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Why Can't I Get What I Want?: How to Stop Making the Same Old Mistakes and Start Living a Life You Can Love
Charles Elliot

Davies-Black Publishing, 1998 - 224 pages

average customer review:based on 2 reviews
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Exceptionally well-written, profound yet clear insights

Why Can't I Get What I Want? emphasizes one of the latest developments in cognitive therapy, i.e., the role schemas play in our lives. The authors suggest that schemas can be thought of as powerful lenses that affect every important part of life. I had previously known of the schema concept, but was impressed by the clarity of the presentation and the case examples that brought the notions to life.

I was also surprised to see elements of chaos theory applied to schemas in a fascinating manner. The authors cleverly demonstrate how inconsistencies are a natural phenomenon in all of us. They note out how easy it can be to flip between opposite, seemingly contradictory poles of any particular schema (such as from perfection to inadequacy).

This book makes you think. I have acquired a much deeper understanding of myself and others. The ideas have stuck with me and I see new applications of them frequently. I have never read a self-help book before that provided such a wide swath of applications. It isn't just about depression or anxiety; it's about life-relationships, empowerment, and self-worth.

I highly recommend this book!


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In-depth but Complex

Speaking from a Layman's point of view, this is no easy read. The book is full of information and plenty of explanations about schemas and their application and origin. This book will likely require a 2nd if not a 3rd reading to fully understand it's concepts.

As for me, I found if interesting enough to know what schemas are and how they interpret my life's experiences and viewpoints. This was already brought up in the 1st chapter. But having no desire to pursue a PHD, I quickly lost interest in reading the rest of the book because of the considerable details. The book read more like a 4 th year psychology textbook than a self-help book.

Surely schemas are a very important and relevant method of clinical diagnosis, and I will be better off knowing more about them. I only wish the authors could make it less scientific. Perhaps a few more case studies would be helpful.


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A major breakthrough in cognitive psychology for solving life's most disruptive problems.



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