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Recovering From Rape
Linda E. Ledray

Holt Paperbacks, 1994 - 304 pages

average customer review:based on 13 reviews
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   highly recommended  highly recommended



Good information if you can get past the politics

Rape is one of those many real things in the life of humans that shatter good old time notions like "God never gives you more than you can handle" or "Everything happens for a reason", implying a "good" reason if we're bright enough to learn from it. What's to be gained from such an experience as rape? Just punishment? A sense of satisfaction for the rest of us because it didn't happen to us? Support for the notion "God works in mysterious ways"? Such adolescent ideas are one of the many reasons rape victims are further humiliated as made clear by this author.

Having encountered a woman who suffered rape I realized this was something I knew nothing about. As a male raised in a pre-60s atmosphere where respect for women was still taught to boys by parents - not by absent parents allowing Emenim to do the teaching - rape was too foreign for me to comprehend. In addition the advantages ambulance-chasing lawyers and fanatic feminists have taken by inventing rape victims made me suspicious of some claims made, including the now infamous assertion that all human males are born rapists and murderers. This author defines even "undress you looks" and catcalls as "small rapes". Thus not only reducing those who have been truly raped, but losing credibility by such ridiculous claims. Are we to believe that 1 in 4 women will be raped? Naturally, if definitions become as flimsy as those purported in this book then anything is rape so numbers become stratospheric. How can we know? By the time the author has made this reference the critical reader is long pondering agendas.

Human males are not generally born evil, but some become that way. By the numbers such males are fabulously rare, but they exist and perhaps more than most suspect. Like a single CFC responsible for the destruction of countless ozone molecules, a single rapist can cause irreconcilable damage to many and, as this book clarifies, to more than the rape victim. Which is not to take priority from the one most in need of assistance. That assistance comes in two forms - understanding and justice. The text goes some distance in directing how to assist understanding and warns about the typical response - "it's the victims fault". She is right about rape myths maintaining views of social order. Humans embrace what makes us comfortable, regardless of truth. It's clear to anyone with a brain that rape is not a crime of passion but rather one of violence and the author makes this clear for those who don't already know it.

This book shows the rest of us what rape is like from numerous examples of modern women facing Medieval minds on the matter, painting the event on the inside of our skull. Once done, anger clouds our view but the author does, finally, keep us on track to recovery and not for us but for the survivor. Despite indicting males through sweeping generalizations this book is likely to assist those in need, hopefully without additional damage by the author's personal axe to grind.

One day, when America becomes wise enough to intelligently combat evil at home, not simply abroad, one hopes this evil will undergo its own campaign of eradication. Violent boys, inadequate and inferior, may need counseling but they respond to threats from their own quiver. The threat of certain execution through lethal injection for rapes with DNA evidence, proven in a court of law might go far in containing homeland terrorists and remove parasites less than animals from society.


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For survivors and their family, friends, significant others

This book was one of the first I read after my rape a little over 2 years ago. I read this book in one day and handed it to my boyfriend to read it. It really helped me understand what I was going through and why. My boyfriend, at the time, was able to read it and was bale to further understand my anger, guilt-- all of the feelings that I was dealing with. Although one cannot fully understand those feelings unless you have gone through it yourself; this book does help family members, friends, and lovers understand as much as they can. I really recommend this book especially if you were recently raped. Please, also remember though that just reading a book and not seeking therapy will not help you recover fully. Seeking help from a person with experience in rape and sexual assault will help as well as reading, journaling, and speaking to friends and family.


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recovering from rape

this book is an excellent resource. it covers every aspect of post-rape healing and decisions. i highly recommend it to any rape survivor or a loved one of a survivor.






Very helpful

I found this book to be very helpful, both for me as a person recovering, and as I work with people who are recovering.


Excellent Resource

I am Victim's Advocate at a domestic violence and sexual assault crisis center, and I am also a survivor of sexual assault. I read this book as part of my training in 1994, and I use it frequently to help my clients. When I read the book, it seemed that the author was writing about me! It made me understand many feelings I had as a child, teenager, and adult, and it made me feel more "normal".

It has helped so many of my clients to work through their feelings as victims and to help them become survivors. The simple language and order of the chapters allows them to start anywhere in the book, put the book down for a while to process their feelings, and pick it back up when they are ready to continue. I order several copies of this book every year so I can let clients take a copy of the book home with them. This allows them to move at their own speed. Sometimes we read the book together in counseling if their feelings are too overwhelming to process by themselves. I highly recommend this book.


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Practical advice on overcoming the trauma and coping with police, hospitals, and the courts - for the survivors of sexual assault and their families, lovers, and friends.




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