Through the Looking Glass of A Child Called "It"

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	• A Brother's Journey: Surviving a Childhood of Abuse Richard B. Pelzer Warner Wellness, 2006 - 272 pages average customer review:based on 45 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Emotionally Accurate.

It's about time one of David's brother stepped up to the plate and admitted the abuse occured and this book is a shining achievement. I am disgusted with anyone who could read this book and then deny the truth it expresses.
From my own personal experience of an abusive mother the pattern that both Dave and Richard describe and their responses to it are psychologically accurate.
When my father lived with us a lot of the abuse was directed at him , when he left it was all focused on me and my sister was the child who could do know wrong and she (my sister) loved to join in tormenting me. Then when I left, my sister became my replacement and suffered abuse. This is exactly the pattern that Dave and Richard describe. Richard has written a book that is very compelling. Unlike David he actually touches (all to briefly) on what was going on in his mother's head and possible motivations for her behaviour.
He suffered unbelivably horrific abuse and yet it was less than David's and this makes the book somewhat less painful than reading a child called IT because he manages to squeeze in a rare moment of pleasure here and there which David as "IT" never had a chance to do.
But it is still horrific. I think Richard is a fine writer and his bravery in admitting the abuse he inflicted on his brother at the ages of 5,6, and 7 in order to get his mother to notice him is so commedable. I doubt David blames a 5 year old for what happened. How could a 5, 6 or 7 year old possibly be expected to stand up to a mother like that. The only time Richard had praise or attention was when he collaborated in his elder brother's abuse.
The really disgusting brother was Scott who was still abusing Richard at 17.
Like David's books Richard's story is just too detailed, too surprising, too complex and has too much psychological depth to have been fabricated.
The book will grip you from begining to end but be prepared to be a little dissapointed by the ending, there is obviously another book waiting in the wings.

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Exausted and disturbed

I received this book in the mail late on Tuesday, today is Thursday and I am done with reading it, I am simply amazed at how this women behaved, I could have just snatched her by her hair and slung her, I am a maother of a very trying 14 year old boy, I can not even beging to imagine the things that she put these children through, I only wish that it had went into detail at the end of how Richards life has ended up and how he got there, from age 15. And what happened to Ross and Scott and Keith, did they too endure this pain, are they still around, what happened, I felt like I was kind of left hanging there at the end, but still a very good book. I have read all of Dave Pelzers books and am always just in awe at the behavior of this women. How he can forgive her is a huge step, I do not even know her and I feel hate and anger for her.

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Through the Looking Glass of A Child Called "It"

A Child Called "It" moved the world to appreciate the extent that child abuse can take . . . and the need to do more to stop it. Over 2 million copies of that vivid memoir have been sold. In that story, Dave Pelzer described the role his brothers were forced to play in his abuse. Younger brother Richard was a particular problem as he would tell lies about Dave that led to more beatings by their mother. But Richard would also leave food for the starving Dave.

In A Brother's Journey, Richard tells his perspective both on what happened to Dave, his guilt for his role, and how the family functioned after Dave was taken away to a foster home.

In limited ways, Richard was selected by their mother to replace Dave as the butt of her alcoholic rages. Although his abuse was horrific, it failed to be as bad as Dave's. Thank God for that.

But the interesting part of this book is the insight it provides for psychologists, social workers and the families of abused children concerning the impact of abuse on the more favored children in the family. Most books about child abuse don't get into this aspect of family life, and I found the added perspectives to be very revealing and interesting.

Naturally, no one can read this book (or A Child Called "It") without wondering how a grandmother, a father, neighbors or the school could have permitted this to go on so long.

The lesson seems to be that if you suspect even the possibility of abuse, you'd better do something. What you see is probably less than 1% of the problem.

Professionals can learn from this book the importance of on-going observation and the need to build trust in those who are suspected of being abused. The abusers will have terrified the abused with all kinds of lies to keep them quiet . . . and not seek help.

One of the most fascinating parts of this book is Richard's description of how hard it was for him to realize that he could stop his mother physically.

You will be haunted by the two occasions when Dave reaches out to Richard and the family . . . and how those turned out.

If you are looking for a story to top A Child Called "It", you will be disappointed. If you want to better understand what you learned from A Child Called "It", I strongly recommend that you read this book.

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reviews: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, page 8, 9

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