A great Guide for Parents of "spirited" kids

books:


	• Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, ... Mary Sheedy Kurcinka Harper Paperbacks, 1998 - 320 pages average customer review:based on 157 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Finally felt understood...

and then more understanding.

When I began reading this book I actually felt as if someone had been watching my firstborn son and I or eavesdropping on our conversations, or reading his baby book and my exasperated, secret, momma journals. The author could have been writing about him/us, with names changed to protect the not-so innocent. Someone else has been through this? He isn't so rare? Initially, I didn't know whether to feel horrified or relieved.

He was the newborn who cried because there really was one of my long hairs wrapped around his tiny toe (thank you Dr. Sears for mentioning that in one of your books--The Fussy Baby book, you think?-- as a possibility for inconsolable crying!)...he was the creeper who arched his back and screamed because there was a particularly stiff label inside his onesie that was itching his neck (thank goodness for the new tagless clothing!)...he was the toddler who cried to me that the (lush, Kentucky blue) grass in our front yard hurt his feet...and to this day, he will complain about the seams in his socks or lament that his sleeves don't feel the same. If I commiserate or help him fix it, he beams; if I tell him to get over it, he ruminates. I'd much rather help him on his way, to go compose a song or perform a play for me! He is much more intense-- and far more intelligent-- than any other child I have known, and this book really illuminated for me the brilliant upside of knowing a wonderfully creative and spirited child. Choosing to see my son as more perceptive and sensitive (instead of more difficult or harder to work with) has been key. He's so persistent, and now I admire that in him rather than finding it frustrating that he keeps at something even though it's frustrating!

Reading this book helped me to feel so much more normal, sane and hopeful. I had a real a-ha/duh/lightbulb moment when I realized that *I* am myself a spirited person! (No wonder I adore and abhor my son all at once!) The tips on working with my own spiritedness have been priceless. It makes sense that I would understand my son more than anyone else, and now I understand why I am at times not the best at handling his meltdowns. I feel like I now have permission to allow my son to be just who he is--not to try to change him-- and I feel allowed to be myself, too. Maybe the rest of the world really is crazy and we are in touch?!

I do wish there was at least a discussion of homeschooling as a viable option in this book, since that (and even more so, unschooling) is truly the least restrictive environment for spirited children.

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Good, but not great

It's a good book. I know I'm not alone but it lacked in offering true advice. I was left with a "what now?" feeling.

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A great Guide for Parents of "spirited" kids

If you are looking for books about your intense child, then you need this book. Even if you don't buy into it 100%, you will find a lot to inform you. When reading this book, you will recognize things about your child and this book will give you ideas of what you need to accept about your child and what you can realistically change. Mostly, it will give you the feeling that you are not alone, that you are not the only one with an intense child, that this is the way your child was made and that you are not to blame. REad this book and start to see your child in a different light.

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Great Info !!

VEry useful and easy reading for parents. I am using with parents of strong willed children.

Cause, Effect and Practical Solutions!

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka does an excellent job of providing good common sense answers to why children are spirited and practical ways of dealing with the behavior. Observation, analysis and then appropriate action are keys to dealing with this behavior.

For example, in one Section called CHECK SIMULATION Levels Kurcinka writes:

"I always tell parents in my classes that if they ever feel like they are the only parent in the world with a sensitive spirited child, they should drop everything and head for the largest, noisiest, most congested store in their area. There they will find spirited kids dropping like little bombs. Two down one isle. Three in aisle four--the candy shelf--and six in aisle seven--the toy department. At first glance it will appear that the explosions are triggered by a denial to buy a candy bar, a desire to push the cart, or some other insignificant issue. The real trigger, however, is hidden in the fluorescent lights, piped-in-music, flashing signs, colorful packages, and crush of people that create more stimulation than a sensitive child can endure, especially if his or her energy bank is low."

She goes on to write:

"As a parent of a spirited child, you have to become aware of stimulation cues and recognize the breaking point for your child. The level of stimulation that pushes her beyond her ability to cope."

Kurcinka also explores subjects such as introverted and extroverted children, how they recharge their batteries and how to handle them. Other subjects include: How to deal with tantrums, Getting along with other kids, Motivating kids to listen and much more.

Overall an exceptional book on looking at cause, effect and practical solutions for addressing spirited children. Highly recommended.

The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide to: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

The spirited child ? often called "difficult" or "strong-willed" ? can easily overwhelm parents, leaving them feeling frustrated and inadequate. Spirited kids are, in fact, simply "more" ? by temperament, they are more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, and uncomfortable with change than the average child. Through vivid examples and a refreshingly positive viewpoint, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka offers parents emotional support and proven strategies for handling their spirited child. Raising Your Spirited Child will help you:

Understand your child's ? and your own ? temperamental traits Plan for success with a simple four-step program Discover the power of positive ? rather than negative ? labels Cope with tantrums and blowups when they do occur Develop strategies for handling mealtimes, bedtimes, holidays, school and many other situations

Filled with personal insight and authoritative advice, Raising Your Spirited Child can help make parenting the joy it should be, rather than the trial it can be.

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