In Spite of the Critics,This Book WILL Help you if you're a "Nice Guy!"

books:

	• How to Succeed with Women Ron Louis, David Copeland Prentice Hall Press, 1998 - 464 pages average customer review:based on 283 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Essential for all Men

You know all those puzzling things women do. They are explained here. More importantly this book tells you how to respond to the situations we find ourselves in with our women. This book is aimed at those trying to start a relationship or hook-up, but is still essential for someone that is already in a relationship and wants to make it better.

Nobody Probably Taught You Anything

After years of disastrous dating and (so far) one failed marriage, I realized that no one ever really taught me anything about relationships.

My family? Please. My family has more last names in it than a phone book so why would I look to them for anything (but lawyerly advice about getting divorced)?

My friends? Just as helpless and ill-equipped as I've been.

The media? The sappiest b.s. of popular music and lame movies has fostered the madness that "true love prevails" and probably did more damage than anything else in our lives.

True love doesn't always prevail. Nice guys finish last. And women would love nothing more than turning every decent guy into a platonic friend while serial dating every loser on the street (they have to complain to the nice platonic friend who wants them about the wretched monster they pursue as their boyfriends). Cold, harsh reality...but here we are.

So what do we do? We turn to someone for help. This year, I've been reading the various books on relationships, mostly from the male point of view, everything from the most predatory pick-up guide to this book, HOW TO SUCCEED WITH WOMEN.

If you haven't lost all of your Nice Guy tendencies, this is the book for you. It's a practical, extensive guide to a lot of info that the rest of us might--MIGHT--learn on our own in the dating jungle. Save yourself a lot of time and take the time to read this book. You might feel a little threat to your guyhood to be looking into something like this--forget that. We were raised in the generations that hammered the sick dogma that "boys and girls are the same," the age of equality.

When it comes to relationships, we're NOT the same. Not even close. It's been insane how long we've been beating our collective heads on the wall as we try to understand how women don't get that we're all the SAME.

Admit to yourself: What I'm not, I will learn. Then read this book, which is a good place to start.

The other book along these lines I'd recommend is Neil Strauss' THE GAME. He's a good writer and there's a lot of experience and wisdom there.

Now go get 'em.

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In Spite of the Critics,This Book WILL Help you if you're a "Nice Guy!"

In light of some of the reviews I've read here,I felt the need to add my two cents if you will,Seeing as how in my opinion this book doesn't get a fair shot...

I first bought this book in 2001,shortly after September 11,at point in my life when I felt I needed to make a drastic change.I was 28 at the time,painfully shy,and just out of a rather tumultous relationship with a much older woman with several kids (none of them mine...) I felt unattractive,overweight...Besides my freinds and family,I wasn't a terribly social person,and felt as if there was no chance for me to meet a woman who I truly would want to be with.

I did,however,have lots and lots of female "friends" who felt totally comfortable telling me about their dating problems,and of course I listened to them faithfully,hoping one day one of them would miraculously see me as their knight in shining armor...That happened once,but eventually with disastrous results.

Once I read this book,I came to a realization that my family and fellow "Nice Guy" friends never clued me in on...That most people,male and female,DATE before they settle upon someone.That may mean there's sexual interaction along the way,or it may mean that one person falls deeper in love than the other...But it doesn't mean that your first is your one and only,and if you should happen to lose someone along the way,if you're a person with a happening life and confidence,you'll eventually find someone new,when you're ready to.

Nice guys in particular truly need to read this book.I was one of them,and the section on the Fear of Hurting Women resonated with me.Because of all the accounts of bad dates and such my female friends told me,I swore in my mind that I'd never be that way,thinking that it was a good thing.NOT AT ALL.In turing nice and harmless,I essentially neutered myself in the eyes of any potential dates.

Quite a few men have an inner war with their sexuality,not in terms of orientation,but in terms of whether or not their desiring a woman is HURTING a woman.This book will teach you how to see through the fog of those anxieties.

When I started acting confidently,making dating women less of a priority,and myself the top priority,then things started to change.

To the critics:

In regards to the motives of any man who reads this book,it's been said by the authors themselves in other media that the only way a man is going to be happy with his final choice in a mate is only AFTER he's satisfied with knowing what's out there.How else will he truly feel confident in his choice of a woman as a long term partner.The book says it in Plain English,IN THE LAST CHAPTER...And they DO NOT endorse cheating on a long-term partner.They also make it clear that finding someone for a lasting relationship is a matter of compromise,to some degree.She's not going to be Miss Perfect.They also stress the importance of safe sex,and not getting into hasty sex situations,complete with a breakdown of what you could contract if you don't play it safe.

And as far as some of their actal examples of tactics go...Well,okay,I have to admit,I did scowl at the use of hand puppets as a serious way of drawing women.I'm a big black man from New Jersey,and there's no way in You-Know-Where that I'm taking a hand puppet of a bunny rabbit and going to talk to ladies on Broad and Market Streets in Newark!But you can take their basic ideas and augment them...The fundamentals are the same.Maybe a hand puppet is a no go,but pushing your little baby niece in a stroller,or walking a puppy...You get the idea.

I won't rehash some of the other strong points that other reviewers have already pointed out.Just read (and watch in some cases) and judge for yourself.

When this book first came out,as far as I was aware it was the only one of its kind-serious in nature,not the "Pick up chicks" kind of book that you would find ads for in the back of smut magazines.
In recent years,there have been others-Neil Strauss,David DeAngelo,and most Notably Mystery (Erik Von Markovik) who have expanded on this format.These days,they're known as the "Seduction Community" all of their material is valid.But in my opinion,if you're a "nice guy" who's had a ton of female friends who have regaled you with tales of lustful,touchy feely men who you'd sware you'd never be like,then those other media won't help you a bit if you don't address the underlying issues.Louis and Copeland will help you do that.

In closing I'd like to say that in my younger years,I weighed perhaps around 220 lbs,and was ashamed of myself...Right now I'm TWICE that weight,and I date MUCH more now than I did when I was younger...Attractive,proactive women,with careers,goals,and exciting lives.In fact,I wish I read this book when I was 15,instead of 28.I would have avoided MANY of the dating pitfalls I wound up making,and pursued the NORMAL women who were worth the pursuit!

The book WILL help you,if you're a nice guy!!!!

JJ.
myspace.com/martinjr73

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

This serious, no-holds-barred answer to The Rules gives single and divorced men a step-by-step guide for romantic success. Covers everything from how to meet women to making romance happen.

It's the 90s and the rules have all changed. This straightforward guide tells men how to handle this brave new dating world, providing complete step-by-step advice on everything from flirting to courtship, establishing intimacy, and maintaining a relationship.

Intended for single and divorced men who want to enjoy both casual and intimate relationships with the opposite sex, it delivers specific, detailed advice how and where to meet women today, how to talk to them, how to ask a woman out, how to prepare for a date and keep date conversation flowing. Directly addressing intimacy issues it reveals how to be a success romantically, discussing the five keys and five blocks to intimacy and safe sex in the 90s. Men will discover how to know if she's the one, and how to create a relationship for the long term. Copeland and Louis also cover how to know when it's over and how to end a relationship.

Providing clear, no-nonsense solutions for many difficult dating/relationship problems, this is an invaluable source of information and guidance for any man unsure of the ground rules of the new "dating game."

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