Dare to Parent Despite 'Parenting Culture'

books:


	• It Takes a Parent : How the Culture of Pushover Parenting Is Hurting Our Kids--and What to Do AboutIt Betsy Hart, 2005 - 256 pages average customer review:based on 23 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Dare to Parent Despite 'Parenting Culture'

Betsy Hart has written an enjoyable, common-sense, and very informative primer on parenting in a `parenting culture' of so-called experts who often contradict themselves and who seem to think they (and not parents) know what is best for raising healthy, well-adjusted kids.

Hart's main point for me was that parents must be prepared and willing to fight and persevere in their `rescue mission' for their kids' hearts. She presented many well-documented examples of how today's mostly well-intentioned parenting culture has often led parents away from their traditional role in raising their kids, and how too many well-intentioned but misled parents have too often abdicated their parental leadership responsibilities by blindly relying on the advice of the so-called parenting experts. Hart repeatedly made compelling arguments for parents to assert themselves in ways that they can effectively influence their kids' hearts:

"Parents cannot determine good outcomes for their children. What we can determine is whether we will persevere to the best of our ability in training and guiding them toward the right end...My wise friends helped me to understand that my mission couldn't just be stopping the backtalk, ending the tantrums, or getting my kids to quit squabbling. My mission was to go much further than that. I had to understand my children's hearts were in danger, from themselves even more than from the world, and I had to be on a rescue mission for those hearts. Understanding that, I'm in a much better position to make use of the experts' advice when it's helpful...I like to say that my goal for my children is heaven, not Harvard. If they go to Harvard on their way to heaven, I suppose that's great. But if I'm so focused on getting them into Harvard that I don't think about the much larger goal of helping their hearts become ready for heaven, then I have failed them. What a tragedy that would be. The parenting culture does not have heaven as its goal for my children...It's parents who aren't intimidated by the parenting culture who will typically be in the best position to be a help to their kids."

If you are a confused or hesitant parent because of the parenting culture's experts' (authors, doctors, counselors, etc.) advice conflicting with your parental instincts and experiences, this book can help give you confidence when it comes to making decisions about what is best for your kids. If you are a dedicated parent who enjoys sharing and exploring parental tips and experiences with other dedicated parents, this book will make you smile, laugh, and possibly see your parenting role and responsibility in a whole new context - like it did for me.

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Giving parents confidence in Common Sense

With the onslaught of "experts" and childrearing theories, it seems fewer feel comfortable to raise their children just using personal common sense. I am the mother of two little ones and I am getting so tired of hearing my friends discuss what so-and-so expert said as though it is the Bible.

When I read this book, it was like breathing fresh air. Yes. I am normal. Yes. I can raise my children using my own God-given sense and intuition. No, I do not have to consult with the current popular expert on whether my method passes muster.

I especially appreciated Betsy Hart's discussion of spanking as that is the most hot-button parenting topic out there.

This book will give parents a sense of direction and puts the power in their courts, rather than taking the power and putting it in the hands of the "expert".

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A Great Book for Parents!!!

I found this book to be a good read, an encouragment and very enlightening!!! Betsy Hart does an excellent job of engaging her readers. SHe makes them think, laugh, read on and reflect on what they are doing as parents. She is candid and to the point.

I found many of her observations to be right on the mark and easy to follow. There were also a few that I would choose to not use for myself and my family. However, that is the beauty of this book! It allows it's readers the priviledge to Think for Themselves!!!

Thank you Betsy, for a book that is thought provoking and real!!! This is truly an excellent work that I have recommended, and will continue to recommend, to parents who are "Looking for a little Advice"!!!

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Overall good book

I enjoyed most of this book, and agreed with abotu 85% of it. The thing I like most, as do most readers is that it doesn't overanalyze things. Our culture and the "parenting culture" as Hart puts it is SO obsessed with overanalyzing things that are easy to figure out. Hart also has the good sense to realize that finding a balance between something is often the most important thing about not only parenting, but most issues in life. I also like how she puts a lot of emphasis on raising compassionate, kind children with a conscience who give to others. So many parents today forget that their kids have to actually interact with others and have good relationships. Despite these good things I gave this book 4 stars becase it did get a bit reptative and too Christian for my taste towards the end. If someone wants to write a book on raising children in a Christian way that's great, but I would rather not read it. Some things she pulls in dealing with Christianity are simple morals people of all or no faiths have, but after 3 Bible quotes and too much talk about sin, it was enough. I also think that there were a few views on child counselors and experts that she judges too quickly. She must realize that there are good professionals for kids who do care, do have their own kids, and do realize they don't know better than the parents. Overall though, this is an excellent book on to the point parenting, without all the nonsense that too many other experts harp on.

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Finally!

Finally.....geez how long did it take for soemone to write a book with the little simple things that it takes to be a parent? These ideas are a the most basic and this is a great book simply because it reminds us that we shouldn't be trying to be our kids' friend but rather a guide. I say NO to my child all the time without needing to justify it. I do NOT let my child interrupt me or an adult conversation. I do NOT let my child choose what he is having for dinner. And believe me...my life has been so much better for it. And my child is proof that a well mannered and well behaved kid is possible if there are guidelines and rules as pointed out by Mrs. Hart. Hurrah!!! for old school child rearing. We are doomed if we keep up the uber parenting methods of today.

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

A nationally syndicated columnist and conservative commentator examines the harmful effects of today's "parenting culture."

Tyrannized by "experts." Obsessed with perfection. Harried and anxious to the point of misery. Columnist and commentator Betsy Hart sees these traits in what she calls today's "parenting culture"-that is, a nation of parents who refrain from making moral judgments, who put their kids on a pedestal whether they deserve it or not, who shy away from disciplining or even criticizing when kids misbehave, and who generally cede the responsibility for making decisions, large and small, to their children. Hart argues that the consequences of this hands-off approach can be seen on the faces of dependent, wayward, and even violent children and teens-not to mention miserable moms and dads.

A mother of four, Hart presents a smart, passionate, and provocative argument for the crucial-and currently unfashionable-role of parents who lead rather than follow. From parents who insist on giving their kids a choice about everything and make excuses for their bad behavior, to those who drive their kids to excel at any endeavor and who turn to trained professionals for every problem, It Takes a Parent questions some tightly held cultural assumptions, and sheds light on the everyday concerns of parents across the nation.

This insightful, commonsense book will help shift the focus back to the role and responsibilities of parents-for guiding the character and hearts of their children, so they will grow up to be responsible adults themselves.

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