One of the best on this topic out there

books:


	• My Husband Is Gay: A Woman's Survival Guide Carol Grever Crossing Press, 2001 - 180 pages average customer review:based on 10 reviews view larger image
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One of the best on this topic out there

While I have yet to find a good comprehensive book on this topic, this is the best I've read yet. Carol Grever treats the subject with compassion, and interweaves many personal stories that the reader can relate to. I also appreciated that, while it may be rare or tough for a mixed orientation marriage to stay together, it's not impossible and the book reflects that message.

Having been the spouse of a gay man for 20 years (and known of his orientation for 10), I know that it is not impossible to make a marriage work, though it takes some incredible strength on the parts of both the straight and gay spouses. My husband and I both appreciated this book's approach.

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So grateful for this book.

I bought this book because my husband has decided he's gay. Because we first had a friendship many years ago, then we turned on the romance, we are surviving through this situation still living together, with our children. We are giving ourselves a time of transition to work it out. The kids are too young to hear the circumstances so they don't even suspect. But, I had so many questions in regards to how to handle this, not necessarily why is he gay. But, the book helped me to confirm that I definitely can't change his orientation, he and I had both thought for a moment, that it could be prayed out of him, but alas, no, and we are Christians and really love the Lord. Just hearing about other women's situations is a help in transcending your own troubles. You almost feel that you are sitting present listening to support groups talk about their challenges with the husband coming out. I feel that my husband and I have definitely taken the high road in transitioning to an eventual separation. We plan on staying very involved as a "family", and I hope is at some point in the distant future, to meet a man whom I can share a complete relationship with. My husband is an amazing person and father and I always want him in my life, in our children's lives. It hurts so much now to be working through this, the tears keep coming, my husband and I continue to have discussions about handling the future for our "family". Carol's book is very comforting, focuses on keeping you healthy, bringing you to a place of peace, as the straight spouse, as you work through your issues. There is no workbook, but I definitely was calmed and helped to keep on track to love my husband now as still a best friend, person, and father, and myself, too, so that life can move forward for me positively and healthfully. Her last section on steps to take to "get through this situation" are of peace and of love, which when acted out by anyone, in my heart I know, is the best way. I know my husband hurts because this incredible situation hurts me and will affect our "beautiful" family as it is. Carol helped me work through my anger. I'd sit down to read the book when feeling, mad, angry and confused, and stop reading at a point, then feeling hopeful, more at peace and brought back to a path of love and health for which to lead my actions for both myself and towards my husband, which of course is a definite benefit for our children, whom we adore above all. Her words to regard him as a valuable person, etc. were encouraging.
All the best, this book will help you on your way, in a situation which of course is devastating to anyone.

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reviews: page 1, 2

Carol Grever and her husband, Jim, were high school sweethearts who married in their early twenties. Thirty years and two children later, Jim announced to his wife that he was homosexual. A fundamentalist Christian, he had been leading a double life for years. In an effort to process her pain and confusion, Carol Grever sought out other heterosexual women, of all ages, ethnicities, and educational backgrounds, who were married to gay men. The stories she uncovered examine these women?s coping strategies and form the basis of this manual for healing.