Great Book for Learning about our Mothers!

books:


	• When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends: Resolving the Most Complicated Relationship of Your Life Victoria Secunda Delta, 1991 - 432 pages average customer review:based on 26 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

When You And Your Mother Can't Be Friends

This is not a very good book in terms of a tool to work through a difficult relationship between a mother and a daughter. I gave it three stars in that is is written well and is an easy read. I did not however find the advise I was looking for to enhance my relationship with my daughter. I would not recommend this book.

Great Book for Learning about our Mothers!

I read this book the day I received it in the mail (which was only two days after I had ordered it, by the way)! It was like reading about my life and my dealings with my mother. This book pinpoints the different ways mothers destructively rear their children. There are tons of real-life examples from women the author has interviewed. There is a section that explains why our mothers treat their children so badly. It shows who the children will become when they are adults if they do not fix their own emotional problems. I am going to treasure this book for a long time! I am loaning it to my older sister, who has the same problems with our mother. I think the two most important things I took from this book were: understanding why my mom is the way she is (because of her own childhood), and why my siblings and I do not get along very well (because our mother pitted us against each other, feeding off of our dysfunction and unhappiness). I think that I have a better understanding of how to repair my relationship with my siblings, but I don't know if I ever will repair it with my mother, even though the book does have some good ideas on how to still have at least some kind of a relationship in the end.
GREAT BOOK TO READ!!!!!!!

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Unique and Special Approach

This book is aimed at individuals that have not had success with the typical "forgive and all is better" approach to failed, strained or toxic relationships. The truth, however frustrating, is that one individual cannot change another- they can only change themselves. Forgiveness is important, but when it is not enough to rectify a relationship, one needs to be able to come to terms with how to move past the guilt and responsibility that inevitably comes. As the daughter of a mother who suffered from mental illness, no matter how often I forgave or allowed toxic behavior, I had to come to terms with the woman for whom being a mother was just not possible. This book single handedly saved me, although sadly not the relationship.

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

This, the first book ever to say that mother is not always a girl's best friend, is based on a landmark study of the mother-daughter relationships. Secunda offers breakthrough advice on understanding, and improving, what could be a woman's most critical relationship.

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