At last a book that expresses the Joy and the Drain of Church

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	• Leaving Church: A Memoir of Faith Barbara Brown Taylor HarperOne, 2007 - 272 pages average customer review:based on 79 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

A very important book for clergy in the modern church

Taylor showed real courage in writing this book. She presented her personal story in a way that could help many clergy facing the same predicament. Not all clergy would choose her path of leaving parish ministry, nor does she recommend they do. This is not a condemnation of the current church at all, rather it is one poignant story of a priest that has dealt with the pressure so many experience of serving a congregation. Thankfully, Taylor only left local chruch, not the greater church. In this book she offers artful wisdom to a far to common condition.

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episcopal priest leaves church to save faith

Most Christians devoted to parish ministry like Barbara Brown Taylor discover at some point in their lives the perilous interface between one's personal identity and the professional institution of the church which they serve. Often this interface brings a deep sense of satisfaction and fulfillment, but at other times it becomes a flash point for crisis. In the words of the Benedictine nun Joan Chittister, given the grace of experiencing the faults and failures of both myself and the church, how do I remain a "loyal member of a dysfunctional family?"

After ministering for nine years on the staff of a large Episcopal church in urban Atlanta, where she had lived half of her adult life, Taylor moved to Clarkesville in northeast Georgia, a town of 1,500 people and two stoplights. The prospect of serving Grace-Calvary Episcopal with its tiny sanctuary that seated 85 people was a dream come true for her, or so she thought. Her passion and competence spelled success, and after five years the church had expanded to four Sunday services. In the process she nearly lost her soul, and so she resigned, left church, and took an endowed chair of religion at nearby Piedmont College.

Taylor's memoir reads like an account of classic burnout--an exaggerated sense of self-importance, her "staggering" sense of ownership, a deep need to help others, a relentless work ethic, self-pity, a "heroic image of myself [and] a huge appetite for approval." All these led to a meltdown of bitterness, loneliness, uncontrollable tears, and resentment. "My role and my soul were eating each other alive," she writes. In addition to describing her personal issues that contributed to her crisis, Taylor also reflects on the church as an institution. Here too we discover familiar if frustrating experiences. While Jesus prayed for a kingdom of God, what we got was an imperfect church. The church guards its "center" and often persecutes those on the "edges." Rigid belief enforced by "jurists" marginalizes the "poets" who would rather "behold."

Taylor structures her narrative around the themes of finding, losing, and keeping. She discovered that what she really wanted was to become merely but fully human. She lost her parish job but gained Sabbath rest. She lost her professional identity but gained a far broader and deeper identification with all of humanity. Most important of all, she discovered a spirituality of imperfection in which "spiritual poverty is central to the Christ path." As this is what she calls a "love story" and a "memoir of faith," her candid narrative reminded me of the wise words of Erasmus who, after failing at rapprochement with Luther, returned to the Catholic church with all its imperfections. "I will put up with this church until it becomes a better church," said Erasmus, "and it must put up with me until I become a better person."

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At last a book that expresses the Joy and the Drain of Church

In the opening quotation to her book, Leaving Church: A Memoir of Faith, Barbara Brown Taylor shares these words from William Faulkner, "The only thing worth writing about is the human heart, in conflict with itself." With those prescient words, Taylor invites us to a deeply personal and moving story of her own journey of the heart, in particular her journey as a person of faith, called to minister in Christ's church. While the title may suggest a volume filled with anger or hostility toward the church, instead the reader is treated to a Valentine for faith, complete with the twists and turns of every powerful love story. For Barbara Brown Taylor is like so many of us in her relationship with the church -- one that is both deeply satisfying and life-giving and also taxing and draining at the same time. What makes her different is her ability to articulate the nuanced relationships of life and faith in God in ways most of us cannot.

From her childhood experiences of the divine through her years as one of America's most celebrated preachers, Ms. Taylor shares the inner world of a person seeking to be faithful to God's call while also seeking to live fully and authentically in God's dynamic creation. The prose is delightful and the emotion rings as sincere and deeply human.

Whether you find yourself at a crossroads of faith or simply hoping to gain compassion for those who are, this is a book to cherish. I forced myself to read it slowly, a chapter at a time, in order that it would last longer and feed me more slowly. In the last section of the book, Ms. Taylor observes this, "I may have left the house, but I have not left the relationship. After twenty years of serving Mother Church at the altar, I have pitched my tent in the yard, using much of what she taught me to make a way in the world."

Asked to speak to a church group on one occasion, the host asked Rev. Taylor, "Tell us what is saving your life now." She goes on to answer, pointing out that the beauty and depth of the question resonates with both a knowing and the recognition that we are changing all the time, as is our relationship with God and God's creation.

If you enjoy wonderful writing and themes of living in the tension of faith, you will simply love this book!

Bill Roseen, Atlanta GA
www.bigrockcoaching.com

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Honset, moving story of a personal journey

In "Leaving Church," Barbara Brown Taylor chronicles her journey to the priesthood, her journey to a more rural church and finally her journey away from the church altogether. This, Taylor explains, was her journey to find meaning in the world--to better understand her relationship with God and, she says, to become more fully human. It's a story of the opening of her heart--how she learns to question the establishment while still loving it at its core. In discovering her own insecurity, insignificance and inability, in yearning for direction, Taylor opens her eyes to God in everything and realizes the power of God in everyday life. She finds meaning in her suffering and pain and, in the end, discovers that she made the right decision. Along the way, she also provides valuable insights about the Church today--the great things and the things that should improve. Taylor has written a tremendous book, immensely readable, about her journey that anyone desiring meaning or help for the search should read.

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A Moving and Honest Look At Ministry And Faith

I'm going to admit that when I select a ministry related book such as LEAVING CHURCH, I usually expect that the writer will tell a story about what leads to the pulpit, not what takes a person away. In LEAVING CHURCH, we find the opposite happening: Barbara Brown Taylor decides to give up parish ministry even though she seems to be effective and doing a wonderful job. I guess I decided to read it because I wanted to see how it would enfold. What I found was an interesting tale of faith that is both church related and personal. The fact that she seems to be following the movement of the Spirit in her life makes the book interesting and for this reason she has a great deal to say about the life of faith in general.

I think it could be argued that the title LEAVING CHURCH may be a bit misleading. She does not go from a life of faith to a life of no faith. From my reading of the book Taylor leaves parish ministry but from my point of view is still involved in ministry as a teacher and guest preacher. She leaves the pulpit in favor of the classroom but the call to both seems to be similar. If church is supposed to mean people of God, I'll agree that she leaves the edifice of a church building but she never abandons Church as in God's people.

For me, the book's greatest contribution is that it gives an honest look at the life of a person in ordained ministry. Few people who are not ordained ministers can understand what it means to be so intimately involved in people's lives in their greatest and worst moments. It is a privileged position and Taylor appreciates the opportunity. Likewise people who are not in ordained ministry do not always understand the expectations people have and how wearing a clerical collar does change the way the world looks at you. Taylor portrays accurately the strengths and pitfalls of both the role clergy people play in the lives of others as well as how taxing it can be. She's also very honest about how challenging the transition was as she went from being a priest at Grace Calvary Church to being just a member of the local community.

As a person in active ministry, I found much of the book very insightful. In Barbara Brown Taylor we see an Episcopal priest who did care for her congregation and took their spiritual needs as well as her own seriously. When we hear her say she had a hard time as a guest preacher in a congregation she didn't love because she didn't known them, we know that she did love her parishioners and recall the importance of love in her ministry. We also see that she is not in ministry for her own edification and ego. When she began having opinions that differed with her church's positions and the opinions of many of her congregants, she decided it was time to leave ministry. Too many do not have this insight and the result is a divided and alienated congregation. Her dedication cannot be questioned. However, there was something significant missing, at least for me. I think I would have enjoyed another fifty or so pages with tales about teaching and how she found God in the classroom. We are given a few glimpses of this, but it is summary form rather than the detailed prose of her ministry at Grace Calvary. Still, it's a great read for anyone in active ministry and offers some wonderful thoughts for people in transition too.

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