Fun and Interesting Way to Get to Know Someone

books:


	• Intellectual Foreplay: A Book of Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be Eve Eschner Hogan Hunter House, 2000 - 288 pages average customer review:based on 29 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Wonderful. Must read!

My fiancée and I are almost through Intellectual Foreplay. We have been using it for several months, slowly going through the chapters. Sometimes questions in different chapters have led us to more fully understand one another, and amazingly at other times questions have caused us to reflect and understand our own selves in different ways. Although a few moments with the book have been a challenge, overall, it has actually been tons of fun. I will soon graduate with my doctorate in clinical psychology and I FULLY plan on recommending this book to any couples with whom I do any type of premarital counseling. It has been a very useful tool in a beautiful journey.

I have heard many, many couples say that the first year of marriage is the most difficult. Couples may not know how a spouse rolls the tooth paste roll or in what areas of life the other individual wishes most to grow. And these may be things that will seem huge and insurmountable once one enters into marriage (yes, even the toothpaste rolling). This book asks almost every question imaginable and I think (and hope)that by covering the many things that couples might not otherwise think to talk it may ease the transition of the first year or in the worst case help a couple identify irreconcilable differences before walking down the isle.

It adds variety and depth to an occasional date night and may enrich a relationship. Highly Recommend.

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Intellectual Foreplay

This book is very helpful in getting to know a lover or lover-to-be as the extended title says. The questions are set up in chapters that lead you into discussions that should take place between couples, even couples who have known each for awhile or even forever would benefit from the insights gained with a responsive partner.

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separated after 32 yrs

My wife and I are now separated after 32yrs of marriage(both married at age 20). This book was originally referred to me by my therapist in hopes that it would help me with conversation should I have to begin all over in the dating world. I found some very intense questions that if answered honestly, could help strengthen and intensify or totally dismiss an existing relationship. The questions asked should be answered by everyone prior to a permanent relationship as the answers can provide a true insight into the individuals involved. Pay close attention to questions that deal in future possibilities; such as permanent health and disability issues, though they are hard to imagine until they happen they become quite real and can have a major affect on a relationship. My wife is now reading this book and I am eager, yet apprehensive for her to finish it, because at that time we will discuss whether I will be returning home, more importantly, after she answers the questions, does she want me to return home. I have purchased this book for my 3 adult children, one who is married, for our marriage couselor and for a very good friend who has become involved with someone. Hopefully my wife and I will be able to use this book to help us reconnect and enjoy another 32 yrs. Thank you Eve for sharing your book with us.

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Fun and Interesting Way to Get to Know Someone

I bought this book a while back hoping that I could gain insight into a pseudo-relationship I was having at the time. The other person did not want to answer the questions. That told me everything I needed to know. The second person (who is now a part of my life) answered every question openly and honestly. We have talked for hours over these questions. I feel like I know this man so much better now than I would have had I not had this book and used it. I also feel secure in knowing that we are on the same page in many areas regarding our future. I give a lot of credit to the questions in this book for that.

The questions range in topics from "what are your political views?" to "what was your favorite childhood memory?" to "what do you want in a relationship?" The questions can be light hearted only requiring a one word answer or they can have a lot of depth and force the 'answeree' to think and make a concerted effort to give a full and meaningful answer. I love the questions and I love this book. Its amazing how many people (myself included in the past) throw themselves into relationships not knowing what type of person the other is or what they each want out of life together or apart. While the questions in the book will not take you to the deepest recesses of a person's mind, it will certainly put you on track to do so. Have fun. Be mindful. Pay attention to how your partner answers these questions. His/Her answers (or lack of) may save you a lot of heartache down the road. ;)

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Highly Recommended

I've read many relationship books, but this is by far the most relevant to any relationship, regardless of how long you have been together. This is fortunately not one of those "fluff" books filled with silly ideas and questions, instead this book is filled with many relevant, practical questions, many of which you wouldn't think of, or would take for granted.

This book is broken into seven parts, Using Your Head and Your Heart, Who Are You, Where Did You Come From, Where Are You Going, Can We Live Together, Where Are We Going, Can We Evolve Together. Each part starts with a real life example, so you can see how understanding that issue may be relevant, before moving onto several pages of questions. These questions are also broken down sections- questions to ask each partner, questions to explore as a couple, observations of your partner and self observations.

Going through this book, or just by yourself, you'll come out at the end with a clearer view of yourself and/or your relationship.

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

This solutions-oriented guide offers problem solving and behavior changing strategies for people working on their most intimate relationships. The book provides readers with: enhanced knowledge of their own and their partners' beliefs, values, habits, desires, goals, likes, and dislikes; ideas for opening communication and deepening a relationship; skills for making healthy decisions about lifestyles and boundaries; an in-depth understanding of the role of self-esteem in relationships; increased ability to let go of the past and embrace the present; and the knowledge that it is important not only to choose the right partner, but also to be the right partner. What distinguishes Intellectual Foreplay from similar titles is that it includes guidelines on what to do with the answers it gives. This makes it useful in both creating and sustaining a relationship.

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