Most inspiring book I've ever read on how to date yourself and date others

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	• Undefended Love Marlena S. Lyons, Jett Psaris New Harbinger Publications, 2000 - 176 pages average customer review:based on 34 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

One of the best I've read on the subject

I work as a marriage & family therapist, and only happened upon this book after a few colleagues recommended it. This isn't a clinical book, rather it's far more accessible to anyone who's wanting more than a typical self-help book. "Undefended Love" goes far beyond the helpful observations about how human personalities are based on attachment, security, protection, and strategies to compensate for wounds. It goes beyond healthy,non-reactive closeness between a couple. It shows a path for couples to find deeper resources within themselves individually that can create a truer foundation for growth and vitality in all their relationships. It's not a quick-fix or easy path, but it does feel quite true and in sync with the newest findings in neuroscience and other psycho-spiritual paradigms. This is a wonderful book I can easily recommend.

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Good for anyone in a relationship

This is an insightful and thought-provoking book. Great for a therapist, but also very accessible to the layperson. Takes you through some self-review that gets to the root of what triggers us when we have conflict in a relationship, and how to move past those triggers to real "undefended" love.

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Most inspiring book I've ever read on how to date yourself and date others

I consider myself someone who is fairly thoughtful and has already made an effort around being spiritually grounded, self-aware and having healthy relationships. This book, however, sets up a pretty profound framework around these things and asks deep questions. It helped me get to a new level of thought about my relationship with myself as well as my romantic relationships. I got an immense amount of good out of this book. It helps peel back the layers and digs deep! After reading it, I bought several copies and handed them out to my closeset friends.

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transformative

If you're looking to unravel a twisted up, convoluted, complicated, and painful relationship this is the book for you. It saved my 25+ year old marriage and has enhanced many other relationships as well. My friends got so tired of hearing me rave about the book that they bought their own copies and found their lives transformed as well. It ain't easy work dismantling a lifetime of armour--and don't let anyone tell you it is. But it's welllll worth the effort!!! And really, if you get just ONE thang from the book it will be worth the purchase price...and there's LOTS of thangs to get from the book. This is one you can read over and over again over the years and get something new from it each time. If you're looking for ONE book that hits all the nails on their heads THIS is the one...I've read soooo many books about following your bliss, passionate pursuit of one's dreams, making the impossible possible etc etc and this book is at the core of all of them. You dive into the work of this book and you too will see your life transformed--it's truly amazing. Go for it! peace love & joy Coco

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Slow reading, but only because every sentence is a piece of art.

This book really helps you uncover yourself to reveal your inner beauty. People all around you will seem more peaceful. You will be able to be responsive instead of reactive. It is the most uplifting feeling in the world.

reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

The path to true intimacy is a difficult one. In this book, two psychotherapists teach that everyone has the capacity to love without defenses or qualifications and to know themselves so deeply that real intimacy becomes a lifelong expression of their deepest nature. Problems and conflicts that inevitably arise in relationships can become opportunities for a deeper connection. Through illuminating case studies, guided self-inquiries, and challenging exercises, readers learn to engage in a deeper dialogue with their partners, express profound aspects of their nature, and discover that undefended loving can bolster inner strengths they never knew they had. "This beautifully written work is a stunning breakthrough in the field of books on relationships." - Pat Holt, former book review editor, San Francisco Chronicle

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