A must read for an only child or anyone who knows one

books:


	• Only Child: Writers on the Singular Joys and Solitary Sorrows of Growing Up Solo Three Rivers Press, 2008 - 272 pages average customer review:based on 28 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

A delightful collection

I first bought a few copies of this book to give to the only "onlies" in my life. (I'm a middle child with an older brother and younger sister, and I never really gave much thought to what life might be like without siblings.) I happened to sneak a peek, though, before giving one of the books away and, after reading just the introduction, decided to go out and get my own copy. I then read one essay each night before bed and loved the variety of voices and experiences captured in this collection. The writing is strong, the stories are poignant - they made me laugh, cry, and think about myself, my family, and other families around me. I absolutely recommend this book; it's a joy to read.

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Not just for onlies

OK, I'm not an only child, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and remembering the times I imagined myself as one. It speaks to those of us with siblings who ever looked to our only friends and thought, just for a minute, that we wished we were (admit it, you've been there). And it offers enormous insight into that intimate world for anyone contemplating having one--and only one. Simply storytelling at its finest.

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A must read for an only child or anyone who knows one

This was a terrific book. Although I am an only child with many only child friends, I had never thought so much about how much that aspect of my background shaped my life. Reading this book was like reading my own diary - I discovered many things in common with these writers, and found their stories funny, heartwarming and fascinating. I want to give it to everyone I know so that they will understand me better! So glad I found this book.

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Enjoyable read, but not what I was looking for

I picked this book up from the library as part of my research into my own family planning. I am one of four, my husband is one of two; we have one daughter so far. Although it was an enjoyable read, it did not at all help me in sorting out my feelings regarding having more than one child.

The editors reveal in the introduction that several authors they contacted to contribute to the book "waffled, because the task was difficult: `Hard to separate the only from the childhood,' said one. Many pointed out the irony of this entire book: It's an impossible task to know if you are the way you are because you are without siblings. Or, as one contributor put it, `It's a little bit like a trout saying, "Water: works for me."'".

And that is exactly how I feel about the book. It offers a glimpse into the lives of twenty-one authors, but it does not offer a glimpse into the lives of "only children" because it is impossible to draw any conclusions from such an enormous and varied group. The essays are written by very accomplished authors, and I enjoyed most of them. However, I do not feel the need to keep the book on my shelf.

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Don't read this book...

...if you're still trying to come to grips with whether or not you want to have only one child. I was sure until I read this book, and it depressed the hell out of me! The first chapter is about desperately lonely-to- psycholigically ruined social misfits with neglectful parents. So you think, well, ok, the parents were terrible, but I'm not. Then you go to overly-doting parents who create self-centered, depressed social misfits who turn to alchohol and abusive relationships as screwed-up adults. And then my personal favorite, if you decide to be a "liberal" parent who thinks it's amusing to find your under-age daughter in your bed with a man old enough to be arrested for it, well, then, you should be OK. GAH!!!!
I have to admit, I haven't read the whole thing yet, and to be honest I don't know if I can take anymore. This book is not helping and I sure as hell won't lend it to a friend who is still on the fence about raising an only.
This book was the exact opposite of what I was hoping for, and obviously did not make me feel better about my child being an only. I give it 3 stars because I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt that it will turn around, and because some of the stories were well-written (and others were not).

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

What is it really like to be an only child?

In this insightful and entertaining collection, writers including Judith Thurman, Kathryn Harrison, John Hodgman, and Peter Ho Davies reflect on a lifetime of being an only. They describe what it?s like to be an only child of divorce, an only because of the death of a sibling, an only who reveled in it, or an only who didn?t. As adults searching for partners, they are faced with the unique challenge of trying to turn their family units of three into units of four, and as they watch their parents age, they come face-to-face with the onus of being their families? sole historians.

Whether you?re an only child, the partner or spouse of an only, a parent pondering whether to stop at one, or a curious sibling, Only Child offers a look behind the scenes and into the hearts of twenty-one smart and sensitive writers as they reveal the truth about growing up?and being a grown-up?solo.

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