A Book of Self-Discovery

books:

	• Intimacy and Solitude Stephanie Dowrick W. W. Norton & Company, 1996 - 240 pages average customer review:based on 8 reviews view larger image
	for more information click here

highly recommended

great book

I was given this book as a Christmas gift the year I divorced my husband of 10 years. It's a difficult book to read, simply because it raises so many different issues that should be examined and thought about before moving on. Ms. Dowrick has written several excellent books and I'm very happy to have started with this one. Highly recommended.

Intimacy and Solitude

I cannot recommend this book enough. I have been going through a highly introspective, difficult and insightful stage in life the past year. I have been through lots of individual counseling and read countless self-help books. I rate this one higher than any other.

Dowricks' work on the theme of "differentiation" and how it affects you in your relationship with yourself and others gets at the very core of the matter. There are very few issues, whether they be relationships, sex, addictions, etc., which cannot be traced back to this fundamental issue.

I have much respect for many different self-help/life-coach authors, and appreciate their work very much. Dowricks', though, while not an easy read, stands above the rest in cultivating fundamental insight. Providing insight, not prescription, appears to her objective with regards to writing style.

Many books inspire or help one to act. To take charge of their lives. But they fail to get down to the very core. The raw, organic, fundamental issues. In reading Intimacy and Solitude I gained new insight into "the" issue that no one can escape (and many choose not to address): one's own experience of one's self as an individual separate person. This experience is so fundamental because of the truth that, as Dowrick states, "you cannot know anyone else better than you know yourself."

Dowrick digs into the origins of one's sense of self and then explores its manifestations in one's capacity for solitude and for intimacy. Particularly insightful to me were insights into the feeling of "desire", a topic I have never before seen addressed.

This book is higly insightful, but not very prescriptive. There are no self-evaluation exercises or tactics to try. Just plain raw insight into the deepest most fundamental parts of one's self. As a man, I disagree with a previous review that thought Dowrick's "feminism" was a distraction. Not an easy read, but highly recommended.

for more information click here

thoughtful, well written

I've been reading similar books in this genre, including Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway (Jeffers), Mastery of Love (Ruiz), Heart of the Matter (Austin) and now this one. This book pulls together many of the themes percolating through the other listed books and is well worth reading (alone or with these books). It's not easy or light reading, but having finished it I can tell I'll refer back to this book often, now just to browse through particular sections. I lost count of the times she would describe a particular situation or issue and I'd immediately picture an example of that, either in my life or in those of people I know. I tend toward the overly analytical and as such I appreciated the depth and scope of the look she took at these twinned (though most people would not think so) concepts. If you're at all interested in self discovery, read this! I like books that make me think; this definitely does so.

for more information click here

A Book of Self-Discovery

This might be the greatest self-help book ever written. It is filled with deep insights, and bears rereading. It is clear that the author did not just slap words down on paper. This book is the product of some very long sleepless nights of deep reflection. She looks at life from the perspective of someone who has drunk deeply from the well of experience, and knows that life is intrinsically difficult and problematic; and sometimes can be nearly impossible to bear.

The author looks at two very different aspects of life: solitude and intimacy, and discovers how they are inter-related. Her discovery is truly original and important: that true intimacy cannot be achieved without a strong sense of self, and that an acceptance and an embrace of solitude is necessary in order to cultivate this authenticity of self. A corollary to that is her realization, never really expressed openly, but implied throughout, that intimacy, while being of great value to the those who possess self-knowledge, is not an essential in life; is not nearly as important as having a good healthy positive self-understanding.

Of course, true intimacy is of great value, when it is achieved. But maybe the end-result of all this self-discovery is that you wake up one fine morning and realize that you don't need a relationship anymore in order to be happy in life; that you are happy just being who you are! The paradox, as this book sees it, is that it is exactly those people who are happy being alone, being who they are, who are the ones who have the most to offer in a relationship with another. They are the ones who seem to draw others toward them. And those who cannot tolerate their own solitude have little to bring to a full relationship, and little to offer. This is a very old message: true wisdom, true love, lies within.

for more information click here

an excellent book

this book has provided me with some very valuable insights into myself and my relationships. Well written, good mix of examples and psychoanalytical theories.

reviews: page 1, 2

A co-founder of the Women's Press in England and a trained psychotherapist explores the paradox of needing to enjoy solitude before one can be truly intimate with another. In this critically acclaimed work, Dowrick moves readers through the realms of solitude, intimacy, and desire, offering spiritual as well aspsychological guidance.

hot

not?

What's your opinion?

Write a review and share your thoughts!

recommendations

Social Anxiety and the HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)
Books about Sexuality, and Relationships
Introvert Types of Introversion
Love and Relationships
sacred solitude

intimacy

The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, ...
Devotions For Dating Couples: Building A Foundation For Spiritual ...
A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual ...
In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

search for books
intimacy and, intimacy, solitude

Impressum / about us