Great if you want to know about College Narcissists

books:


	• When You Love a Man Who Loves Himself W. Keith Campbell Sourcebooks Casablanca, 2005 - 304 pages average customer review:based on 16 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Misses other than classic NPD

This book is a good overview and offered some clarity in identifying men with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but it focuses too much on the classic, successful, high-power business-man type. It only touches on the idea that there are other "types". There are NPD individuals, just as extreme, whose narcissism manifests as rebellion against society or whose narcissistim locks on intellectual or athletic abilities or their talents and are less concerned about more conventional ways to impress others. Many don't quite fit into the pattern described in the book, which could mislead someone in identifying a true narcissist in thier life. It can also give the narcissist even more excuses to exempt themselves from the label (not they they usually need help). There is a much greater variety of narcissist than to easy to spot than the NPD guy that this book focuses on. I knew an NPD man who was rarely employed because no job or employer was good enough for him. He lived in poverty but arrogantly maintained that everyone he worked with with too inferior for him tolerate. Anything that can help a man or women identify and deal with the narcissist in their life is good. I hope this book accomplishes that, but it could have been more helpful if this book presented more insight into the other ways that NPD manifests itself. It is still a good resource to add to your understanding. It may be helpful to read and weigh everthing you can find before deciding what to do about the narcissist(s) in your life.

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Great if you want to know about College Narcissists

I bought this book due to the great reviews and found myself disappointed.

It is a good book although rather simplistic and a little sexist. Dr. Campbell bases almost all of his research (I believe, from what I can find on Google regarding his Bibliography) on college students. He misses or dismisses any male narcissist over 35 (my guess here) and hardly mentions female narcissists.

If you are a woman in college or in your twenties and thirties and are still single, you will probably find this book valuable. It's all about how to date "nice men" and how to recognize and stay away from Narcissist playboys.

If you are married to or divorced from a narcissist, not so much. He completely misses what happens to us once we are sucked into the narcissist's vortex. He only hints that it is much harder to leave if you have time invested (investments) and counsels women to think about this as well as the other factors from research of a Professor Rusbult.

In my experience it's a whole lot harder. Especially if you have been traumatized by a narcissist. If you have spent any amount of time living with one, you probably have been traumatized. Dr. Campbell misses the boat by not stating this clearly.

I also found the comments from Dr. Campbell that narcissists grow out of their narcissism as they age due to reduction in testosterone ridiculous. He should meet my ex husband. He should talk to women in domestic violence support groups. He should talk to Lundy Bancroft or Patricia Evans. He should talk to men who are married to narcissist abusers.

If you think you are dating a narcissist or have dated one, or want to know how not to make the same mistake and end up married to one - again, then buy this book. I give it 3 stars instead of 2 because his dating advice is pretty good.

If you are married to one or divorced from one and are trying to heal - look elsewhere.

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best of the bunch

I read a lot of books of this type, and I have to say, I really think THIS one is the best. It can be incredibly baffling and frustrating ( as well of often heartbreaking) to deal with a person or partner with NPD...but, with a book like this ( which I heavily underlined!!) I didn't feel so alone. VERY well written. GET THIS BOOK and stop tearing your hair out over 'your' NPD'er ..and it's nice to know we can quit blaming ourselves!

A valuable addition

This book is a valuable addition to the popular psychology books on narcissism. Its tone is trenchant yet compassionate and there is surprising humor in it, too. This book was written by a man who is educated and qualified to speak knowledgeably on the subject, yet who writes in accessible prose and doesn't condescend to women at all; rather he respects the difficulty of finding oneself involved in a one-way relationship with a narcissist and gives women information they can really use to improve their awareness of their situation and make the best decisions for their own lives. I read several other books on the subject before this one; I wished I had read this one first. It was very informative as well as comforting and empowering.

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4

Narcissistic men seem like the ultimate catch: self-confident, attractive, charming individuals who are often the life of the party. The narcissist always knows the place to be and who to be seen with. His attention is initially very flattering, but eventually his behavior is not: he becomes aloof and controlling and may cheat. He still seems somewhat interested, however, and often makes enough nice gestures to maintain a girl?s interest, leaving all but him to wonder: what is going on?
The country?s leading expert on narcissism, Dr. W. Keith Campbell, explains how to identify a narcissist, what it means to love a man who loves himself and how to break the cycle of dating men with this personality disorder.

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