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Giving the Love That Heals: A Guide for Parents
Harville Hendrix, Helen Hunt

Atria, 1997 - 384 pages

average customer review:based on 16 reviews
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   highly recommended  highly recommended





I now have Peace

Giving the Love that Heals is a book that finally gave mepeace. By this I mean it helped to heal the problems from my past and gave me inner peace, and it helped me to deal with my teenage son that I was always fighting with, so now I have peace in the home. This was a book a could not put down once I started to read it. My children and my husband noticed a diffrence in my parenting technique's right away. I have made a conscious effort to see the things in my children that delight me, and not to dwell on the things that they do that are sometimes disappointing. This book taught me that the wounds from my past that I had not dealt with had power over me. Once I dealt with the past, then I realized I could handle the future. Now my future with my husband and children is very bright, and I know I can handle pretty much anything life has to offer me. This is a book I would recommend to everyone. Thank you for the peace in my life and in my heart. Kim Poliacik


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Not Your Average Parenting Book

I was somewhat disappointed, having read Hendrix's other books. This book is set up very much like Simple Abundance, and each day has its "words to live by". For example, there is no path to follow if you know your child is suffering from the psycholigical disorder that is commonly known as adolescence. Not bad, but not chock full of valuable exercises like his previous works.

Nicole Flowers









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Best Parenting Book Ever

I recommend this book to every parent who mentions struggling with their child(ren). It goes beyond being just a parenting-technique book to helping the parent identify their own issues stemming from childhood. Through that process, the parent learns where his/her weaknesses or blocks are, so that they have the clarity to discern what is actually occurring with the child, rather than being clouded by his/her perceptions. From there, the parent can use the techniques taught in the book to help the child move successfully through the developmental phase that is causing frustration.

My favorite parts of the book are the detailed explanations of the chronological stages of a child's life; the explanation and examples of symbiotic parenting; and the explanation of how we learn to parent how are parents parented us, which is how they were parented, ad infinitum, with the assurance that we can break the cycle of mistakes.

This is a book for parents who are committed to helping their children navigate through life, even though it requires some self-discovery. It is not a book for a parent who wants a quick solution, because this requires commitment. For me, the healing that resulted in myself, my child and our relationship went far beyond what I was asking for, making the commitment a bargain at any price.


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Doing your Homo-work as a parent and Gay Parent

The writing of Harville Hendrix's have become my relationship bibles. I find his clear way of taking psychological theory and putting into practice for relationships of all kind very effective.

Lesbian and Gay parents have their work cut out for them in dealing with issues as a parent that are across the board as well as their work on how the homophobic culture will affect their children. What I love about this book is that it invites the parent to look at their own childhood knowing that that is often where parents get stuck. Internalized homophobia will be an important thing to consider for Gay parents in the identity stage of a child's development as well as the intimacy formation stage.

Also, for straight parents worried about their children being gay, there is a wonderful line in the book on page 224: The conscious parent understands that his child is "trying on" identities now in the present, not forecasting who he will be in the future. If a boy dresses up in the pretty party dress his mother saved from her childhood, that does not mean that he will have problems with sexual identity......Obviously he wont' grow up to be Big Bird or Spiderman, although he may identify with them as characters who have powerful personalities". Hurray for Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt for writing a supurb book!
Joe Kort


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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4



Harville Hendrix has illuminated the paths to healthy, loving relationships in his New York Times bestsellers Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find. Now, he and his coauthor and wife, Helen Hunt, bring us to a new understanding of the most profound love of all -- by helping parents nurture their own development as they encourage emotional wholeness in their children.

In Giving The Love That Heals, Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt help us explore:

? Maximizer and Minimizer parents -- the defensive styles that internally shape what we say and how we interact with our children.

? Safety, Support, and Structure -- how to give children what they really need from us.

? Modeling Adulthood -- recovering our innate wholeness to provide a model of adulthood for our children that will preserve their innate wholeness.

In this profound, groundbreaking audiobook, Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt lead us through an extraordinary process of growth as we help our children to become healthy, responsible, and caring people.


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