Everyone in a relationship should read this!

books:


	• How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words Patricia Love, Steven Stosny Broadway, 2007 - 240 pages average customer review:based on 39 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Empowering Advice

"Words hurt. Words destroy. Words can kill a relationship." ~ pg. 66

"how to improve your marriage without talking about it" is not about a lack of communication, it is about more effective communication and an understanding of how fear and shame factor into a healthy relationship. From the minute I read the first page, this book started to make perfect sense. This book has many stories of couples in trouble and in each case the authors show how the problem is not about communication it is about disconnection.

Since men feel worse when discussing problems and women feel better, how can both partners feel satisfied? The authors show ways that women can reduce the triggering of shame in men and they show men how to reduce the triggering of fear in women.

To begin the discussion the authors show how marriage problems are actually a result of conditioning as a child. Boys are taught to suppress emotions while girls are rewarded for being emotional. In their discussions of how children are raised they give some good advice for parenting.

There is a revealing list of ways to shame a man that helps women to realize what they are doing wrong when they do talk to a man. There is also some good advice on dealing with anger and resentment. This book encourages you to take an honest look at your life to see if you can make more time for your relationship.

Instead of talking, have more sex. Could it be that easy? At the end of the book there is a secret formula to create more love in your relationship. Throughout this book there are many insights that will nurture your relationship. I tried quite a few ideas and they all worked in my own relationship.

So if you are tired of talking and you want to find ways to connect that are less verbal then this book may help. In the end, you still have to have good communication skills to make a marriage work, but giving a hug is a lot better than criticizing or making a partner feel fear or shame. According to this book, talking about your problems just makes things worse. Compassion, love and a deeper understanding of your partner's vulnerabilities can make things better.

~The Rebecca Review

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An important book

Unlike Steven Stosny's other book, Love Without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One, which seemed to encourage victim mentality thinking, How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It is very positive, and contains genuinely new insights that make you think. This book helps both man and woman understand the other better, and makes it possible for ordinary couples to find their way through difficult issues in their marriage in clever, pain-free ways. It explains why talking is such torture for so many husbands, and it also explains how many husbands inadvertently make their wife feel scared, etc. A really fascinating, very human book with a lot of good ideas and information that can help in the real world. See also Michele Weiner-Davis's Getting Through to the Man You Love: The No-Nonsense, No-Nagging Guide for Women.

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Everyone in a relationship should read this!

This is the best insight into male-female patterns I have ever read. Dr. Love hits the nail on the head with common mistakes people make when interacting with each other in their relationships. This is a must read for any age when dealing with the opposite sex. It opened my eyes!!! Now if I could only get my husband to read it!

ENOUGH TALKING ALREADY!

Thank goodness somebody finally made it clear what real communication between couples is. That it is not always talking, talking, talking until you are worn out. Once you learn from this book how to UNDERSTAND each other, then take it a step further, and show each other how you feel. The Sensuous Couple's (Flip Over) Guide to Seismic Oral Sex will create more communication than you ever thought possible, and you won't be doing any talking. Give both books a try, and bring you and your husband closer than ever.

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Men are right. The ?relationship talk? does not help. Dr. Patricia Love?s and
Dr. Steven Stosny?s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness:

Love is not about better communication.
It's about connection.

You'll never get a closer relationship
with your man by talking to him like you
talk to one of your girlfriends.

Male emotions are like women's sexuality:
you can't be too direct too quickly.

There are four ways to connect with a man:touch, activity, sex, routines.

Men want closer marriages just as much as women do,but not if they has to act like a woman.

Talking makes women move closer;
it makes men move away.

The secret of the silent male is this:
his wife supplies the meaning in his life.

The stunning truth about love is that talking doesn?t help.

Have you ever had this conversation with your spouse?

Wife: ?Honey, we need to talk about us.?
Husband: ?Do we have to??

Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn?t bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart.

The reason for this is that underneath most couples? fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman?s vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man?s subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can?t happen through words.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don?t require ?trying to turn a man into a woman.? Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.

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