Leman has a practical, smooth and humerous style and his writing is enjoyable to read.For the dad that wants to make a difference! What an incredibly well-written challenging book. I yellow-highlighted it extensively and this will be a book to which I refer from time-to-time. The summary statement to the book comes in the opening chapter where Leman writes: "The father-daughter relationship is the key to every woman's aching heart." In John Etheridge's book, Wild at Heart, he talked about a man's wounded heart; here, Leman talks about a little girl's aching heart and how her daddy is key to making her the daughter, wife and mother she should be. The premise of his book is that the "fundamental ingredient in any woman's life is her relationship with her father". He states that "a woman's relationship with her father, more than any other relationship, is going to affect her relationships with all other makes in her life. There's not a single relationship that isn't indelibly stamped - for good or for ill - by the man known as Daddy." Leman then spends the balance of the book detailing the difference daddy makes, the duty of daddy and daddy's dilemma. This is a "must" read for any father who wants to be a great dad.
Dr. Leman writes this book in a conversational style, and he gives firm council without sounding preachy. He lays out real anecdotes, and recounts the ups and downs, highs and lows, of raising his daughters. Throughout the book is one common theme - be involved! He warns of the consequences that will likely result from a lack of involvement. If I thought that the challenges of being a parent were scary, the consequences of not being an actively involved one are even more so. He gives the analogy of "wet cement" to depict that we have but a brief time to help mold their lives, and then it is too late. There are a great many substitutes for what we are intended to provide, with most of them carrying a huge cost.
I enjoyed the disbursement of information he shares about various wins and mistakes he himself made with his daughters, and wish to thank his whole family for their willingness to have their personal lives shared to benefit others. When he got to the last chapter on his first experience with marrying off a daughter, I had tears in my eyes and a knot in my stomach, and my daughter is only 1!
Also of great importance is the fact the he stresses the value of having an openly affectionate and positive relationship with our wives as being equally important in raising daughters. Our children will model what we do, not what we say, and depicting a healthy relationship with my wife, showing various ways of handling conflicts, treating her with kindness and respect, and being openly affectionate will model for my daughter the kind of man we want her to marry.
Overall, an excellent book for all parents of daughters, with advice and council that is critical for parents who wish to raise their daughters to be emotionally healthy and to make good choices about their lives and relationships. The book is challenging and firm where it should be. As a father, I found several quotes and tips illuminating enough to be stored away to be used when needed. I recommend this book highly. It is not a textbook style "self-help" manual, but rather reads like a story. All fathers, or potential fathers, should read this book and realize what a tremendous responsibility we have for these little lives, and just how much we are needed to help mold them in a positive way.
There were several chapters in the book that made me think, "This chapter alone is worth the price of the book." I think my favorite was chapter five - A Good Dad. Dr. Leman offers the encouragement that a dad doesn't need to be a great dad, just a good dad who is present and consistent. Super daddy once in a great while isn't the key. Rather, good dad in generous and frequent doses is the key to raising a well-adjusted daughter.
Dr. Leman offers this profile of a "Good Father:"1. A Father who is there 2. A Father who understands 3. A Father who honors his wife 4. A Father who believes in his daughter 5. A Father who lets his daughter hurt
I could hardly believe number five, until I read what Dr. Leman had to say to explain himself.
Dr. Leman's book endeared itself to me. His writing style is pleasant and straightforward. He shares many stories from his own family to illustrate his points. One of the greatest aspects of the book is that he shares some of his own personal failures as a daddy, not just his victories. He does not come off as one who is perfect telling others that they should be perfect too.
What a Difference a Daddy Makes covers a great deal of territory. The final four chapters are devoted to addressing difficulties that fathers will face. It was valuable reading, especially when he addressed stages of development that a father will need to know about to interact with both his daughter and his wife.
I would be amiss not to mention that this is a book about parenting for both fathers and mothers, daughters and sons. The focus is primarily on the father-daughter relationship, but periodic sections deal with the mother-son relationship as well. This book will be profitable reading for all parents.
I certainly enjoyed this book. It taught me several things I did not yet know. It affirmed in me many things I was already thinking about in rearing my daughter. This book will lift your spirits and encourage you as a parent. Enjoy!