Respectable Women are the Product of their Fathers

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	• Dads and Daughters: How to Inspire, Understand, and Support Your Daughter When She's Growing Up So Fast Joe Kelly Broadway, 2003 - 272 pages average customer review:based on 18 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Trouble?

My dad and I had problems ever since I started high school. Since I was the oldest of four kids, it was hard for him to accept the idea of me moving away...not only for college. During those years, he was very defensive and my adolecent attitude didn't help much.
We always had a good bond and when we worked together, we kicked butt. This book has helped me get in touch with my dad more, and he is now starting to get over the fact that his kid isn't a kid anymore...
It was good stuff.

Dad's - Time to Wake Up!!!!

This is the must read book for ANY Dad that has a daughter. Preferably, please read soon after your daughter is born and read over and over again as she grows up. Once she is a teenager, if you haven't read it you are in trouble! If you want to really know what is going on in your daughter's mind and body, PLEASE read this book.

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Respectable Women are the Product of their Fathers

Just take a look at women who achieved and are respected ... and you will find the personification of the father's daughter. This book is a brilliant explanation of why the biological father must be around his children. The whole notion of single super power mother is complete fallacy because fathers are a much better protector of a daughter for reasons that have nothing to do with being anti-feminist. Studies and research has shown that women raised by single mothers are often at risk for relationship problems and addictions. Case studies have also proven that a step-father cannot take the place of the real father, although not the same is true with a step-mother. Nonetheless, a woman raised by a strong father figure often grows up to be confident, intelligent, achieving, and often lands leadership positions in life. Margaret Thatcher, the first female Prime Minister is Great Britain was profoundly influenced by her father, Golda Meir (Prime Minister of Isreal) same thing, and of course Indira Gandhi (Prime Minister of India) yet again. In sports there is Steffi Graf and Christ Evert whose fathers were their original coaches and mentors. So ... for all the women who say that fathers are irrelevant ... think again about how selfish that statement is to the child .... and consider what kind of person you want your daughter to grow up to be. If you don't believe me, read the book and do your own research. Men deserve to be in their children's lives just as much as the mother.

An interesting article on the importance of father's is also probed in this insightful commentary by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach - Friday, 15 April, 2005 on his website:

What to do about female promiscuity

American culture grows more crass by the day. One of the most successful American TV shows is The Apprentice starring Donald Trump, a man loaded with money but bankrupt of class. The highlight of the show is when Trump humiliates potential employees by barking at them, "You're fired!"

One can only grieve over a culture that promotes a coarse womanizer who has dumped a wife or two in favor of young models as its symbol of professional success.

Indeed, watching people be humiliated is big business on American TV. Shows such as American Idol feature judges like Simon Cowell ? known as Mr. Nasty ? who shoot the middle finger at contestants they don't like. Public degradation has become as American as apple pie with programs like Fear Factor garnering huge ratings by having participants eat bugs and swim with dead mice.
But perhaps the most disturbing example of the culture of crassness is the growing trend of famous young women going through the rite of passage known as the nearly naked photo spread.

Such recent graduates of the you-may-think-I-have-a-brain-but-let's-instead-focus-on-my-bust school of celebrity include Scarlet Johansson, who acted superbly in Lost in Translation, which made her famous enough to qualify for a cleavage-bearing photo op. Janet Jackson, of course, joined the club when she decided to have us all forget about her dancing and focus instead on her nipples, while Britney Spears is the club's founding member.

The reduction of talented and intelligent women to two breasts and a vagina has reached its apogee with the Girls Gone Wild videos, in which tens of thousands of college girls, often on spring break, flash for the camera, their sole remuneration being a feeling of deep satisfaction that they have played their God-given role as entertainment for lecherous men.

Why have millions of young American women abandoned the feminist dream of being taken seriously by men and instead decided to gain male attention with degrading spectacles of their bodies? I am convinced that the principal cause is an increasingly weak link between fathers and daughters.

IN OUR society, we have it all backward. Too much is made of the father-son relationship at the expense of the father-daughter one. The image of a boy being taught by his dad to catch a baseball or throw a football is commonplace, while the only mainstream image of a father interacting with his teenage daughter is telling her not to come home too late when she goes out with her boyfriend.
Pop tarts like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, who use partial nudity to advance their careers, are often close to their mothers, who may even serve as their managers, while their dads are nowhere to be seen.

Where you do read about a father's central involvement in his daughter's career, it usually leads to respectable women like Steffi Graff and the Williams sisters, who have resisted the offers for provocative photo spreads even after they became famous as tennis stars. This is not because mothers don't love their daughters but because men are much more successful at protecting their daughters from other men. And when a daughter receives strong masculine validation from a loving and caring father, she is usually not desperate for sexual attention from manipulative and hormonal men.

Recently the New York Times ran a front-page story about a 15-year-old girl who refused to have sex with her 16-year-old boyfriend. He promptly cheated on her. When the girlfriend found out, she told her boyfriend that they should cut class and go and have sex. She did so, she said, "in order to keep him." When I read this story, I wondered Where is this girl's father? Had her father been a strong male presence in her life, she would not have been so desperate for the affection of a scoundrel.

EVEN WHEN I go to a Yankees game, I take my five daughters along with my older son. True, they often don't know the names of the players or even the score, but they know their father loves them and hates being separated from them. There is a special connection that daughters have with their fathers that even a mother cannot replicate, which grants young women a startling immunity from compromising themselves with jerks.

Indeed, when a daughter is close to her father and respects him as a man and a dad, she begins to judge other men by that same high standard. When she dates men, she will not judge them by their smooth talk but by the depth of their commitment because her own father was not a talker but a doer. She will not jump into bed with a man just to please him. She has high self-esteem, and she expects the men in her life to make an effort to please her rather than the reverse. Her idea of a relationship is not going down to the guy's level but raising him up to hers.

THIS IS why it's so important for a father to remain the most important man in his daughter's life until she is at least 20. I always lament witnessing the deterioration of the homes of my friends whose teenage daughters are always out, either with girlfriends or boyfriends. My daughters will not date until they are of marriageable age ? in our communities from 19. Up until that time, my own love for them will sustain their need for male attention. They will not be forced at too early an age to worry whether they're pretty enough, smart enough, sexy enough, or attractive enough. To their father, they are just perfect. And they will internalize that message in their most vulnerable years so they can grow into confident and robust women who attract men out of strength rather than weakness.

As for the criticisms that too close a relationship with your daughter will impede her ability to later form close connections with romantic partners, exactly the opposite is true. A young woman with an involved and loving father gains the confidence in herself to sever the childhood ties with her father and begin a loving relationship with a man precisely because she has learned to trust men. She has no fear of being vulnerable ? a prerequisite for romantic love ? because her father has shown her an example of a man who can be trusted and relied upon.

But if she feels betrayed by her own father, she will often run to another man more to escape pain than to find love, which is what usually makes her a prime candidate for that revealing photo spread.

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Very interesting of how to raise doughters

I loved the book, it helped me to see things that otherwise I didn't notice about our culture and how it relates to the girls. With the book advice I will be able to help my doughter to grow healthy and strong

Dads' Manual for A Teenage Daughter

Well written and filled with common sense. Every Dad needs to read this in order to understand a teen-age daughter and how to develop an open-minded relationship with his daughter. Bettye Johnson, award-winning author Secrets of the Magdalene Scrolls.

reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4

Every father can make a huge difference in his daughter’s life.

As the primary male role model in a girl’s life, fathers influence their daughters in profound ways, from how they see themselves to what they come to expect from men and the world at large. But men often don’t realize the importance of their interactions or may shy away from too close involvement because of their inexperience, or conditioning. Especially as girls move into adolescence, fathers may find themselves feeling distant from their daughters or awkward with the changing dynamic. Communication becomes difficult and parenting issues more complicated. But this is also the time when daughters most need their fathers to be an even greater presence in their lives. Dads and Daughters is a tool to bridge that gap and build a rewarding and joyful father-daughter relationship.

From father to father and with insights from many other dads, Joe Kelly shows men how they can strengthen their relationships with their daughters and explores the tremendous rewards this relationship can bring. Starting with a self-assessment quiz titled “How Am I Doing as My Daughter’s Father?” dads can immediately see what kind of role they play in their daughter’s life. To educate fathers and offer solutions when problems arise, Dads and Daughters then offers thoughtful coverage of the most pivotal issues today’s girls face, such as sex and dating, body image, alcohol and drugs, media culture and violence, money and responsibility, and the future. In doing so he both illuminates the culture our daughters live in and shows fathers how to guide their daughters toward rewarding, healthy lives.

From the Hardcover edition.

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