How painfully, yet wonderfully, enlightening this book is...

books:


	• Borrowed Time: An AIDS Memoir Paul Monette Harvest Books, 1998 - 352 pages average customer review:based on 22 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Devastating, beautiful and true

'Borrowed Time' is the most unpretentious, cliche free account of love I've read. So much of it's power lies in what Paul does not say about his lover: describing him most often as his most precious 'friend' he asks the reader to understand, to implicitly know the strength of his passion. The simple assumption that readers across cities, countries, cultures will understand his emotions is what gives the story so much beauty. I fell in love with both Paul and Roger, or more specifically, the strength of what they had together.
The battle against AIDS and discrimination faced by both men made me bawl, and I hope this book is read by people working through their prejudices and moral judgements about the both the illness and its prevalence in the gay community at the time the events occurred. Surely Paul and Roger's love can only be seen as something beautiful that graced the earth, even briefly.

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How painfully, yet wonderfully, enlightening this book is...

Although I am a conservative Christian who has never been "homophobic", I have been 100 percent guilty of "indifference" to what it really means to be gay and and the AIDS issue. Not any more. I began to research the issues and I have been telling everyone about this book. The genuine love story and respectful relationship that Paul and Roger shared is something everyone could learn from. I don't believe I have ever read a book that portrays such courage. The pain that both of these men endured would make the average person collapse under the weight. I know what the Bible says about homosexuality, but I believe that Jesus himself would just wants us stop judging and comdemning and to simply love one another as he loves us. All of us.

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If you want to know what love is

I listened to Paul Monette read from his memoir on a recorded book; and the experience was unforgettable, profound, wholly human, and perhaps the best meditation on love I've ever read. Without going into the details of the 1980's AIDS "scene," which this book also authentically and accurately portrays, this "love story" depicts and explored and revealed so tenderly and so poetically that it should be placed on all the bookstores in the relatinship section of the major chains--and recommended for straight and gay couples. And while the booksellers are at it, they should remainder all the John Gray, Dr. Phil and every other "author" who address relationships in a vapid, moronic, demeaning way. This book may be the best argument for "gay marriage," although I hesitate in recommending this in fear that such a beautiful relationship as portrayed in this work could be subsumed under such a shaky institution. It would also be a d_mn good book for heterosexual, especially "conservative Christian" couples, men and women to read together: Not necessarily to change minds about the law, but at least to change misconceived perceptions about their fellow humans. And a note to women, if you would like your guy to be a better "listener" and a better "lover," read this book--not those goofball "women's magazines." This book might also make some right-wing ideologues re-think some of their kneeejerk definitions of "values" and realize that perhaps it is their values that need some looking into, or as peanuts said, "We have met the enemy and it is us."

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Love in the time of AIDS

"I don't know if I will live to finish this," begins this memoir by Paul Monette, who would ultimately live only seven years after he did complete it (and, auspiciously, several other works). Monette's account is a chronicle of the last days of his lover Roger Horwitz in 1985 and 1986: a mere nineteen months between diagnosis and death. It's an emotionally devastating portrait; yet, far from wallowing in his grief (although grieve he does), Monette instead describes this period as a battle to extend Roger's life and a determination to seize every remaining day and make the most of it.

An AIDS diagnosis in 1985, in Los Angeles, doomed the couple to an unwanted pioneer status; it was a "death sentence" mitigated only by hope and delusion. For the first half of the decade, Paul and Roger comforted themselves with the notion that the disease, whatever it was, confined itself to a certain group of fast-living libertines ("not us") in San Francisco and Los Angeles. When the reality hit home, the initial method of coping, shared to different degrees by themselves and by their friends (and particularly by Roger's brother), was a mixture of mortification and denial.

Once Roger became ill, however, the couple fought tooth and nail to pursue every potential pharmaceutical elixir or therapeutic panacea; they were on the vanguard of trials for suramin (with devastating side effects) and for the more successful "Compound S" (AZT), which Monette credits for extending Roger's life. Throughout, they struggled to present a united front of normalcy and optimism, with Roger attempting to practice law from his hospital bed and Paul flying to New York for meetings in the Russian Tea Room with the newly famous Whoopi Goldberg about an ultimately doomed screenplay ("it must've dismayed her considerably to think that this humorless man sipping broth and Coca-Cola was meant to be her breakthrough into feature comedy").

Still, if it's possible to say that one can be "fortunate" in such circumstances, Roger and Paul had the only advantages available at the time: money, connections, and (mostly) supportive family and friends. In spite of the sequence of crises and disappointments, they somehow managed to find time to laugh and to love amidst the anger and the betrayals; Monette's wit and fair-mindedness saves this work from overwhelming the reader with morbid pity and depression. Paul and Roger were often too busy chasing hope to pause and wallow; those moments were often saved for the morning. ("Waking teaches you pain.") What's most remarkable about this book is not the riveting and livid account from the front of the epidemic--such memoirs are plentiful--but the lyrical and even humorous appreciation of the "borrowed time" remaining to these two admirable profiles in courage.

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One of the best books ever.

I don't know how this book didn't win every award the publishing world has to offer. Quite simply, this one volume is the most emotionally devastating work I've ever read. I've read about hate crimes, political assassination and Nazi persecution, but none touch this. Several times I had to set the book down because I was no longer able to read through great, racking sobs and eyes nearly swollen shut. I grieved.

Paul Monette, author of the the award winning memoir "Becoming a Man: Half a Life Story," died of AIDS not too long after losing his beloved companion Roger to the disease. That he was able to focus so much energy on chronicling the events of Roger's death in this memoir, was a mircle - and indeed this book is a miraclous gift. "Borrowed Time" is a story of pain, suffering, hope, strength and courage. However, and more importantly, it is a love story - the greatest I've ever read.

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

This "tender and lyrical" memoir (New York Times Book Review) remains one of the most compelling documents of the AIDS era-"searing, shattering, ultimately hope inspiring account of a great love story" (San Francisco Examiner). A National Book Critics Circle Award finalist and the winner of the PEN Center West literary award.

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