Beyond COnsequences, Logic and Control: A Love Based Approach Helping Attachemnt Challenged Chidlren with...

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	• Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children With ... Heather T. Forbes Beyond Consequences Institute, LLC, 2006 - 127 pages average customer review:based on 40 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Beyond COnsequences, Logic and Control: A Love Based Approach Helping Attachemnt Challenged Chidlren with Severe Behaviors

I enjoyed reading this book because the language is simple. It is not techinical but straight to basics. It demonstrates perceptions we have that chilren owe us as parents. Traumatized children have a different thought process. It validates the behavior and demonstatrates clear ways of thinking and processing so that the child as well as parent feel safe to rebuild a relationship/trust that was lost. The reader must be open to the process of thinking in a different manner. The techniques take time but the process helps to ease our fears as well as the child's. What we fail to realize that trauma is based on perception, we can feel empathy for a child who has lived in trauma. Just because we make things look good and feel that we are doing our best, that trauma still lives in that child and it will resurface thorugh time. Even for ourselves. I would reccomend this book to parents who adopt or even have chidlren that are ODD or angry.

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Good for all Parents & Teachers to read

I bought this book after hearing others speak about it. I think every person who works with children in some capacity or is a parent should read this book. Yes it is primarily geared to those kids with more severe behavior challenges, but every kid at some point "acts out". This book (and her website) give great insight on why kids act out and how to handle it instead of yelling or punishing in traditionals ways. No more time outs! Try a time in :o) The reason I don't give it the 5th star is because I think it could use a few more "how to handle scenarios".

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No to tough love

We have been so indoctrinated with the "Tough Love" approach when our children get tough that it is hard for us to believe a different way can work. Heather makes us look at the risks of tough love and gives us good reason to look to the fear beneath the child's behavior and see that tough love only increases that fear. The child needs connection not disconnection in order to feel safe and once again regulated.

reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control covers in detail the effects of trauma on the body-mind and how trauma alters childrenÂ?s behavioral responses. The first four chapters help parents and professionals clearly understand the neurological research behind the basic model given in this book, deemed, Â?The Stress Model.Â? While scientifically based in research, it is written in an easy to understand and easy to grasp format for anyone working with or parenting children with severe behaviors. The next seven chapters are individually devoted to seven behaviors typically seen with attachment-challenged children. These include lying, stealing, hoarding and gorging, aggression, defiance, lack of eye contact, and yes, even a chapter that talks candidly about how parents appear hostile and angry when they work to simply maintain their families from reaching complete states of chaos. Each of these chapters talks in depth on these specific behaviors and gives vivid and contrasting examples of how this love-based approach works to foster healing and works to develop relationships, as opposed to the fear-based traditional attachment parenting approaches that are being advocated in todayÂ?s attachment field. The authors end with a Parenting Bonus Section. True testimonials from parents who have been able to make significant changes in their homes with this model of parenting, giving real-life examples of how they have been able to find the healing, peace, and love that they had been seeking prior to working through the techniques outlined in this book.

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