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• Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls
Mary Pipher

Riverhead Trade, 2005 - 304 pages

average customer review:based on 318 reviews
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   highly recommended  highly recommended






Indepth and Insightful

I felt this to be an interesting read as a way of helping to improve myself and the way I feel society puts expectations onto me. In passing, a philosophy teacher said that he recommended every woman read this book, so I did. I did find many explanations as to why I acted the way I did while I was growing up. My poor parents were just completely at a loss dealing with my apparent moodiness and behavior problems.

This book is relevant to our young women and their parents. In a culture where we are trying to understand what is wrong with everyone, this helps people see that maybe it's the large mass of people that is wrong, not the individuals themselves. Our young women are starving, unhappy, and losing their identies because we, as a male driven society, expect them to become just another housewife, or a face in the crowd. If even a few young men were required to read this book perhaps they would be slightly more sympathetic to their sisters, mothers or lovers. This could lead more young men to actually care about their partners wants, needs and desires regarding the direction they want their lives to take.

It should not always be an expectation that women are meant for the servitude of men. I believe this lets in some light to people who are in the dark regarding women's issues. It reminded me of my reading of the "Feminine Mystique" because of the repitition of the question "Who am I?" Pipher proposes that young girls know what their dreams are but somehow lose it in order to maintain popularity and fit in to the "young lady" standards. I really would recommend this to any woman who is tired of feeling insufficient or questioning their reason for being.

Parents of any teen aged or preteen girl should read this because they could see their precious daughters point of view on various issues. My parents are currently working on reading the book together because I told them that it would explain a lot of what I was going through on levels they weren't able to understand. Thank goodness, I was their first and last daughter to go through the dreaded "teen age" years! They are still coping with my brother and are praying for it to be over soon.


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Reviving Ophelia & My Experiences

I opened Reviving Ophelia with an open mind. As a 17-year old high school junior, I am usually turned off by books that my mother and teacher enjoy. This one, however, was much different. Immediately, I was pulled into the book. Maybe it was because I realized that I am one of the girls Pipher is talking about; I am Ophelia. I doubt if I was a boy or even a father I would be very interested, but because it pertained to me directly I was pulled into the reading. I could relate to each and every one of the "characters" in one way or another. I felt for these girls and their problems, and each and every one of them contributed to the book. I don't think I've ever read a book before and was able to just say "Yes! I know exactly what you are talking about!" It's nice to know that there are actual studies done on teenagers; that someone would think to take the time to figure out what it is with teenagers (girls in particular) that make us the way we are. Mary Pipher's main thesis is practically the life of every teenage girl out there, including myself. It makes me realize that as a young teenage girl, I am not alone. By reading this book, I have learned that society just expects boys to be able to handle more on their own and be more independent than girls. That is just an assumption made by many. As to if it's true or not, I couldn't say because I am not a boy, I have no brothers, and I have never read a book about the lifestyle of a teenage boy. A lot of girls today no longer have the support behind them telling them 'You are not alone'. The author's tone was very sympathetic and understanding to the girls, and she told each story with a personal glimpse behind it. It's almost as if Mary Pipher had known each and every one of those girls for years. Each tale of the unique girls had a conflict and resolution. Throughout the last third of the book, a lot of the girls' problems had to do with their relationships with others. Boyfriends, moms, dads, and siblings were all common topics. Some of the girls that I read about were so interesting that I wish I could read more about them. Mary Pipher has established a theme that growing up as an adolescent girl is not easy. It's challenging, confusing, scary, and exciting all at the same time. Adults sit back and watch us run and fall, and they have to step back and let us get up on our own. We won't learn anything by not falling, but there comes a point when the last time you fall and you feel as though you are never going to make it back up, an adult is needed to lend that hand and pick us back up. Pipher calls it "girl-poisoning". Girls are pushed to be someone they aren't; do things they don't want to do; and be happy doing it. There is media, sexism, feminism, and raging hormones that are everywhere. Throughout this book, these girls' tales have been completely real and un-cut. They tell it how it is, and then Pipher explains the psychological aspects behind what they feel and think.
One of my favorite phrases in the book was, "Ophelia died because she could not grow. She became the object of others' lives and lost her true subjective self." (Pipher 292) Ophelia is from Shakespeare's Hamlet. In Hamlet, she is a free and happy child who loses herself at adolescence. When she falls in love with Hamlet, her only objective in life becomes living for his approval. Torn apart by her efforts to please both her Hamlet and her parents, she loses the fight when Hamlet rejects her for being a compliant daughter. Beset by grief, and without any inner direction, Ophelia drowns in a creek, weighed down by her heavy and elegant clothes. Pipher uses the title Reviving Ophelia in reference to bringing back what died inside Ophelia- that adolescence innocence. Is it really possible to bring back a self that you lost? And if you did bring back that self, would it be the same thing? Mary Pipher is posing the question, What can we as a society do to help adolescent girls grow without losing their self? Maybe if we all read Reviving Ophelia, answering Pipher's question would be that much easier.




 for more information click here









 for more information click here


Reviving Ophelia & My Experiences

I opened Reviving Ophelia with an open mind. As a 17-year old high school junior, I am usually turned off by books that my mother and teacher enjoy. This one, however, was much different. Immediately, I was pulled into the book. Maybe it was because I realized that I am one of the girls Pipher is talking about; I am Ophelia. I doubt if I was a boy or even a father I would be very interested, but because it pertained to me directly I was pulled into the reading. I could relate to each and every one of the "characters" in one way or another. I felt for these girls and their problems, and each and every one of them contributed to the book. I don?t think I?ve ever read a book before and was able to just say "Yes! I know exactly what you are talking about!" It?s nice to know that there are actual studies done on teenagers; that someone would think to take the time to figure out what it is with teenagers (girls in particular) that make us the way we are. Mary Pipher?s main thesis is practically the life of everything teenage girl out there, including myself. It makes me realize that as a young teenage girl, I am not alone. By reading this book, I have learned that society just expects boys to be able to handle more on their own and be more independent than girls. That is just an assumption made by many. As to if it?s true or not, I couldn?t say because I am not a boy, I have no brothers, and I have never read a book about the lifestyle of a teenage boy. A lot of girls today no longer have the support behind them telling them ?You are not alone?. The author?s tone was very sympathetic and understanding to the girls, and she told each story with a personal glimpse behind it. It?s almost as if Mary Pipher had known each and every one of those girls for years. Each tale of the unique girls had a conflict and resolution. Throughout the last third of the book, a lot of the girls? problems had to do with their relationships with others. Boyfriends, moms, dads, and siblings were all common topics. Some of the girls that I read about were so interesting that I wish I could read more about them. Mary Pipher has established a theme that growing up as an adolescent girl is not easy. It?s challenging, confusing, scary, and exciting all at the same time. Adults sit back and watch us run and fall, and they have to step back and let us get up on our own. We won?t learn anything by not falling, but there comes a point when the last time you fall and you feel as though you are never going to make it back up, an adult is needed to lend that hand and pick us back up. Pipher calls it "girl-poisoning". Girls are pushed to be someone they aren?t; do things they don?t want to do; and be happy doing it. There is media, sexism, feminism, and raging hormones that are everywhere. Throughout this book, these girls? tales have been completely real and un-cut. They tell it how it is, and then Pipher explains the psychological aspects behind what they feel and think.
One of my favorite phrases in the book was, "Ophelia died because she could not grow. She became the object of others? lives and lost her true subjective self." (Pipher 292) Ophelia is from Shakespeare's Hamlet. In Hamlet, she is a free and happy child who loses herself at adolescence. When she falls in love with Hamlet, her only objective in life becomes living for his approval. Torn apart by her efforts to please both her Hamlet and her parents, she loses the fight when Hamlet rejects her for being a compliant daughter. Beset by grief, and without any inner direction, Ophelia drowns in a creek, weighed down by her heavy and elegant clothes. Pipher uses the title Reviving Ophelia in reference to bringing back what died inside Ophelia- that adolescence innocence. Is it really possible to bring back a self that you lost? And if you did bring back that self, would it be the same thing? Mary Pipher is posing the question, What can we as a society do to help adolescent girls grow without losing their self? Maybe if we all read Reviving Ophelia, answering Pipher?s question would be that much easier.


 for more information click here






GREAT!

This book is excellent for trying to understand the psychological perspectives of young women. Although somewhat dated, since it was written in the mid-1990s, it is still relevant to today's teenage women and their struggle into adulthood. The author places a great emphasis on society's contributions to the problems of young women, but brings to light many of the events in the life of young women that parents might not be aware of and that are not discussed by daughters. I think that the author offers great advice and hits the nail on the head in terms of girls' reactions to trauma in their lives and to the pressures associated with coming of age in America today. Parents are often ill-equipt to handle these challenges because their lives were so different as young people and their own parents modeled behavior and relationships in ways that are no longer valid today. Parents today have to learn new skills to assist their teenagers and suffer the wrath of confused young women trying to discover themselves. It is a great book and fabulous read!


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reviews: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, page 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17



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