I was ready to cancel the wedding...until I read this book

books:


	• Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship Sherry Argov Adams Media, 2002 - 272 pages average customer review:based on 437 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Good book for woman

I absolutely love this book. I don't want to play game but guy always act mostly the same thing in relationship. So this book made me think what went wrong.

I wish I had read this book 20 years ago

Thank you Sherry! This is one of the best books I have read about relationships with men. In fact, I wish I had read this book 20 years ago. This should be the official guide for all women (all ages) adventuring into the dating world. The younger you read this book the greater your chances of succeeding in your relationships with men.

I am the typical nice girl. I am driven by emotions and when I meet a guy I like I see him as "the one" until proven otherwise. Therefore I automatically feel that I must give my 100% to that person. The problem with this approach is that giving your 100% too early in the relationship will make him feel as if he had it too easy and will make him go away looking for a better challenge. This book describes in a very simple and funny way something that we instinctively knew but couldn't put our finger on: These fantastic and interesting creatures called men are, very succinctly, "hunters" looking for their match... therefore women need to be the smart "strategist" prey.

I always wondered why relationships with the guys I liked never worked out while the guys I was not interested in were always chasing me. After reading this book it is clear that the reason was ME. It was amazing reading some of the examples about the typical mistakes women make that will kill the sparks on a relationship. More than one time it felt like I was reading my own diary...Depressing. It made me feel stupid and ignorant but at the same time it opened my eyes.

One note of caution: I have read some reviews stating that not all men are like the ones portrayed in this book, like if this book were about "jerks". This book is not about how "bad" men are or how "good" and mistreated girls are. I am pretty sure we all agree that inherent evil has nothing to do with sex. This book is about helping you understand basic rules of human nature and principles of relationships between sexes based on the fact that men and women are different and "think" differently. This book will give you the tools that you need in order to understand how men think and perceive your actions from their vantage point so you can make yours and your partner's dating experience more interesting and enduring

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I was ready to cancel the wedding...until I read this book

My fiance and I hit a really rough patch. He was acting annoyed by my pressence, stopped wanting to be intimate and seemed tense and upset all the time.

So I made the "nice girl" mistake by trying to be perfect for him -- cooking these huge, elaborate, expensive dinners, making sure the house was spotless, buying him little presents, etc. Nothing worked. I was convinced he had fallen out of love with me or was cheating.

Out of desperation, I went to the bookstore and grabbed a stack of relationship books hoping for some insight. One of the ones I came across was, "Why Men Love Bitches".

I read the chapter on nagging and realized that I complained A LOT to my fiance about EVERYTHING over and over again. I saw myself in that chapter and learned how I was pushing him away and nagging makes a woman come across as needy and unappealing. Also, the author explained that nagging is ineffective with both men and women because it makes the person being nagged feel like the nagger is trying to control them

I bought the book and immediately followed the advice of that chapter. I took my nagging from a 10 to a .5 and gave my fiance a little space. I also stopped sweating the small stuff, like how normally I'd go off on him for leaving his boots in the bathroom

The next day, my fiance did most of the things I normally nagged him about without asking (ie: making the bed, washing dishes, feeding the dog). Then, he came home from work early for the first time in a month and cooked me dinner.

We were intimate twice the following night (HE intiated it for once, not me!) and his whole attitude toward me is more like it used to be when we first started dating.

So yeah, this book may have a flaw or two in some people's eyes, but to me it's what you make of it. I think the best thing to do is read it and motify the advice to fit your particular situation. Thats what I did and it has been working great for me.

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Unfortunately people still need to read books like this!

When I started reading this book, I thought that maybe it was not for me. Maybe I am already a bitch... I value myself and I would never put up with some of the situations the author describes as a no-no in her book. But as you progress towards the end of the book you start identifying with so many patterns that it is scary to think it might have been your fault the last time a relationship did not work! So, we value ourselves a lot in the beginning of a relationship, and then we get dangerously involved... is this our fault or the jerk's?
What got me questioning this book is the fact that it is not worth getting involved with someone who won't love you for who you are. I am sorry, but pretending I am someone else for the rest of my life is not my idea of happiness! Instead, I prefer to push away those guys that love to hunt. My purpose in life is not to make some jerk's life challenging and fun.
The mistake in this book is to sell the idea that you can transform a jerk into a prince by following simple rules of behaviour. People don't change, they grow, and that takes precious years that you may want to spend with someone else instead! Someone who has already grown up, perhaps? It's not that hard to find (and I recognize I am talking about men here)!
The fact is, you can transform a jerk into a prince temporarily, and most likely in the beginning of the relationship while he is still trying to impress you... but he will return to his jerky way of being as soon as you marry him, so why bother?
This book is all the way worth it, but has to be read with a critical eye. Instead of transforming that jerk into a prince, follow the author's advice to drive all the jerks away. And go get yourself a nice gentleman, will you?

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Do you feel like you are too nice?

Sherry Argov?s Why Men Love Bitches delivers a unique perspective as to why men are attracted to a strong woman who stands up for herself. With saucy detail on every page, this no-nonsense guide reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a "yes woman" who routinely sacrifices herself. The author provides compelling answers to the tough questions women often ask:

-Why are men so romantic in the beginning and why do they change?

-Why do men take nice girls for granted?

-Why does a man respect a woman when she stands up for herself?

Full of much-needed advice, hilarious real-life relationship scenarios, "she says/he thinks" tables, and the author?s unique "Attraction Principles," Why Men Love Bitches gives you bottom-line answers. It helps you know who you are, stand your ground, and relate to men on a whole new level. Once you?ve discovered the feisty attitude men find so magnetic, you?ll not only increase the romantic chemistry in the relationship-you?ll gain your man?s love and respect with far less effort.

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