Good Reference Book from Attachment Parenting Perspective

books:


	• The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Revised and Updated Edition) William Sears, Martha Sears, ... Little, Brown and Company, 2003 - 769 pages average customer review:based on 817 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

The Baby Book

This book is huge and written like a book, not questions and answers, but has valuable info. in it. I'd recommend it to first time parents. It's easy to find exact subjects and has come in handy many times already--my daughter is only 3 months old!

It's a guide book, and a good one, not a guilt trip...

When my first son was born 4 1/2 years ago, I had read the "What to expect" series, and felt pretty prepared. After a LONG ten weeks of colic, my son settled down. At 4 months he started sleeping through the night in his own room (after a few nights of limited crying)and would happily play by himself on the floor for long periods of time, or sit quietly in his stroller while I went about my business. He weaned himself easily by age one and never seemd to miss the breast after that. I remember hearing about "attachment parenting" and thinking, those people must be CRAZY! I would NEVER have my baby in bed, or wear him all day in a sling, or breast-feed for more than a year! I felt very smug, like those people were just too "soft" or weird, or hippie-dippie, that you totally didn't need to do all that, just look at my son! He's doing great, without any of that stuff!

Flash forward four years, and my second son is born. Same parents, same techniques should work, right? The first few weeks were great, no colic! So we thought it would be a breeze, after all, we were experienced parents, we knew what we were doing this time, we'd done it all before. Well, I quickly found out that what worked for my first son just wasn't going to fly with my second. I got out my old "what to expect" books, and "The Baby Whisperer" which I'd found so helpful the first time. They were useless. This stuff just wasn't working with baby 2! He's a very different kid. After totally railing on attachment parenting for four years, I suddenly found myself doing it by default. Then my cousin gave me her copy of "The baby Book", and thank god! I suddenly realized that that's what this baby needed. He needs to be held all the time, needs to sleep near me (at first in a co-sleeper right next to my bed, now in his crib two feet from my bed, and usually at least for part of the night right in my bed) At 9 months old, he still wakes every 3 hrs to breast-feed, and gives no signs of wanting to stop. This book made sense, it seemed logical and really struck a chord with me. More importantly, it worked. Had I tried to follow the advice in the other books, I know we'd all be a lot worse off!

Do I do everything the book says and treat it as gospel? NO! DO I feel guilty when I don't agree with the book? NO! Am I tired? YES! Do I wish my son would sleep through the night? YES! But I know that letting him "cry it out" won't work, and forcing him to be independent too soon won't work either. I also now know that not all techniques work for all babies, and some babies just need MORE. I take the advice that works for me, tweak the other stuff to make it fit, and above all, trust myself to know what is best for my baby AND myself.

While the Drs. Sears do advocate the mother's role over the father's, and strongly indicate she should not work, (which I can see might be off-putting to some) don't be so quick to assume it is biased or old-fashioned. While I completely support women being able work (something they couldn't have done 50 yrs ago) and think that for some women it's the right choice, the biological fact is that (for now anyway), women are the only ones who can physically bear children, and as such have also have the inherent ability to know how to care for them. For me the biggest point this book makes is that maternal instincts are REAL, and there for a good reason, and should be listened to over what anyone (even themselves) says in a book. Babies are only babies for a short time, and their needs are real and deserve to be met. They are not something that should be forced into what is convienient for parents. Everything they suggest in their book is natural and makes logical (if not always practical) sense.

Sadly, our society these days seems to be out of touch with these basic facts, and I think that the people who criticize the Sears' ideas and "attachment parenting" concept (myself included back then) are doing so as a defense mechanism, because deep down we know, under all the women's lib and equal opportunity fathering, that it really is the ideal way to parent. The fact so many people who gave it poor reviews because it made them feel "guilty" should speak volumes to this. Also, if you look at our country's family leave plans, you'll find them shockingly shorter than just about every other first-world country. The same goes for supporting mothers who do choose to be full-time moms. Or stay-at-home dads, for that matter. With work being a more than full-time job for just about everyone these days, and a society that increasingly places little value on family time (check our gov't holidays and average vacation times and work hours next to Europe's and you'll see what I mean) I know that to many this book might seem totally impractical or even ridiculous. But maybe instead condeming it as such, we should recognize it as an ideal to strive for, and do what we can to be better parents, not at the total expense of ourselves, of course, but fully realizing that parenting IS a sacrifice, that our babies and young children count on us to care for them, and despite the pressures of society and work, we need to find a way to make it a real priority, and not an after-thought. This book can help steer you in the right direction, and give you a lot to think about beyond just the valuable info on basic baby care and milestones, by providing a philosophy and practice that gets back to the real root of what it means to be a parent.

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Good Reference Book from Attachment Parenting Perspective

I checked this book out of library when my first child was a baby. I now use AskDrSears.com website. This book is very comprehensive and a good reference book from attachment parenting perspective. I would also recommend to read about other perspectives.

If you need to go back to work then you may find that some ideas are not practical, but overall it is a good book. It talks a lot about breastfeeding, carrying your baby in a sling and co-sleeping. Sears don't tell you that you are a bad parent if you are not following all the ideas, they tell you to find what is best for your baby AND you. If offends you or makes you feel guilty to hear a lot about attachment parenting, then this book may not be for you.

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My reference bible for the first year!

The has been our go-to reference in the first year of our daughter's life. My natural instincts told me that the "cry it out" method was not for me, and this book was very affirming. The beauty of Dr. Sears is that he approaches childrearing from a holistic perspective - find what's best for you and works for your family. And don't worry about what anyone else says! In 12 months, we have lost maybe a total of 10 hours of sleep following the advice in this book - and that's after our baby was (mis)diagnosed with colic at 2 months. We have a happy, healthy, baby who rarely cries, and is a great sleeper and great eater. I recommend it to all my friends who are having children.

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reviews: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, page 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15

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