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• Three Little Words: A Memoir
Ashley Rhodes-Courter

Atheneum, 2008 - 320 pages

average customer review:based on 32 reviews
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   highly recommended  highly recommended






Lost in the shuffle

Yesterday, my laundry hamper was full to overflowing demanding attention as I opened this book. I had seen the author on Good Morning America, and this seemed like an interesting story.

As I started to read thoughts of laundry disappeared, as I was riveted by this compelling story, of a little who just wanted to be loved by her mother, or a family.

I could not put this book down until I finished.

It was like I was there looking on as she went through these various ordeals/ adventures.

If you are considering adopting or fostering a child, this book is a must. As you read, you will understand what these children have to go through. That understanding brings compassion. You will also understand what would be parents go through because both sides of the story are told effectively.

If you work in childcare services, this ought to be required reading.

If you are like me, this is an inspiring story about surviving and succeeding against the odds. You may notice this story has a mythical quality, reminiscent of other stories like Oliver Twist, a Roald Dahl story, or even Anne of Green Gables or Harry Potter which the author refers to, except this is for real.

It is shocking to me how a system which is designed to protect children, can fail so miserably at times. How is it possible for a home that is only licensed to have two children end up with 10. How come foster children end up living in a trailer? The children do not have a voice that is heard.

I particularly commend Gay Courter her adoptive mother who also persisted against the odds, where some adoptive parents would have given up. She ended up with a remarkable child who has written a remarkable book, who I feel sure will continue to be a voice for foster children, and orphans.

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this book give a compelling story about a little girl's tragic life

This book gave me inspiration to be thankful of what I have Ashley had only a baby brother who she hardly saw and a few dresses and three or four dolls, her mom and dad got arrested and now she moves between foster homes she went up to eight foster homes in less than three years.

-ezra baccar









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Three little words...with a lot of power behind them

Although I generally like memoirs, too often I get bogged down in boring minutiae of dysfunctional families. This one was different. I was surprised to find I couldn't put it down.

Rhodes-Courter can write. She vividly describes her years in foster care, being totally honest about herself and the families who were paid to care for her. Mercifully, she knows just how far to go before reader fatigue sets in, and she knows exactly where to stop to leave us disturbed but not overwhelmed.

Anyone who read the author's New York Times piece knows the happy ending: Rhodes-Courter was adopted by a loving family that was uniquely qualified to appreciate her gifts and help her grow as a writer and speaker. As a bonus, she gained two older brothers (they look like teddy bear types) and a houseful of cats.

But we're made to realize there was no fairy tale magic. Ashley Rhodes arrived in the Courter family as a scared, suspicious kid. She didn't know how to hug and she was a picky eater who would drive most people mad. She tested her family over and over again.

Gradually, she became a real family member. Her new brothers teased her when she avoided helping with the dishes ("Hey, are you a guest?") Her mother went along with the food fuss. Her dad was, well, a dad. And she admits she came to realize just how lucky she was,

In what may be the most powerful part of the book, Rhodes-Courter asks a very good question. Why do states pay a fortune for foster care instead of subsidizing the birth parents? What would have happened if her own mother had been given money and support to keep her own children? And why does the state ignore reports of abuse in a foster home yet whisk children away from their own parents at the slightest hint of a problem?


Just stay away from this book if you're on deadline. It sucks you in.




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A Tale of Triumph!

I had the privilege of hearing Ashley Rhodes-Courter, the 22-year-old author, speak at an event for Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) of Lake County, Illinois in November 2007 and was so impressed with her wit, intelligence and passion for speaking on behalf of children in the foster care system that I had to get her book to read her whole story. And what a story! What she has endured in her past is an all too familiar tale for those of us who work within the foster care system, but it is heartening to believe that not only can children survive, they can thrive when given the chance. If each of us can reach inside and find just a little bit to give to help these children, what amazing results can happen. Ashley shows us that a kind word, patience, attention, and education all make an amazing difference to a child. She gives us hope for the future of our world -- and her book should be required reading for all adults, especially those charged with caring for our children.






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I couldn't put it down... I needed to know what happened to her!

This was a wonderfully simple book about a beautifully strong soul. I absolutely fell in love with Ashley within the first few words of the book. I admire her honesty about things, as they give outsiders real insight into what it is like to live as a foster child. The book was so intriguing that I simply couldn't put it down and finished it in only 3 evenings.

I am a social worker and tremendously thank Ashley for helping me see the incredible impact my work has on individual lives, not just "cases."


reviews: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, page 6, 7



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