These people know what they are talking about....

books:


	• Siblings Without Rivalry/How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish Quill, 1988 - 219 pages average customer review:based on 68 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

These people know what they are talking about....

This book is extraordinary. The writing pulls you in because of the humble nature of the author. After reading it, there is no doubt they know what they are talking about and it's not because of their credentials per say. It's spells out everything so clearly that there is no denying the issues. The big thing to know about this book is there are REAL specific tips and rules for communicating and dealing with situations. It is very well organized. And, there is more information than "How to talk to your kids..." I wondered if I should read both - sure enough, you do need both. I'm grateful for this book.

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as an only child...

...this book really helped me not only feel more prepared to handle my two kids, but also helped me understand some of the dynamics in my husband's family.

It builds on the active listening skills I am trying to master from their "how to talk.." book, plus other books like Parent effectiveness Training that promote a more sensative, less punishing approach to parenting.

The format is great, the comics really summarize the points of each chapter well and I want to photocopy them to have them handy.

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Practical and useful

This is a very useful book in dealing with sibling rivalry on a day by day basis.

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A very impressive book...

In a nutshell, this book is outstanding because it adds to the general field of knowledge about parenting. As a therapist, I have received parenting skills training from a number of books and programs.

However, I realized from reading this book that most of parenting skills are taught from a standpoint of "one child at a time." This is great, but it is often impractical in real life, as many families have more than one child.

There are a couple of reasons I would recommend this book. The first is that it is probably the easiest to read book I have read regarding a complicated topic in a LONG time. It is told almost in story format, as the author is teaching a group on sibling rivalry. The "class members" (a conglomerate of the author's workshop experiences) provide stories and bring up concerns that any parent might have. There are also valuable summary sheets and comic strips that illustrate the principles being discussed.

The other reason why I would recommend this book is that it will add to your general body of knowledge about sibling relationships and will help you to see them in a new way. It talks about the myth of equality, and the dangers of comparison and roles. You won't regret the information that this book provides.

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A good book with good material

I bought this book a couple of months after we brought home our newly adopted son from Russia and the rivalry and fighting looked to become a huge problem... a never-ending battle between our only-slightly-older son and his new brother.

Over time both adjusted and now we have just run-of-the-mill rivalry and occasional jealousy, something that is manageable. But those first weeks and months were awful.

This book is nicely written and reasonably well organized. It's a quick read and provides a lot of useful ideas for how to defuse and ultimately avoid situations. Much of it is common sense or "frame shifting" (putting you into the child's situation through their eyes). I found some of the strategies useful and others not applicable, which is what you'd expect.

The downside of this book is that it is a bit on the frothy side, a bit simplistic and stagey. Some of the examples and true-life type stories go from one extreme to a too-good-to-be-true resolution "a week later". Some of the divisions in the book struck me as artificial.

Nonetheless this book is the standard for many parent dealing with this kind of problem for good reason. It is a useful reference, gets you to think about managing the situations better and gives you some tools to work with. Well recommended.

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reviews: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, page 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

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