Unstated ethno-centrism, but very useful within that bias

books:


	• Five Signs of a Loving Family Gary Chapman Northfield Publishing, 1998 - 256 pages average customer review:based on 7 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Intimacy in Marriage

The three chapters about Intimacy are probably the best in the book. It defines what intimacy is: Being able to look into another person and allowing the other person to look into your soul, without being judgemental or critical. It describes several kinds of intimacy: Intelectual, social, spiritual and sexual. These are the bonds that mantain a marriage together. The book has a section with practical exercises for couples to learn how to develop each one of the categories of intimacy described in the book. I had never read any source that expains this issue with such clarity. It has a very simple and practical application for the couple who wants to regain or reinforce their emotional connection.

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practical suggestions to develop a loving family

It's not only a description of the five signs of a loving family but a helpful guide with practical advices about how to show love to your spouse and kids.
Some times it gives obvious advices.

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How to Have a Healthy, Functional Family

While blending a family, I picked up this book for help in building some healthy habits. I've read and enjoyed other works by this author (see many of them right here on Amazon).

This book is well-written and shows all families (not just blended or stepfamilies) how to move forward toward unity. I was not disappointed; read this book before or after "The Five Love Languages" by the same author; you'll enjoy how the two books fit nicely together!

Helpful for building a family, especially good for stepfamilies.

Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W.
I also highly recommend: Happily Remarried: Making Decisions Together * Blending Families Successfully * Building a Love That Will Last

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Unstated ethno-centrism, but very useful within that bias

This book has a very strong tone of Christian conservativism about it. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that, but some more liberal-minded readers may be put off by it, as I was. The author has a background in anthropology and has lived among other cultures. While he suggests that this gives him insight into how healthy families work, he does not write from the objective perspective one might expect from an anthropologist. The whole of the book seems to take his American Christian perspective for granted; and in spite of scattered generalized references to other religions being "ok", the book seems to be written for an audience who also takes this viewpoint for granted. That being said, there are some wonderful suggestions and tips which can be applied in any kind of home. It is a quick read and extremely useful (though I wouldn't say inspiring). One further thing: I was at first put off by some of the chapter titles (e.g. "The Husband as a Loving Leader", "For the Wives Only: The Fine Art of Encouraging") - they seemed sexist to me, i.e. that the husband should run the household and the wife should encourage and support her husband in his role (leading only in a deceptive way, when at all). In fact, in spite of the titles, these chapters are really just about spouses being mutually supportive of each other and fostering an equal partnership in marriage. That's something that most people, liberal or conservative, can agree upon.

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Read for Book club and fell in love

This was an excellent book. The views presented make perfect sense. I see how others express love and understand better when others are showing love for me. Bought this for both of my brothers after reading it. Well done and enjoyable.

reviews: page 1, 2

We've all heard about dysfunctional families. Their struggles are the topic of TV shows, best-selling books, and popular magazines. Everyday something else that parents or children do is labeled 'dysfunctional.' Are the world's problems destined to become our own? How can we make sure we are part of the solution - not the problem? According to respected marriage counselor Gary Chapman, we can still make the dream of loving families come true. Just as bankers study authentic bills if they want to spot counterfeits, we can learn how to make our own families 'work' by studying successful ones. In Five Signs of a Loving Family, Dr. Chapman suggest that service, love, leadership, teaching and obedience are the hallmarks of lasting families. And he prescribes practical ways to help every family member nurture these traits. His words are powerful encouragement for parents and children alike. (Formerly titled Five Signs of a Functional Family.)

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