Chose your role models carefully

books:

	• Parenting, Inc. Pamela Paul Times Books, 2008 - 320 pages average customer review:based on 10 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Get past the intro...

This book came to me highly recommended, and frankly - I agree with its title, subtitle and all of the precepts it puts forth. I was very much looking forward to seeing what the authoress had to say.

So I was nearly shocked into dropping it when, out of the gate, Pamela Paul chose Baby Sign Language as her whipping boy. Just how much further she could have missed the mark on this topic, I do not know.

As a parent of two boys under four, we found BSL to be an invaluable tool for understanding, communication, and above all avoidance of frustration.

A baby has more going on in his or her brain than he can possibly express. Without proper control over vocalization, all he can do to get his wishes across to his parent is to cry or flail.

Instead, giving your baby the tools she needs to communicate is a priceless and amazing gift. You do not need to spend hundreds of dollars on this. Classes are optional - it needs only be between you and your infant. You can get a secondhand book with basic signs for under ten dollars. In fact, MAKE UP YOUR OWN if nothing else! ("hungry" "thirsty" "tired" "pick me up" "diaper" and "pain" are good starters) The important thing is that you and she understand each other, not that she's got proper grammar.

In fact, the first time your baby TELLS you that she's HUNGRY, instead of crying while you ineffectually ask "Are you cold? Hot? Tired? Wet? Want a toy?" you will realize just how valuable this is.

Do not treat it as Pamela Paul apparently did - it is not a status symbol, checkbox for a baby's resume, or fad for Brooklyn yuppies.

It is, however, a wonderful step toward connecting with your baby, and letting him feel safe in the knowledge that (a) he has a voice, and (b) mommy and daddy actually hear him, and are there to take care of him.

Rob

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Parenting,Plus

Pamela Paul captures the culture of commercialism for child-rearing.The anxieties of being a parent have been capitalized on by manufacturers; and, parents are distracted from the realities of raising a baby.Not only is "stuff" stuffed down new parents throats,this is accompanied by false claims of excellence.Pamela Paul has researched her topic and added a dose of intuition, inspiration,common sense and humor to drive her point home. BRAVA!!!!!

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Sobering look at raising kids

Pamela Paul, who has written lucidly and piercingly about other issues in American culture, here examines the money and mentality of raising children. She begins by discussing baby sign language, and, right away I thought about the choices I made for my children. I never did get around to teaching my kids sign language, I didn't buy the most expensive cribs or cradles. Did I screw up?? Did I damage my children? Paul reassures me that, no, my kids will do just fine, thank you.
This book is interesting from a sociologic perspective. But it's also practical. I think that any new parent (or parent of a pregnant child) should read it to get a clearer vision on what children "must" have, and what children truly need.
The bottom line: children need more of what money can't buy. And if you spend less time going out to earn the money, maybe you'll be home more to give your kids what they need: you!

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Chose your role models carefully

I think author Pamela Paul was brave to go up against "Big Baby" (her phrase not mine) and argue against Baby Einstein or buying fancy car seats, for example. Surely some people (the grandparents of her own tots perhaps) would raise an eyebrow at that.

Too many people in our society spend money without thinking. American household savings rates, around 15% in 1980, are now basically 0. What are people going to do when it's time to spend $20,000 on Kindergarten? If they heed this book, the answer will be "relax". You can raise kids better by ignoring the people who tell you to spend more. It fits with the (better raised) of my friends' children, anyway.

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Parenting, Inc

I read this book from the perspective of a first-time grandfather of a toddler. I expected a number of changes in the art, science, and practice of parenting in the generation since I was a parent. I fully expected advances in pediatrics, the infrastructure of the child care system, and the application of technology to child care goods and services. I was not
prepared to read the author's description of the unleashing of frenetic consumerism on the children or on the development of narrow specialists in a field that was once considered as part of normal parenting skills. After reading this seminal expose I indulged in a touch of macabre by visiting the website that offered the thousand dollar BUGABOO stroller.

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reviews: page 1, 2

A leading social critic goes inside the billion-dollar baby business to expose the marketing and the myths, helping parents determine what?s worth their money?and what?s a waste

Parenting coaches, ergonomic strollers, music classes, sleep consultants, luxury diaper creams, a never-ending rotation of DVDs that will make a baby smarter, socially adept, and bilingual before age three. Time-strapped, anxious parents hoping to provide the best for their baby are the perfect mark for the ?parenting? industry.

In Parenting, Inc., Pamela Paul investigates the whirligig of marketing hype, peer pressure, and easy consumerism that spins parents into purchasing overpriced products and raising overprotected, overstimulated, and over-provided-for children. Paul shows how the parenting industry has persuaded parents that they cannot trust their children?s health, happiness, and success to themselves. She offers a behind-the-scenes look at the baby business so that any parent can decode the claims?and discover shockingly unuseful products and surprisingly effective services. And she interviews educators, psychologists, and parents to reveal why the best thing for a baby is to break the cycle of self-recrimination and indulgence that feeds into overspending.

Paul?s book leads the way for every parent who wants to escape the spiral of fear, guilt, competition, and consumption that characterizes modern American parenthood.

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