Read it before you leave, and if you already have

books:


	• Ditch That Jerk : Dealing With Men Who Control and Hurt Women Pamela Jayne M.A. Hunter House, 2000 - 226 pages average customer review:based on 16 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Read it before you leave, and if you already have

An invaluable manual for how to get out of an abusive relationship and how to break the ties afterwards. I also recommend it for women who are looking for a serious relationship and for young teens. There are definite red flags to look for BEFORE you become involved with someone.

Women are thier own worst enemy

This seems like a good book. However, if women didn't get themselves into these problems they wouldn't need it.. Women are drawn to A-holes. That's all there is to it. If you are nice to a woman she won't want to sleep with you or marry you. But if you start treating her like garbage, she can't get enough of you. Then they sit around and complain about how guys mistreat them. Yeah miss genius, couldn't you tell he was a jerk to start with!? When you start dating a guy, how he treats you is pretty much how he is going to always treat you. If he is a jerk now, he will only be a bigger jerk as he gets to be more comfortable around you.

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Good book, bad title

The book tended to ramble on a bit, but overall, I found it very informative and helpful. The title is this books biggest flaw. The book itself has the potential to help women to tell the difference between a good man who does bad things but can be helped, and a really bad man she should stay away from. Unfortunately, when I tried to get my daughter to read this book, she was offended by the title. Even after I explained the intent of the book, she still refused to take it. She was afraid if her boyfriend saw the book, he would think she was trying to get rid of him and it would cause trouble in their home.

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Valuable Information

This is a very, very informative book on abuse. It doesn't necessarily have to be for women only. For men in relationships abused by women, this will be very helpful to you too.

The book concentrates mostly on physical abuse, and I wish the author talked more about emotional / verbal abuse, but the dynamic behind all kinds of abuse is the same. Same denial, justifications for the behavior, shifting the blame tactics that all abusive people use. The author tries to help the reader determine their partner's capacity to change by using three categories - potentially good, bad, or hopeless.

Some things that determine an abusive person's potential to change are self-examination, whether or not he acknowledges he has a problem, type of friends he has, whether substance abuse is involved or not, does he make excuses, deny or minimize his actions, etc. The author thoroughly goes over them all. She also describes types of counseling that will / will not work, and the guilt tactics she described that abusers use really hit home with me.

This book has very good substance to it, and is a must for abused partners to read. Despite the cheesy title that makes it sound like a typical breakup book, it's as informative and educational as Lundy Bancroft's "Why Does He Do That?"

I also object to the title because someone who hits his partner is way more than just a "jerk."

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Haven't read thus three stars

I'm really just here commenting on a lot of the "non-reviews" here. I read them and then did an Amazon search for "men hating women." Lots of hits. Then I did one for "women hating men." Nothing. So just a reminder that no matter how bad you think it is, men are not joyously publishing books about "them thar crazy women folk." Since most of these reviews concentrate on the supposition that all men are abusive, which is not in keeping with the title of this book, I'd say let's pull back from the rhetoric, read the book, and then comment.

reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4

Neither weighed down by research nor weightless with airy promises, Ditch That Jerk is a gritty, honest, and most of all experienced view of physical and emotional abusers and their effect on victims. Engagingly written, it shows women how to assess their partners and relationships for potential abuse, and for potential change - or not. Author Pamela Wiseman uses examples from counseling sessions to illustrate how the mind of an abusive man works and how to identify the patterns. She details the tricks used by such men to keep women in line and discusses warning signs, alcohol and drugs, and the excuses people use to explain abuse. Optimistic and empowering without candy-coating a difficult topic, this book gives women the tools to make clear-headed decisions about damaging relationships.

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