You may have a fear of commitment and not even realize it!

books:


	• He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships Steven Carter, Julia Sokol Dell, 1995 - 352 pages average customer review:based on 68 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

You may have a fear of commitment and not even realize it!

I bought this book b/c my boyfriend and I were dating several years and it seemed when one of us wanted to move forward and commit, the other was holding back, then we would flip-flop - reading this book enlightened us so much on why that is and why we behave certain ways in our relationships and choose the partners we choose! Very interesting info to say the least!! I'm only 1/3 through but it's a great read!

Simply Brilliant

I could not for the life of me figure out what was going on in my ex's head and why our relationship wasn't working out. After reading this book I now realise that I have a passive commitment issue. The book describes several different commitment fears. As I read the book I thought, none of these fears were what I was experiencing, and then they discribed the fear that I had and everything all of a sudden clicked. It was like an a-ha moment. It was a fear that I had since I was very young, but which I have been hiding away. It literally sent chills down my spine when I finally figured out what was going on. I now also understand why I was attracted to certain types of partners. I guess you have to face all your fears that you may have otherwise they are going to come back and bite you later on. This book is a must read for anyone who is strugling to make their relationships work.

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Great insight

My girlfriend I have benefited from this book immensely. She is an active avoider and I have been both, while being the passive avoider in this particular relationship. I have bought two copies of this, and another title from the same authors called "Getting To Commitment" and gave one set to her to read while she was away in Emirates for a business trip. She admitted openly that she was pretty disturbed to see herself in the mirror while reading the books, but since then her behaviour started to change dramatically. I am not expecting her to fix herself completely but now she talks about seeing a psychologist/teraphist upon her return, and even wonders what will come out from under the slabs she's been keeping her inner self under.

For those who feel this book falls short in offering fixes towards the diagnosed, I recommend them to buy "Getting To Commitment" for the follow-up.

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Ok but could use some help

I bought this book about a year ago to help my relationship. Although I did like reading some of the examples because they related to what I was going through all one really needs to read is the appendix at the end. I thought that this was the better part of the book. True the book did not give answers as to why some are the way they are but I think that it did bring up the questions for self-reflection. If you have time take a look.

reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Available for the first time in paperback, this follow-up to the phenomenally successful Men Who Can't Love tackles the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom gained by personal experience, He's Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine, sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.

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