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The Hell with Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart
Mary D. Esselman, Elizabeth Ash V?lez

Grand Central Publishing, 2002 - 256 pages

average customer review:based on 19 reviews
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   highly recommended  highly recommended



Awesome compilation and commentary

I purchased THWL on the advice of a friend and couldn't be more delighted that I did. What a funny, witty, smart book. Perfect for educated professionals who like humor and sharp prose. Reminded me of a literary Sex in the City. Bravo!


Cheaper and More Effective than Prozac

After a tempestuous break up that lasted much longer than it should have, I was left destitute emotionally. I was at a book store, eyes red, puffy, in a virtual haze, when a friend of mine ran this book over to me. After reading the first poem ("you fit into me" by Margaret Atwood) I felt instantly better. And then I read the entire first section (titled "Rage") and decided I had to purchase it.

The book is divided into 8 sections: Rage, Sadness, Self-Hatred, False Hope, Resolve, Relapse, Real Hope, and Moving On. Throughout the book, the editors provide an introduction to each chapter and explain their reading of each poem and why it is included in the anthology. Normally I would think that such introductions were didactic and condescending, but Esselman and Velez do it with such good humor and down to earth understanding that I took more from their critical writing than I normally do in such anthologies.

While the editors are both female, both genders are well represented (i.e., this isn't just a book for "chicks"). While there seems to be a pretty large emphasis on modern and post-modern poets (e.e. cummings, Philip Larkin, Robert Frost, Dorothy Parker, and the aforementioned Atwood are all represented, as well as others), writers of other styles and periods are fairly well represented. There are some obvious poems, such as Emily Dickinson's "After Great Pain," John Donne's "The Flea", and excerpts from Hamlet and Macbeth, and there are some pleasant surprises: Larkin's bitter sing-song "This Be the Verse", Yehuda Amichai's heartwrenching "Quick and Bitter" (with the most beautiful and biting last lines I can remember in a love poem), and the exquisite imagery of "my dreams, my works, must wait till after hell" by Gwendolyn Brooks.

If you have a friend who has recently experienced a painful break up, buy them this book. If you, yourself, have recently experienced it, treat yourself to a little gift that's cheaper than therapy and anti-depressants. I kept my copy in my backpack for six months, and whenever any of the horrible, destructive emotions of rejection would sieze me, I would take it out and read one of my favorites. When I finally began to get over the break up, it took a place at my bedside, where I would read the last two chapters frequently. Its now going to be passed to a friend who recently had her heartbroken, but I will surely be getting another copy in the future... if only to give to other heartbroken friends.


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Just the Tonic You Need

This book of poetry had something for every stage of my nasty breakup. From shock and realization, to mind numbing grief, to the pathetic attempts at revival, to the process of getting on with it and the slow joy that came with realizing that it wasn't the end.
This book is dog-eared with being read so much and having the pages folded so that I could find them again. I would buy it for any friend who was going through a similar breakup or divorce.






Bitter & Brilliant!

I can't say enough about this little wonder. I love reading it when in need of a dose of healthy bitterness. ;)


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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4



THE HELL WITH LOVE is for the millions of women who are in and out of relationships - and who are weathering the inevitable break-ups that accompany them. It's a sassNNy and heart-wrenching collection of poems that expresses the anger, hurt, depression of loss: that asks why, analyses rifts and strives for explanation: and that builds resolve, envisions a future and revels in the present. Chapter themes move through rage, sadness, self-hatred, false hope, resolve, relapse, real hope and then, of course, moving on. Poets include Margaret Atwood, Louise Fluck, John Donne, Billy Collins, Gwendolyn Brooks, Sharon Olds, Pablo Neruda, Elizabeth Bishop, Jane Kenyon, Galway Kinnell, Robert Frost, Carolyn Creedon and many more.


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