A great memoir of marriage, house buying and babies--for ANYONE!

books:


	• Homo Domesticus: Notes from a Same-Sex Marriage David Valdes Greenwood Da Capo Press, 2006 - 224 pages average customer review:based on 12 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Humorous glimpse of 21st century family life

When it comes to reading about family life, I am somewhat of a voyeur, since my own family members come with four paws and fur. And I absolutely loved this book. It's family life at its best...a lifestyle even devotedly single people can admire. It's like visiting friends who are so much fun you don't want to go back to your own home.

David Valdes Greenwood writes with understated humor that leads to laugh out loud paragraphs. For instance, he tries to join a circle of new moms in his town, only to be referred to a gay parents group in another town. "I know how to be gay," he says. "I want to learn how to be a parent!"

As someone who's lived through shifts in attitudes toward gay couples (including a stint in San Francisco), I'm delighted with the tone of the book: it's more about being a family than about being a gay family. He finds humor and human interest in the routines of grocery shopping, cooking and waking up to change the new baby. And he finds ties to extended family as the couple's own parents morph into doting "Grammy" figures, each determined to spoil the baby.

Wouldn't it be fun to have these guys as neighbors, living down the block? You could pop down to say hi, borrow a cup of sugar and get cooking tips along with a dash of fun and friendship...and they're smart, too.

Let's hope David has a follow-up volume in the works.

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Interesting slice of life

I have to admit that I didn't rush right out and buy this when it first came out. I figured it was just another knock-off title meant to capitalize on a hot topic. Besides, having read Dan Savage's memoirs of gay parenting ("The Kid") and gay marriage ("The Commitment"), I thought this topic had been pretty much exhausted. WRONG! I should have known that a rich topic is never exhausted when the writer is as talented as David Valdes Greenwood.

"Homo Domesticus" is an incredibly fluid collection of essays depicting the courtship, marriage, home buying and adoption experiences of a unique, yet average gay male couple. Valdes Greenwood is a hugely gifted story teller, deftly communicating the seemingly mundane travails of day-to-day living with equal measures of poignancy and genuinely witty humor (I laughed out loud on several occasions). Perhaps the greatest praise I can give this (or any) writer is that I eagerly await the publication of his next book (in this case "A Little Fruitcake: A Boyhood in Holidays" slated for release this November).

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Sane, Smart and Funny

Greenwood, David Valdes, "Homo Domesticus: Notes from a Same-Sex Marriage", DeCapo Press, 2007.

Sane, Smart and Funny

With so much in the news right now about same-sex marriage and the rights of gay couples, it was only a matter of time until someone involved in a same-sex marriage would write a book about it. We should be very happy that David Valdes Greenwood is the one to do so.

Greenwood gives us an honest and very funny look at his experiences as a married man. Of course, the issue here is that he is married to another man and herein lies the difference. We see that there is not that much different between a same-sex marriage and the other kid (for lack of a better term). Marriages all have problems and they are basically the same kinds, regardless of the genders of the couples involved. This is the key to enjoying this book, "Homo Domesticus". Here is an intelligently written account that looks at a gay married couple. Greenwood looks at his own marriage and draws upon it to give advice to others. We see the ups and the downs of two men building a life together in a world where the odds

outnumber the chances of success.

Wittingly told, the story of this marriage is heartwarming. There are no stereotypes, everything is presented realistically. We see that we as gay men have the same kinds of problems as everyone else and building and maintaining a relationship is not an easy chore. The issues of acceptance and adoption seem to be the major crosses we have to bear. "Homo Domesticus" is candid, especially about the relationship Greenwood shares with his spouse. We learn of how they met how they dated and then drifted apart and then marred and adopted a child. The description is beautiful and the writing is clear. This is one of those books that should be read by all who are concerned with same-sex marriage and acceptance.

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Honest, uplifting and funny as hell!

David Valdes Greenwood has written an incredibly honest, humorous, and poignant account of his experiences as a married man. That he is married to another man is, of course, the key point that will make many readers pick up this book. (That, and the nifty "His and His" towels on the cover.) But readers who hope for a safari through the exotic world of gay marriage, or a laugh-a-minute leather-thonged Lucille Ball comedy, or a "Desperate Househusbands" soap opera, are bound to be disappointed. Because HOMO DOMESTICUS is about love and marriage, period.

Yes, it would be idiotic and insensitive to say there are no differences between gay and straight marriages. The unending and infuriating debate about marriage itself makes that abundantly clear. But what HOMO DOMESTICUS makes clearer is that the similarities outweigh the differences by about a million to one, and that if you pull the covers off any couple, gay or straight, you'll find the same angels and demons surrounding them: love and jealousy, sex, money, in-laws, fights, reconciliations, joy, stress, and, of course, the issue of "issue" (children).

Once you accept that, what you find in HOMO DOMESTICUS is not just a familiar account of marriage, but a funny and heartwarming one. David Valdes Greenwood's style is energetic and inviting and so full of wit and candor, you'll start to feel like you're sitting in a coffee shop with him, listening to his latest adventures in marriage, rather than sitting alone somewhere reading his book and wondering why the hell your spouse doesn't think about all these things.

One word of warning: reading HOMO DOMESTICUS is addictive. The book leaves off at a key point in the marriage, and you'll find yourself desperate to know what happened next. But take heart. In his writing, as in his marriage, David Valdes Greenwood seems to be in it for the long haul.

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A great memoir of marriage, house buying and babies--for ANYONE!

I hope the readership of this book doesn't get limited to those who want to read about same-sex relationships, because this great book should be read by anyone who enjoys a good memoir. The author has a great way of writing about feelings that are shared by many but not expressed well by many! For example, how it feels during the early days of having a new baby in the house. I can well recall the feeling that I wished somehow there was a way out of parenthood without anyone being hurt! It's such an overwhelming time, and you love that little one so much, but the crying....! And then those days pass, and that first smile happens, and it's all written about here so skillfully. I also very much enjoyed hearing about buying a house in the Boston market written about by someone NOT rich! I often feel like the world of published writing is getting pretty exclusive, and most of those who write seem to have very little idea what it's like to struggle financially. I really appreciated reading about someone else that understood how very hard it can be to buy in Boston! I hope this author keeps writing and writing.

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3

What happens when you pair a romantic with a nonromantic? Where does the twain meet when you like to wow your lover with an original song and he thinks a bar of soap is a thoughtful gift? In his charming, often hilarious account of his decade-long relationship with his boyfriend (now husband), journalist David Valdes Greenwood sets the record straight on gay marriage, playfully disarming the arguments against it. Here are the highpoints (and some low points) that chart any good relationship: from the first blush of romance; to meeting the in-laws; to forgetting your pants at your own wedding; to figuring out in those first years that "life as a couple is all about discovering just how many things you can approach differently without actually killing each other"; and finally, of sharing that first great love, a child. Poignant and smart, these notes from a same-sex marriage will strike a chord with anyone who has ever known just how outrageous, challenging, and maddeningly wonderful the ties of love can be, no matter what configuration your family.

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