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A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss - Guidance and Support for You and Your Family (Revised and Updated 2nd ...
Ingrid Kohn, Perry-Lynn Moffitt

Routledge, 2000 - 299 pages

average customer review:based on 16 reviews
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   highly recommended  highly recommended



Excellent Resource

This is an excellent book not only for grieving parents, but grandparents, friends, family. Well organized with key points listed at end of each chapter. I especially like the 2 lists "The 5 Worst Comments You Might Hear" and "The Five Best Comments You Might Hear". If you only read these 2 pages it is worth it to spare the grieving parents from well meaning but non-helpful comments and also give you something more comforting and validating to say.

A great complimentary book I recommend is "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart" by Davis. Contains more personal stories and strategies for parents to endure their grief.


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For me, the best of the books on perinatal loss.

After the stillbirth of our daughter this Christmas, I read quite a few books about this kind of loss. For me, this was the best book of the lot. It alone of all the books that I dealt with covered a loss after a crisis pregnancy (and talked about its affect on both your job and health). I found it matter of fact on difficult subjects (which I liked) and I particularly liked that it did not tell me what to feel. Many of the other books which focused more on the emotional side had the effect of feeling as though they were crowding me. This is obviously a matter of taste and personality.

In addition to the expected chapters, the book also has an excellent section on Special Circumstances which discusses things like pregnancy loss and infertility. There are a number of helpful appendices and a list of relevant resources together with a categorized bibliography.

I wish that nobody needed a book like this one. But if you do find yourself in this club that nobody wants to join, this is a good book to help you find your way.


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Best book on loss I've read

"A Silent Sorrow" covers all types of pregnancy loss and still birth, as well as new born death. My husband and I experienced early loss at 7 weeks. I found everyone around me, including myself, minimizing the loss. Many comments like "at least you know you can get pregnant", "at least it was early", etc., were not helpful. The worst was the fact that no one thought I should be anything more than disappointed and we should just "try again". When we were unsuccessful at "trying again" I went further into depression. After 3 years of ineffective coping (not to mention my marriage was in terrible shape and we'd separated) I found a therapist who works with women with miscarriage, loss, and infertility grief. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. This therapist is the one who suggested this book. She said it is one of the best for early loss. I felt a huge release immediately after reading the part about early loss. The authors validated all the feelings I had shoved so far down and ran away from. I realized I had a right to grieve and moron the loss of my child. Yes, the baby was only with me a few weeks, but it was the a lifetime of hopes and dreams for the children of my future that instantly made that child so close to my heart. I am happy to say with the guidance of this book, the book Unsung Lullabies, After the Affair, Getting the Love You Want, my grief therapist, a great couples therapist, and an excellent RE...my husband and I are back together and expecting a child. Best of luck to those that in need of this book. My heart goes out to you!


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Excellent Book

This book was a fantastic source of support and guidance for my husband and me. The author uses lots of interview research to come to her conclusions and uses current medical sources. The chapters are topical and provide you with additional resources if you wish to read further or refer you back to a particular chapter review. We both finished this book and were so impressed with the resources in the appendices. I FULLY recommend this book, even if it's been years since your pregnancy loss.


What to give when you don't know what to do or say.

I bought this book for my best friend and her family at a time when there was literally nothing I could do or say for them. Apparently their mid-wife had actually recommended it as well. They have found comfort in it as has her mother-in-law.


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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4



It is a sad fact that a growing number of families are facing the loss of a pregnancy. As more women are becoming pregnant at an older age, and as the use of fertility drugs increase the chances of a multiple-fetus pregnancy, the risk of pregnancy loss is escalating every year.

A Silent Sorrow has long been considered the "bible" for families seeking emotional and practical support after a pregnancy loss. Now completely revised and updated to reflect recent findings in medical procedures, laws governing pregnancy termination, and the complex issues surrounding pregnancy loss and reproductive technologies, this straightforward yet sympathetic guide reaches out to couples who have experienced pregnancy loss and helps them to understand and move through the mourning process. The authors address the issues of why and how men and women grieve differently; the potential impact of pregnancy loss on one's career; how to cope with ending an impaired pregnancy; the dual burden of pregnancy loss and infertility, and how to handle pregnancies that occur after such a loss. A Silent Sorrow draws from interviews with bereaved parents to illustrate coping strategies that have proven effective in such difficult situtations. Well organized, easily accessible, and filled with practical suggestions for each topic it covers, A Silent Sorrow is a positive first step for bereaved parents and their families, providing support and guidance to help resolve the grief and enable them to look to the future with hope.


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