These people know what they are talking about....

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	• Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish Collins Living, 1998 - 272 pages average customer review:based on 69 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

A very impressive book...

In a nutshell, this book is outstanding because it adds to the general field of knowledge about parenting. As a therapist, I have received parenting skills training from a number of books and programs.

However, I realized from reading this book that most of parenting skills are taught from a standpoint of "one child at a time." This is great, but it is often impractical in real life, as many families have more than one child.

There are a couple of reasons I would recommend this book. The first is that it is probably the easiest to read book I have read regarding a complicated topic in a LONG time. It is told almost in story format, as the author is teaching a group on sibling rivalry. The "class members" (a conglomerate of the author's workshop experiences) provide stories and bring up concerns that any parent might have. There are also valuable summary sheets and comic strips that illustrate the principles being discussed.

The other reason why I would recommend this book is that it will add to your general body of knowledge about sibling relationships and will help you to see them in a new way. It talks about the myth of equality, and the dangers of comparison and roles. You won't regret the information that this book provides.

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Simple steps to use

I just read this book and have put it on my husbands nightstand to read (that way we are both on the same page). It took me about 3 days to read (I have 2 small children so reading is a nightime ocurrance) and I have already implemented quite a few strategies. My husband has taken my lead and even though he hasn't read the book he too has used some of the ideas. The results have been great. Our kids (3 and 8) are pretty good together and in that area we are blessed but there are moments that the ideas in this book have been great diffusers. Just acknowleging the boys and their feelings has stopped situations from escalating and it allows us to stay out of the discussion and stay impartial. The biggest thing for me is...I have learned to pause before responding because I want to think about the impact of what I want to say and how it may affect my child. Just reading the book and seeing the childs point of view and that of the other participants in the book has given me such a greater understanding of how my words can stay with my child for a lifetime.

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as an only child...

...this book really helped me not only feel more prepared to handle my two kids, but also helped me understand some of the dynamics in my husband's family.

It builds on the active listening skills I am trying to master from their "how to talk.." book, plus other books like Parent effectiveness Training that promote a more sensative, less punishing approach to parenting.

The format is great, the comics really summarize the points of each chapter well and I want to photocopy them to have them handy.

Practical and useful

This is a very useful book in dealing with sibling rivalry on a day by day basis.

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These people know what they are talking about....

This book is extraordinary. The writing pulls you in because of the humble nature of the author. After reading it, there is no doubt they know what they are talking about and it's not because of their credentials per say. It's spells out everything so clearly that there is no denying the issues. The big thing to know about this book is there are REAL specific tips and rules for communicating and dealing with situations. It is very well organized. And, there is more information than "How to talk to your kids..." I wondered if I should read both - sure enough, you do need both. I'm grateful for this book.

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reviews: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, page 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

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