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That Undeniable Longing: My Road to and from the Priesthood
Mark Tedesco
Academy Chicago Publishers
, 2006 - 197 pages
average customer review:
based on 5 reviews
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highly recommended
One story from the heart.
Mark was able to share private, caring and moving times about his life within the Catholic Church. His honesty and insight to what happens behind the confesional is revealing and capitvating and at times angered me.
That
Undeniable
Longing
is written in such a manner that I did not want to put the book down, could not wait for the next page to find what it had to reveal about the various players.
The events that Mark writes about and the lack of action
from
the Catholic Church reminded me as to why I left the Church many years ago myself.
The reader does not have to be a catholic to find this book interesting and capitvating, it will capture you before you know it.
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Another catholic in recovery
Review of:
That
Undeniable
Longing
My
Road
to and
from
the
Priesthood
By Mark Tedesco
I came to reading Mark Tedesco's excellent memoir by a somewhat circuitous route. As a former nun, I have been on my own odyssey, writing about the agony of trying to be perfect in a medieval milieu where I was a misfit from day one - because I could not stop thinking! It was my good fortune to meet Mark's sister, quite by coincidence, on a weekend getaway. She sensed the similarities in our separate struggles and put us in touch through e-mail. After a couple of e-mail exchanges, I ordered the book from Amazon, knowing intuitively that reading it could provide new insights to apply in my writing.
I was immediately caught up in Mark's easy style in describing his introduction to Rome and his fascination with exploring the pattern of monastic life to decide whether he could comfortably adapt to such a regime. Simultaneously, his innate love of history, nature and art as he ventured beyond the monastery grounds, is so effectively expressed that the reader is swept along with him. But much more importantly, as he is exposed to the phoniness of many "saints", Mark draws a bead on the terrible injustice perpetrated by Catholic Church authorities in an obsessive need to control the sexual orientation and marital practices of its members.
My problem was not the same as Mark's; I was never GAY; I WAS SAD! Because I was molested at age eight and had witnessed the slavery imposed on my female family members due to the church's insistence that wives owed their husbands sexual subservience, I announced at age 5 that no man would ever make a doormat out of me. So what was left to me as a devout Catholic to choose as a meaningful way of life? BE A NUN!
The point I am trying to make is that Mark's wonderful book is not just directed to gay men who wish to follow the teachings of Christ and help their fellow Catholics, but are rebuffed by narrow-minded Cardinals who condemn homosexuality. It applies to all the women who are forced into uncontrolled childbearing, not really due to the Catholic Church's devotion to infants, but to an obsessive need to increase its own membership - even if the preservation of an embryo's existence requires the Mother's demise. What kind of "Right to Life" is this?
Mark's lengthy, painful quest to resolve his personal dilemma successfully - despite the stigma religion attaches to a way of life it brands as scandalous - can serve as a beacon to many others seeking self realization, love and happiness in the face of social condemnation.
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Facinating Honest Personal Moving
This book tells the life of a Priest. A life filled with Latin, filled with lambs, filled with G-d. It is a life of celibacy, of poverty, of charity. It is a life filled with listening to the woes of the people, their sins, and giving the forgiveness through Jesus Christ, The Lord. This is the life of a man who has dedicated himself to G-d and the church, to the people, to His flock. After nearly 8 plus years, countless hours of prayer, devotion, and spiritual struggle. After a four-year degree, a post-graduate degree, many sleepless nights filled with fear and dread. This is a Priest. This is the life of a Priest. This is the life of a Gay Priest!
As a Priest-to-be, Mark struggled with not only his family and his faith, but also with his life as a closeted gay man. In his book
That
Undeniable
Longing
: My
Road
to AND
from
THE
Priesthood
, Mark Tedesco recounts his life, well roughly ten years of his life, of going from faithful Catholic parishioner to being a full-fledge Catholic Priest... and then back to being a "normal" Joe.
This book captivates the reader from page one when he wonders if questioning life and your past is a side-effect of being middle-aged. "How did I arrive at this point? Could I ever have imagined, long ago on a winter day in Rome, that I would find myself on this new path, my dreams not shattered, but transformed. And that elusive, relentless desire, for happiness - where is it leading me?" He sparks our imagination, at least those of us who are 30-something and older, of the days gone by. He makes us think about our past, and if we would have done anything differently. He makes us think about the lessons, the little "-isms" we have learned and discovered.
The life of a Priest is hard, as we learn. It is a life filled with monotony, with repetitiveness, and without much spontaneity. It is a life filled with being the moral grounding of a faith that is large and far reaching. To influence the lives of others is a path that many are not willing to take. Young Mark discovers this and so much more on his little journey known as the priesthood. From being an oblate in a monastery in the hills of Italy, to being kicked out, and then once again accepted by another seminary, Mark's adventure both captivates and invigorates you in addition to upsetting and angering you. In light of all the controversy surrounding Priests and sexual abuse, it is no wonder that a gay man not only questions his faith in the Church, but also in himself and his relationship with the Almighty above. The journey of understanding is not an easy one, which those who have had time to live a little bit more on this planet know all to well. The life of a gay man, and the struggle to not only accept yourself, but to reject others non-acceptance is also a journey filled with fears, tears and personal struggle. To go through both is killer, but one journey "Father Mark" accomplished.
This book is filled with controversy, with personal struggle not only with self-acceptance and faith, but also with the Catholic World. You will laugh, you will possibly cry, and you will most undoubtedly come to learn from the struggle both without and within. This book is quite well written and addicting from page one. I could not put it down and read it from cover to cover. It made me examine my faith and the faith of others. It made me reminisce about coming to terms with being a person of faith, being a gay man, and being a gay man with faith.
Discover more about the priesthood, about man, about faith, about life, about your life in this book. I did, and I know you will too!
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Wasting much of your life letting others dictate its path
Coming
from
a dysfunctional family life, including the death of his mother and the remarriage of his emotionally-distant father, Mark Tedesco got involved in his local church as a surrogate "family" of sorts, the forced satisfaction from which he interpreted as a vocation to become a priest. At age 19, he was in a conservative small seminary in Italy, where the school's resident "living saint" told him
that
God definitely wanted him to become a priest. His growing dissatisfaction with his life, his inability to maintain normal friendships, plus his early inklings that he might be homosexual, manifested themselves in physical illnessnes that plagued him for most of his stay. After a one year leave of absence, the order would not let him back, and he continued his studies at a more liberal seminary in Rome, becoming involved in a growing "Communion and Freedom" activist movement in the church. Subsequent episodes in California and Washington DC eventually led to his realization that he had to stop being a victim of what everyone else told him he should be doing, and instead should follow what his heart is telling him he should do with his life. The
road
to that conclusion is the major part of the book.
An amazing autobiography by an individual whom many can relate to, aside from his religious vocation, on the basis of having one's environment and influences dictate your feelings. Well-written and intelligent. I give it 4 stars out of 5.
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A Sobering Story
First off-I can't believe there are 32 copies available for sale, but I am the first to review this fine book.
Mark Tedesco paints a story of priestly life I didn't realize existed. Oh I know there are thousands upon thousands of men out there who are ex-priests, but I never thought there were such politics and dissension within the seminaries. And how so much of a seminarian's education isn't biblical at all-it's all philosophy, dogma, traditions & history. So many priests aren't even leading with God's will. Sad. It kind of makes the Catholic church sound corrupt.
I was so surprised how much Mark lied during seminary and in the
priesthood
. But it took him such a long time to finally be honest with himself and live for himself. He suppressed himself for so many years in everyway. I don't like to give the books away by explaining alot about them, so I just want to say
that
I really did enjoy the book and it enlightened me very much about the Catholic church and its clergy. They aren't very good examples many of them. Mark barely told anything about his sexual trysts-but that makes him a gentleman. It kept the book tasteful and readable by all. I wished he had kept the book going a little bit longer to let us know just where his life went after the priesthood, but I suppose now he is just a regular guy. I am glad for him. I liked Mark right through the whole book. I am hoping to have him autograph at a signing next month.
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