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In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People
George K. Simon Jr.
A. J. Christopher & Company
, 1996 - 172 pages
average customer review:
based on 77 reviews
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highly recommended
One of the best books I have ever read
I would recommend this book to anyone. It has redefined how I judge
people
and helped me to become a stroner person. I used to be very naive and unaware of people's ulterior motives, and I have learned a tremendous amount from reading this book.
Describes the basic tools of manipulators
The book makes use of examples and has a chapter that describes the basic tools of a manipulator. I congratulate the author for rejecting the notion that
manipulative behaviour
stems from some sort of 'insecurity' or 'feelings of inadequacy'. All to often it's used as a rationalization for the behaviour of a manipulator. They are not insecure and they certainly do not consider themselves inadequate, far from it! He also suggests that manipulators do not need counselling - they need correction. I couldn't agree more!
The books falls down in that it does not discuss in detail how to combat the tools of a manipulator. Yes, it does give a few examples but the descriptions are shallow and do not tell the reader how and why they work. Mainly it seems to focus on offering 'win win' situations to manipulators - frankly this is something I would hesitate to use. It seems like 'feeding the beast' rather than correction - which is what the author states manipulators need in the first chapters. Overall the book is easy to read and provides a guide to identifying a manipulators - but it does not give you the tools to protect yourself....
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A must read! Excellent book. Invaluable insight. Best book I've ever read on the subject.
After reading this book my manager's behavior makes perfect sense. I had never encountered someone as twisted as this person. And it took me quite a while to see his true colors. Now I know exactly where he's coming from, why he does what he does. It's sad that there are
people
out there that make life so much harder than it should have to be for the rest of us. But being able to identify such people in your life (both at home and at work) is very important and can be of invaluable help to:
1) not go crazy oneself,
2) take corrective action.
Summarizing: the book is written with amazing clarity and exposure. Also the examples of life situations are excellent. If you read only 1 book this year, read this one.
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Expose manipulators and take control of your life!
Dr. Simon teaches the mechanics of popular tactics used by manipulators and how you can identify and thwart off these attacks so that you control the situation and outcome.
Dr. Simon also challenges the popular tenet held sacred by most psychologists: "One who is a manipulator must have been a constant victim of manipulation themselves." Dr Simon teaches that many cruel manipulators were never victims, they just mastered the tactics because they believe hurting, embarrassing, insulting, or belittling others gets them what they want fast.
How this book helped me: There is a person that I have no choice but to see around almost every day for the past few years. After the end of every "friendly" conversation I felt depressed or insulted but could not figure out how this person was doing it. This book helped me to understand what was really happening and by following Dr. Simon's guidelines exposed this person and took control. Because this person knows it can no longer control me, it does not even look at me when we pass. Not a perfect relationship but it is better than the alternative.
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the title explains it all
This book helps you deal with those
people
who make you feel bad at saying no. They manipulate you by making you feel like you are the bad guy. Its easier deal with someone who is overtly aggressive than covertly, because you can see their manipulations. That is why I highly recommend this book for everyone!
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"This book clearly illustrates the true nature of disturbed characters, exposes the tactics the most
manipulative characters
use to pull the wool over the eyes of others, and outlines powerful, practical ways to deal more effectively with manipulative
people
."
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