Positive Discipline Requires Adults to Think Before They Act

books:


	• The Pocket Parent Gail Reichlin, Caroline Winkler Workman Publishing Company, 2001 - 379 pages average customer review:based on 57 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Supportive Trouble-Shooting Guide for 2,3,4,and 5 Year Olds

This A-Z quick read parenting book, focusing solely on toddler/preschooler behavior, has restored my sanity time after time by reminding me that in order to change my child's behavior, I will have to change mine first.

I learned that it is not just WHAT you say to the child but HOW you chose to say it that can bring you the cooperation you are looking for.

THE POCKET PARENT gives moms and dads hundreds of positive discipline techniques to choose from as to how to handle whining, biting, hitting, tantrums, sibling fights, disrespectful attitude, meal and bedtime refusals, bad words, morning crazies, potty training, parent deafness, interrupting, not picking up the toys and much more.

I love the fact that the subjects are in an alphabetical arrangement and that each behavior topic stands alone... Actually each bulleted suggestion stands alone. You do not have to read the entire book to get a tip and some humor to make your day a little less stressful.

The short anecdotes are fun to read and very familiar! They help me know for sure that I am not alone in the challanges I face daily. That is very comforting!

Although there are a variety of A-Z behavior compendiums for sale, this is the ONLY one that is written just for this age group (2-6 year olds) on every annoying behavior you can think of.

Detailed, upbeat, parent friendly text that does not preach. The book is loaded with techniques that really work...at least once!

The Pocket Parent suggest that you choose your battles carefully. The authors, mothers themselves, emphasize that you can not fight them all. They say take a breath and ask yourself, "Is this really going to matter an hour from now, a day from now, a week from now."

THE ANNOTATED PICTURE BOOK LIST ORGANIZED BY BEHAVIOR TOPIC (including over 100 books) IS WORTH THE PRICE OF THE BOOK ALL BY ITSELF!

VERY REASONABLY PRICED FOR SO MUCH HELPFUL, EASY ACCESS INFORMATION!

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Handy A-Z Parenting Guide for 2-6 year olds

This small book (with almost 400 pages) is a treasure chest filled with wonderful, short anecdotes and helpful advice for parents, teachers and childcare professionals regarding children ages 2-6.

Dozens of challenging issues are handled with compassion and humor while offering hundreds of practical suggestions.

I especially enjoyed the "Take Heart" section of every chapter, which always starts with, "You're not the only parent who..."

Every parent can use some reassurance and helpful advice when raising toddlers, and the "Pocket Parent" provides both in a quick-read bulleted format.

Included are such topics as Anger, Bad Words, Biting, Sibling Fights, Hitting, Tantrums, Potty Training, Bedtime and Mealtime Refusals, Morning Crazies, the Gimmes, Lying, Separation Anxiety, Interrupting, Whining and many more.

SOUND POSITIVE OPTIONS TO CHOOSE FROM INSTEAD OF YELLING, BRIBING, THREATENING, CRITICIZING and PUNISHING YOUR CHILDREN...KEEP HANDY FOR QUICK REFERRAL WHEN YOUR WANTING YOUR SANITY BACK!! UPLIFTING, COMMONSENSE AND CLEVER SUGGESTIONS... AND VERY PARENT FRIENDLY!!

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The Pocket Parent

Handy book with quick references to different problem areas on how to deal with your "strong willed" child.

Positive Discipline Requires Adults to Think Before They Act

I totally agree with the internationally recognized and respected author of "The Difficult Child", Dr Stanley Turecki, regarding his endorsement on the back of this very easy to read discipline guide...that "The Pocket Parent" is not only filled with hundreds of practical specific strategies to try immediately in the heat of the moment, but that the authors offer "depth" towards long term understanding regarding "the why's" of children's behavior problems and how to solve them.

Before I read this book, I thought that punishment on the spot was the only way you stay "in charge" as an adult while getting children to pay their dues for their bad behavior....and it wasn't working most of the time with my 3 and 6 year old sons. In fact, when I tried the Supernanny's technique of placing my tantruming toddler on "The Naughty Stool" I did not get any remorse at all from the child but instead I got only revenge and resentment (I couldn't even get my sreaming, punching, arched-back toddler to bend at the waist to sit on the chair at all for the prescribed 3 minutes!) I felt like my son won and I was a failure as the disciplinarian... and I am NOT a wimpy, permissive parent.

"The Pocket Parent" makes so much sense. It does NOT suggest parents "give in" to their children...although it does suggest that we have to choose our battles. I was aware that I can't fight them all in the heat of the moment, but with the guidance of this book, I realized that does not mean that we should forget to address the lesson of the situation later. "Pocket Parent" teaches that discipline is a PROCESS and parents and other childcare professionals have many daily opportunities to discipline (defined as TEACHING not punishing) both in the heat of the moment (to stop the undesirable or dangerous behavior) and then OUTSIDE the heat of the moment to CONTINUE teaching the lesson again and again, including making a plan for success (often with the input of the child) to avoid the same misbehavior from happening in a similar situation. I learned that many of the most "teachable discipline moments" occur when the adult and the child are calm and able to communicate...talk AND listen to each other more effectively.

For example, as suggested in this book, I found that by taking a few minutes BEFORE we leave our house to PRACTICE the proper manners I'm after when we get to my neighbor's, I got the cooperation. We practiced specifically 2 things... 1) the words we use to respectfully greet adults and other children and 2) how my son could politely get my attention without any words (like screaming "excuse me" repeatedly while pounding on my hip)...just by using a signal we agreed upon and practiced (also from the book)...in this case, gently pulling on my little finger to get the attention that he needed to tell me something important as soon as I stopped talking to the other mommy (he decided which hand he would use). Prioritizing the time to make "a plan for success" was the most helpful positive discipline technique I learned from this book. And it is something you can do outside the heat of the moment of a misbehavior.

The second most important strategy I learned is that we as caring, well-meaning parents and caregivers tend to tell children too often what they can't do and not enough of the time what they CAN do. This bit of advice has also made an amazing difference in gaining cooperation from my children.

IF YOU WISH TO RAISE A CHILD WHO WILL (OVER TIME) LEARN HOW TO CONTROL HIS OWN IMPULSES BECAUSE HE HIMSELF WANTS TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT, IS ABLE TO NEGOTIATE AND SOLVE POBLEMS, AND HAS DEVELOPED EMPATHY FOR OTHERS, THIS BOOK IS A MUST...SENSIBLE ADVICE THAT LAYS THE FOUNDATION IN THE EARLY YEARS TOWARDS EFFECTIVE, CARING COMMUNICATION BETWEEN ADULT AND CHILD WHICH IS THE KEY TO SOLVING ALL PROBLEMS AND BECOMING A SENSTATIVE, EMPATHETIC HUMAN BEING.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR PARENTS OR CHILDCARE PROFESSIONALS WHO DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE ENERGY AND TIME NECESSARY TO CHANGE THEIR BEHAVIOR FIRST IN ORDER TO GET A CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR OF THE CHILD...POSITIVE DISCIPLINE DOES TAKE THOUGHT AND DETERMINATION ON THE PART OF THE ADULT WHILE MAINTAINING THE DIGNITY OF ALL INVOLVED...WELL WORTH THE EFFORT IN OUR HOUSE!

WE ARE PLEASED THAT WE ARE GETTING MORE COOPERATION WITHOUT RESORTING TO SOME MORE AUTOMATIC TACTICS SUCH AS FEAR, GUILT, AND HUMILIATION WHICH CAN ALSO BRING ADULTS COMPLIANCE FROM THE CHILDREN.

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reviews: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, page 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

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