This is a really important topic that deserves stronger solutions then offered here

books:


	• Mean Girls Grown Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees, and Afraid-to-Bees Cheryl, PhD Dellasega Wiley, 2007 - 256 pages average customer review:based on 14 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

This is a really important topic that deserves stronger solutions then offered here

This book is full of compelling anecdotes but the author divided women into 3 simplistic stereotypes that reduce it's usefulness. My vote goes to a similar book that is more indepth, "In the Company of Women". A big part of being a woman for most of us is telling stories about our experiences to make them complete and to bond, this book fills that need. This book is a great step forward in identifying the problem, but less on creating solutions. One story, told as a victory, is about a woman who clung to an abusive job only to getting fired; it was a victory because her behavior showed her son 'not to give up'. Talking yourself out of looking for a better situation and staying in a work environment where you're getting poor reviews and your self-esteem is getting battered despite good work -- that's a lesson in martyrdom, not strength. Why hurt your career, let alone mental and physical health when life has so to offer? Oddly I've read two books on female aggression talk about the same bullying, obsessive personalities and don't even mention personality disorders. Google "Narcisstic Personality Disorder" and "Borderline Personality Disorder" to get more perspective and stronger advice. Statistically women tend to be diagnosed with these disorders more than men, yet the two books I've read on the topic of female aggression dance around these characteristics without addressing NP & BPD too. Dealing with someone who has a disorder is a whole other ballgame than someone who could have a healthy conversation about how they're coming across. There is a lot of info on how to handle people with these disorders that the books don't provide.

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Quite educational

The book not only helped me to identify main female characters who affected my life in a negative way, but also analize my ways of dealing with them. I found it quite educational, very easy to read, although it contained very deep research into female relational psychology. I was slightly bored by the multiple personal stories. I think it was not needed to quote so many cases from the author's research.

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Interesting Reading

Very interesting reading. It puts a lot of things into perspective. As a teacher, I see a lot of these behaviors in children. I was hoping as an adult that it would get better. This book helps me see where I fit in.

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See? It's not all "just in your head!"

Have you ever felt someone, somehow, was trying to sabotage your success in your career, personal relationships, and/or volunteer pursuits, but had no solid evidence? Have you felt shunned, devalued, abandoned, harrassed, or ridiculed by women with whom you previously felt safe with? Has your spouse/friend/coworker insisted it's all in your head? THEN YOU NEED THIS BOOK!!! Adult female bullying finally has been acknowledged, and finally has a name: Relational Aggression, or RA. Cheryl Dellasega offers compassion, wisdom and insight for those who've been blindsided, backstabbed and left devastated by hidden female aggression. Often, women who are under attack by a queen bee and her wanna-bees feel as though they're going crazy, because many believe such behavior is outgrown after high school. Plus, the bully/bullies often go out of their way to stay on the good side of their target's/victim's friends, thus ruining the target's/victim's chances of finding an ally to defend them. This book deals with RA in many different areas of a woman's life: family & in-laws; parenting & mommy cliques; career/workplace; charity & volunteer organizations; church groups; women's rights organizatons; within minority groups; and among the elderly, to name but a few. The author encourages women to look at their own behavior. Could YOU actually be a bully queen bee and not even realize it? Or, could you take a stand against a queen or wanna bee who's attempting to slander a victim? All the years of women fighting for equal rights in a male-dominated society mean nothing if we turn on each other all in the name of political correctness. Sometimes we women can be our own worst enemies as we fight amongst each other to claw our way to the top. Cheryl offers ways we can empower ourselves and others so women can unite and support each other as they work toward common goals and feel safe doing so. In closing, I'd recommend this book to friends, coworkers, women's church groups, and to anyone looking for ways to empower themselves and help create a safe, productive environment for all women.

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3

Almost every woman has experienced bullying. Whether her role was that of victim, aggressor, or bystander, the pain of relational aggression (female bullying) lasts long after the incident has passed. In Mean Girls Grown Up, Cheryl Dellasega explores why women are often their own worst enemies, offering practical advice for a variety of situations. Drawing upon extensive research and interviews, she shares real-life stories from women as well as the knowledge of experts who have helped women overcome the negative effects of aggression. Readers will hear how adult women can be just as vicious as their younger counterparts, learn strategies for dealing with adult bullies, how to avoid being involved in relational aggression, and more. Dellasega outlines how women can change their behavior successfully by shifting away from aggression and embracing a spirit of cooperation in interactions with others.

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