Understanding the causes for that behavior is good and compassionate. Yet there are times when, to preserve the "inner child" the author refers to, a parent will do something which is actually destructive to a child, such as being a toxic in-law or undermining their child's sense of self-worth.
Sometimes it's not about love - just control.
At this point you must draw a clear line. My compassion ends where another person's assault on my well-being begins. I advocate compassion and understanding in so far as they help an adult child begin to end the pattern of being a willing partner in an unhealthy codependent relationship.
Loving yourself means not giving people the permission to harm you or hold you back in life. Certainly not your parents, since that contradicts what their very role in your life was supposed to be.
For this reason, I believe parents should be held to a higher, not lower, standard of behavior in this regard.
People who claim to love you should not habitually cause you pain. That contradicts the meaning of love.
I posit also that attempting to create dependency in an adult by subtly trying to make that person feel incompetent and inadequate is a form of emotional abuse - and one of which not only parents are guilty, of course - friends, lovers, other family members may all have a stake in your inadequacy or dependency.
Such are false relationships. Someone whose love for you is real and unselfish rejoices in your competency, growth, happiness, and the fulfillment of your dreams. Or, is contrite when they realize they have not been doing so, and makes the effort to do better.