emotional level.

This is the story of young special education teacher Torey Hayden and her quest for higher knowledge to the handicapped and disturbed. She is given the task of teaching a class deemed impossible that is full of misfit kids with bizarre backgrounds of abuse, poverty, depression, and mental handicaps. She fights against the odds to reach the kids on a deeper level, when a seven year old girl with a disturbing past and animalistic behavior is placed in her class to await transfer to the state mental hospital. Torey uses everything within her power to help this girl and break her from submission.

Torey Hayden has a style a writing that will not only give you mental pictures of the vast scenarios set forth in this story, but she will also give your mind a ride it won't expect. I'll be honest, when I first starting reading this book my expectations were very low, but once I got into it I couldn't set it down. Torey Hayden has great word choice and can describe any situation down to the detail and still keep the story going. Her fluent, in depth descriptions are beautifully written and kept me engaged through out the whole book.

This story, along with its powerful words, has a strong, meaningful message that everyone should read. This story speaks of tolerance for those who are different because they are a direct result of their environment and it is not their fault they act the way they do. It also tells that you should accept peoples little quarks and disabilities because it is what they want to be like and it is better to be different then to blend into a world that does not accept them anyways.

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a book i have never forgotten

I read this book many years ago while i was in high school. i have re-read it several times. I HATE RE-READING NORMALLY! but every couple of years i take it out, and it still makes my cry, tears of happiness and sorrow. it is by far a classic in my collection of books. i recommend this book all the time to adults and students, everyone of them has thanked me!

Personally..

I found value in the reviewer who related the history of the eugenics movement to the gifted child movement. However, we're all biased. Perhaps the issue was that if Sheila wasn't gifted she may have been institutionalized. I seldom read books cover to cover for various reasons of time and life situations. I was hell bent however at being a social worker or something of that nature at one point, and I ate this up. I read it all, and I cherish the emotional bent that keeps these women fighting for kids and loving when it's hard. This is essentially a beautiful story whether you buy it or not. I don't find it strange thAt Torey would seek out Sheila if only for her second book about it as it can't be so really: It must be so rewarding to see someone flourish that you helped and who cared for you aNd vice versa.

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reviews: 1, 2, page 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

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